My husband and I were out with some friends 2 weekends ago. We went to dinner and then out for a few drinks afterwards. My husband and I left the bar at about 8:30 pm. 3 other couples and one of our single friends were still there. We went home and went to bed.

The next morning we got a message from our single friend that she got a DWI at 11:30pm. She told officers that she was following MY HUSBAND and I to another local bar. When her ex-husband came to get her from jail she told him the same story. It seems that that is the story she is sticking with. She is telling people how hurt she is because we did not stop to help her, how she thought that we were friends, and pretty much bad mouthing us all through town. We have tried talking to her (as have some of our friends that were with her) to tell her that she remembers the story wrong, that my husband and I were in bed and not even out. But, she is convinced that the DWI is all our fault and she is bound and determined to let everyone know it.

I was just going to let it go, because what are you going to do... but then I came to work and someone at work heard her version of the story and asked me about it. I am concerned because we own our own business, we have 100 employees that work for us and we are VERY careful with the amount of alcohol that we consume. If we ever decide to stay out we always call a cab or have a friend take us home. Other then telling our version of what happened (the truth) is there anything else that we can do? If while in court she names us, could we be held liable?

First, you cannot be held liable, even if her story were true. The only way you might have been responsible if she was at a party at your house and you let her drive home. Since you can prove (you apparently have witnesses) that can testify that you left the bar way before she did, then there is no way you are involved at all.

However, you seem to be afraid her spreading this story can harm your business. So here's what I suggest you do. Have your attorney get depositions from at least 2 of the other people in the party that you left way before she did. Then have him send her a letter warning her to stop spreading this false story or you will be forced to take further legal action. That further action may be a restraining order preventing her from further spreading of this story or a suit for slander (or libel if she has put it in writing).

I am sure that this will blow over. There is no person alive that will go along with her story of blaming you for her getting stopped by the cops. What did she expect you to bribe the cops. Even if you were there why woud you stop and jepordize yourself. She is not a friend. If she was she would not be lying and if she is not she would understand why you didn't stay

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Originally Posted by Parajr

I am sure that this will blow over. There is no person alive that will go along with her story of blaming you for her getting stopped by the cops.

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I must disagree here. This person is obviously not being rational. From the account, she was probably so drunk that she remembers the situation differently from the actual events. She is not lying, she seems to have truly remembered it that way and nothing is going to dissuade her.

While it may, in truth, blow over. It could do irreparable harm to the business before it does. So it needs to be nipped in the bud.

ScottGem is correct... my main concern is our businesses. I have my own daycare and I worry that parents will become concerned (as well they should) if this were true. My husband owns a construction company with 100 employees.

Thank you Scott for your suggestion

It sounds to me like she needs someone to blame for her mistake and you and your husband were easy targets. Take Scott's suggestion and see a lawyer. But be prepared that such action could end your friendship. That is to say, if you would still want to be friends with someone that slanders you like that.

I have seen many people who received DWI's do the same thing your friend is doing. Rest assured that almost nobody takes this sort of rhetoric seriously-- not the police, not the judges, not anyone familiar with people who get DWI's. Take precautions if necessary for your own peace of mind but I very seriously doubt any fallout comes from this, let alone a legal action or even investigation. This is the classic ramblings of someone with a drinking problem proclaiming the alcoholic athem of "Its not my fault. None of it is! Boo hoo I am just a poor victim." It is really that common.

As for your friends, you can suggest they think it through like you have too. Okay... so what if she was supposed to be following you, you didn't force her to be drunk behind the wheel getting stopped by the cops. And supposing you did rush back to help her... what could be done? Nothing but witness the arrest, frankly. I would be regretting her need to blame someone but that's about all I would be doing besides ending the friendship.

Honestly,

She is trying to pass the buck. She got caught with drinking and driving and that is her own responsibility, no one else's.

Just tell your side of the story, but in reality why should anybody believe this other person. Or even take her side of the story. It was her that was driving. No one else.

Joe

I would go with the attorney who would also write a letter demanding her to stop the lies.

Also inform her that any loss of business because of her lies can be her responsibility and she will be sued if she continues.

Tell her personally, to ask her friends what really happened, since she was too drunk to know or is just lying for some reason.

Thanks everyone on the quick responses.

My husband is talking to our lawyer tomorrow about serving her with a letter demanding she stop spreading the lies. I just heard from a mutual friend that she is still being pigheaded about us being there. I guess no matter what she is told she is not going to blame herself for her mistake. However, I hope she is prepared to lose friends over this. We are not the only ones upset by her tirade against us.

Just don't be surprised if the attorney points out that there is little point in a slander suit. It is much more difficult than you may be imagining and the way the judicial system works your DWI friend would need deep pockets to make it worth it for all those involved. It requires that you meet certain aspects of the legal definition and you would have to prove specific loss to either business, which is nearly impossible. And the whole topic is unrelated to any profession, unless of course you were hired as her bodyguard. It falls within the personal range of "she said - we said" and in the long run, I'll bet its suggested that you not recognise it as anything worthy of any further attention. At best, she has (falsely) accused you of being bad friends.

Slander is a big uphill battle for the plaintiff. And very few win. There are first amendment rights here to weigh against your friend's willingness to say bad things about you. If it were that easy, LOL we all would be doing it.

Here is a good perspective to consider concerning the Slippery Slope of Slander Suits.

While I agree with a lot of what Val has said, this is not a case of trying to recover damages, but one of preventing them. If what you have told us is true (and I have no doubts that it is), then you should have no trouble winning a case. With the judgement in hand you can effectively stop her from continue to repeat the lies, because she faces jail or bankruptcy if she does.