I need advice... does anyone have/had pseudo-friends in their life? I've been close friends with someone for over a decade, they used to be a really sweet person that would never be mean to anyone, but over the past few years I've just noticed things that made me have that not-so-pleasant feeling around them. Or maybe my perspective on life has changed... I've looked after elderly people / with disabilities, people that just need someone to cheer them up & I'm really enjoying life after years of studying.

The feeling that I get is this person finds enjoyment out of finding ways to put me down when I'm in a good mood, which in turn makes them feel good about themselves. They get in an angry mood when I'm really excited that things are going well in my life, & suggest reasons I shouldn't be happy. The awful feeling that I get is I don't think they want me to succeed in life, they would prefer me to have a mediocre life, & not enjoy life. I've also noticed this person constantly finds enjoyment out of finding flaws in other people's appearance, like telling me about people they know with cellulite... I just think it's just a bit shallow. And.. ugg... this person tells guys/male friends that I like them (when I don't/ never met them before) so that they can form a better friendship with them & sometimes date them. Ugg. Would this person be considered a 'pseudo friend'? Anyone suggestions?
Thanks

How's this person's life going? Are they in a particularly bad place right now? Maybe he or she could use some encouragement in their own life right now. Friends (especially guys) measure themselves by one another. If your life is really great right now, and his maybe not so much, maybe he is having some trouble coping with that. You can either write him off or maybe try to help him deal.

There have been a few stressful things happening in her life, but no less than my own. If I feel sad about things in my life, I cheer up elderly people, which helps me feel good. Whereas, when she's feeling down, she tends to repeatedly say mean hurtful things to me to pull herself up. I think I'm at the stage in my life where I have had enough of her treating me like a doormat, & I enjoy being around positive people that are not just focused on themselves, but taking an interest in helping other people and treating others with respect. I think we're just going in different directions.

Here's what I can tell you. I have a best friend of over ten years.. which is like half my life at this point. He's a great friend. I don't think there is anything he wouldn't do for me. And vice versa. But at the same time, we are ultra competitive. Not in a aggressive way, but if he makes an accomplishment I am trying to find level footing as soon as humanly possible. We sort of drive each other this way.

Yet, when things are really bad for him, he has a tendency to lash out, say hurtful things or just behave negatively. Yeah, sure, it can drag me down. Especially, when the fact is that when roles are reversed, the only person I'm tearing down is myself. I guess we're just wired differently. All this being said, he's my best friend, I'd never erase him over one minor fault. I guess that's what friends are for.

If she is frequently negative, you can either work on not letting it get to you or like I said earlier, you can try to help her change her outlook or her habits. If she's a real friend, then she will take it to heart if you brought up the fact that this is bothering you.

Thank you for your comments, they really helped : )

I'm not sure what to do at this stage as this person really hurt me. I call it the jellyfish effect - when someone really hurts you (eg due to their personality trait), it's not so much that you don't care about them/resent them, it's just that the thought of getting potentially stung/hurt again doesn't exactly make me want to hang out with them again.