Ask Me Help Desk - Is she pregnant?

Okay, this could be me just being paranoid but I'd rather hear other peoples opinions.

My girlfriend and I had unprotected sex, stupid I know, this was around 4-5 weeks ago now. She took the morning after pill within 24 hours and soon after this she experienced light bleeding, spotting, said she was feeling tired, headaches and the sort. Today she had her period, nothing irregular about it, but I have heard that women can still have their period even when they're pregnant, she's also recently said that she is suffering from stomach cramps and back ache, we haven't had a pregnancy test yet as she is stubborn and says she doesn't need too because she knows she isn't pregnant but like I said I'm paranoid so any answers would be appreciated.

First, no, a woman can't have her period during pregnancy. A woman can have bleeding during pregnancy that she mistakes for a period, but that's not a period.

Second, if she's had a period, than it's unlikely that she's pregnant.

As for the stomach aches and back pain, she's on her period, and stomach aches, back pain, bloating, being irritable, etc. etc. is part of the joys of being a woman.

The only way to diagnose pregnancy is with a pregnancy test, but, from what you've written here, I'd say that yes, you're being paranoid. :)

Now comes the lecture. No form of birth control is 100% effective, even if you double up, but you can reduce the odds considerably by using birth control. If you're having unprotected sex, than you're trying to conceive, which means you want her to get pregnant. It only takes a few seconds to put a condom on. The pill isn't that hard to take, and there are shots now that you take every 3 months. You can lower the risks, you can't eliminate them, but what you two are doing right now, well, sooner or later you will be a daddy. If you're not ready for that, than you have to make sure you lower the odds of it happening. This isn't all on her.

Okay, this is re-assuring and I know it's pretty much all on me and trust me I regret not taking the time to take measures. Thank you for replying and the only question I have is that Im assuming she will know the difference between her period and the bleeding she can mistake for a period?

Quote:

Originally Posted by doop212

Okay, this is re-assuring and I know it's pretty much all on me and trust me I regret not taking the time to take measures. Thankyou for replying and the only question I have is that Im assuming she will know the difference between her period and the bleeding she can mistake for a period?

Okay, this is where it gets tricky. A lot of women mistake bleeding during pregnancy as a period. Just watch the show "I didn't know I was pregnant" and be alarmed. But, it's not that common. It's very rare.

You're stressing about something when she's not even stressed about it. Yes, you had unprotected sex, but she took the morning after pill, and she has her period right now. Chances are you dodged the bullet this time. Really.

As for birth control being up to you. No, not at all. You do take responsibility, and if she won't, you have to, to protect yourself. But if you're in a relationship and both of you agree that you're not ready to be parents than birth control is both of your responsibility. She should get on the pill, and you use a condom, always! No matter what! Even then, pregnancy can happen, so if you're really not ready to be a dad, the only way to avoid that with 100% reliability is to not have sex. Those are the facts.

Now, stop stressing. The stress isn't doing you any good, and I'd really be shocked if she ended up being pregnant, based on what you wrote.

Okay?

Okay! The fact she's not stressed has probably made me more so in a way, thank you ever so much for answering and I am definitely not having unprotected sex again until were both ready.

So thank you again for taking the time to address my idiocy and give me some piece of mind!

Quote:

Originally Posted by doop212

Okay! The fact shes not stressed has probably made me more so in a way, thankyou ever so much for answering and I am definitely not having unprotected sex again until were both ready.

So thankyou again for taking the time to address my idiocy and give me some piece of mind!

No problem, and it's not idiocy. It's good that you're concerned. Having sex is more than just pleasure, and the fact that you know this, and know there are possible repercussions, is a good thing. But worrying when all the signs show that you shouldn't, isn't going to do you any good.

Good luck. :)