I was in a long distance relationship for 18 months with my boyfriend our relationship was very passionate and amazing. When we had a chance to be together we would just stay in the bed for 3 or 4 days straight, and then we would not see each other for 2 months or more.

We are finally living together and now he doesn't want to have sex... and I'm not even allowed to talk about the fact that we don't have sex, because he just gets angry and says I'm a slut... (I'm not, but because of the fact I want to have sex with him means, in his head, I'm a slut)

It strange because he seems to want to have sex sometimes but when it comes to it or he takes his pants off, his hard on goes or sometimes he just doesn't get one altogether. He has many excuses for this... some even as crazy as I was thinking of a guy you kissed 5 years ago!! He's becoming more and more jealous... What the heck is going on, the fact I like and want to have sex with him seems to make him feel sick, he makes me feel like I'm disgusting.

I don't know how to handle this situation anymore and I'm too scared to approach him about it.

Well the last time you had sex it was breaking you apart. I think he just doesn't want to lose you. Though calling you a slut is wrong. I think he just wants to wait some more time, he might be worried about the conserquences about sex. I would suggest that you do what is right for you. If your scared of talking about this to him, don't be. He is in a relationship with you so that demads he pays respect to you and will not harm you in anyway physically or mentally.

So he's starting to get verbally abusive. I think he liked having the on again off again relationship that most long distance courtships turn into.

Now that you two have settled down into domestic bliss it is all getting real. As well it is getting harder to hide his true self. Now it isn't that he's a monster but let's look at what he is doing now. You show any sort of sexual desire and he verbally abuses you. He is jealous of your past relationships. That is beyond the statue of limitations for a relationship.

So, now that you see his true colours, or at least have a better view of what his personality is like, do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Continue to throw good money after bad because of 18months that were good?

You said that he has difficulty maintaining an erection. This can be a one time problem that develops into a huge, longterm issue if he focuses on it too much. It sounds to me like he's having doubts about his performance that are feeding his physical problems.

I think the insults and paranoia stem from this. He's worried he doesn't satisfy you, which makes him insecure about your relationship. So he tries to lower your selfconfidence with insults. His insecurity also causes him to constantly worry you'll cheat on him or be comparing him to other men, hence the jealousy.

Given that he handles his insecurities by trying to belittle you, I don't think he's worth fighting to hold onto. However, if you want to try, I suggest you quit asking him for sex or even discussing it for a while. Spend time strengthening your relationship nonsexually and while you do this, work on boosting his ego about his physical self. Let him know how attractive you find him by complimenting those features you particularly like.

This guy sounds like an a**. How long have you been living together now? And how often do you have sex? Or does he lose his erection every time, then blames you, and you end up not having sex?

He never had this problem until you moved in together?

I agree with the above posters that he is showing his true colors now and it sounds like he is starting to verbally abuse you. I would be careful about this guy.

Or do you attack him too and call him names? I'm just asking because it's one thing if you both fight bad and insult each other. But if he is the only one attacking you for no real reason that is a bit scary.