Hi,

I've been together with my Girlfriends for around 2 and half years. I'm 26 years old and my (ex now is 25). I see her 3-4 times a week and I stayed at her's place every weekend. We're very good together and I'm very comfortable and naïve to believe that she is the one.

We were planning to go on a holiday trip next year January. So I decided to see her on that night and book all our itenary. So after work, I went to her place and take for a dinner (she was happy), we even went to look for martial class before we went out for dinner as she want to do something with me.
After dinner, when we get home (just before getting out of the car).. she says 'Would you go to overseas with me if somehow we are not together anymore?'

I was shocked when she says this, and I says 'what makes you suddenly says this ?'. Then she told me that she think we are not connected enough, and she couldn't really see me in her future. She says that I'm a great guys, and she knows that she would not find someone as good and as much caring as me.
I was very upset when she says this, and mention something like 'Do you mean you want to break up with me ?' She then apologize and felt sorry and she tries to avoid and says 'Let's not talk about this, lets go in and plan our trip and watch tv'. But I'm so upset and I keep pushing her to talk. She was upset and she wanted to break up for good.

Both of us were very upset, and I left her. The next day I Texted her, and I knew straight away she was upset and I drove to her place and apologize to her. But she told me that maybe this is the best for both of us, but she also says, I will always be there for you. And she want me to be happy and find some one else that can love me (I know the fact in our relationship I love her more than she love me).

She also told me that sometimes she felt like she is not treating me right, but I have never felt this way. I'm always happy when I see her happy.
So we still Kiss and hug and she cries and tell me that how much she cares about me and how much she will miss me.

That night, my feeling was really messed up. I missed her so much, and I believe that her reasoning is not strong enough, so I went to her place again the next day. I brought her a flower and confess about how I really felt about her. All night she cried as I told her how special she is and how I want another chance. The word that coming out of her makes me thing that she is unsure what she want, but I know deep inside her heart she still loves me.
After we both settle down, I took her to go for desert. I still hold her hand and hug and kiss her in the elevator and I says to her I will cherish you till the end.
She smile and hug me back. So we come home and she asked me why am I doing this to her ? And I says because I loves you and again I gave her another kiss.

Then after that we both watch movie till midnight and I leave home. Before she let me out of the door again we both kiss and hug and I can see in her eyes the happiness.

But the next morning again she texted me 'I'm sorry but I don't want you to think that way.. but I really care about you and I want you to be happy'.

I don't know what to do. I loved her so much, and I treated her like my own family. My heart says Keep on going, don't give up on her, but I'm not sure.

Her birthday is coming up in a month time. And I already plan to surprise her with something very very romantic. I don't know what to do... I'm lost without her..
Thanks,

You need to let her go. It's going to be very difficult at first, but from your post, it appears that she doesn't see you in her future. So, stop planning for her birthday, stop going to her house and move on with your life. If you are meant to be together, she will contact you. It's up to you to decide if you want to be with someone who doesn't love you as much and wants you to be happy with someone else.

Thanks. I guess that's the best things to do for both of us, if we're meant to be together she will contact me again.

She do says that she need me, and she does not want me to stop talking to her, and she want me to be there for her all the time.

Its seems to me that she just not mature enough and she is not ready to commit as how I want her to commit in our relationships.

The problem I have is, I don't know if I can let her be lonely and sad without me being there for her. She is very strange, enclose person and does not have any friends apart from me. I know her so well and I cannot bear if she is lonely or sad.

I mean if this is not she really want, I don't want to leave her.

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Originally Posted by windyzz

Thanks. I guess that's the best things to do for both of us, if we're meant to be together she will contact me again.

She do says that she need me, and she does not want me to stop talking to her, and she want me to be there for her all the time.

Its seems to me that she just not mature enough and she is not ready to commit as how i want her to commit in our relationships.

the problem i have is, i dont know if i can let her be lonely and sad without me being there for her. She is very strange, enclose person and does not have any friends apart from me. I know her so well and I cannot bear if she is lonely or sad.

I mean if this is not she really want, i dont want to leave her.

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She needs to grow up. You are not responsible for her happiness. She can't have it all. If you are her only friend, then she has some deeper problems.

Thanks Jenn. I know she does, she has problem with her personality that makes people don't like her, and she seems to distant everyone. So far only me that understand her and never want her to be lonely.

But she do need to grow up and I will follow your advice. Thanks

Quote:

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Originally Posted by windyzz

Thanks Jenn. I know she does, she has problem with her personality that makes people dont like her, and she seems to distant everyone. So far only me that understand her and never want her to be lonely.

but she do need to grow up and I will follow your advice. Thanks

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Good luck and keep us posted as to how things are going.