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-   -   Broke up with my boyfriend. Did I do the right thing? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=710428)

  • Oct 20, 2012, 06:13 AM
    Nyccy
    Broke up with my boyfriend. Did I do the right thing?
    I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months. I love him with all my heart but it just seems that things are not going better. We started as friends, I was not interested in him he wasn't my type. I always cared about him as a friend. He continued to pursue me until finally have him a chance. The more time we spent together I realized I did love him. But from the beginning we would have a little argument. I felt like the beginning I could never please him. I felt like this person he want me to be and the person I actually am were two different people. I feel like I could never say the right things to please him.

    Our fight continued to increase. He'd get upset and he wouldn’t want to see me talk to me. I would give him his space but I was the only one working to try to work it out. Last night I finally asked him if it was something he wanted to workout he couldn’t answer me. He does have a lot going on right now he just found out his mom has breast cancer. I'm trying to be there for him but it seems like he just keeps pushing me away. I lost my own dad 7 years ago so I tried to relate to him. Tells me I have no clue tells me I wasn't close to my family. He tells me that because my dad is not blood I don't understand. I explained to him that my dad raised me from the time I was 3. He tells me it doesn't compare that I don't understand.

    Our latest argument was because he had been planning on going with me to a fundraiser I was organizing. It meant a lot to me that he is there. I love him I want to share those important moments with him. While Monday he told me he would not be going because they were celebrating his brothers birthday then and he was going back home. I was not upset at him just disappointed that he would not be there so the only thing I could get out was "okay." He got so upset he has not talked to me all week. He told me I didn't react the way he wanted. And I was selfish and did not have a right to being sad and disappointed.

    I know he is going through a lot but I'm I wrong for my feelings. I'm not disappointed in him just the situation. I asked if he wanted to make this work. He couldn't answer. So I broke up with him. Am I wrong? How do I get through this?
  • Oct 20, 2012, 06:20 AM
    teacherjenn4
    Overall, it sounds like you two had a lot of problems. From what you said, it also seems like you could never be the girlfriend he wanted. He has a lot going on right now, so he definitely needs his space. I would take the time to work on spending some time alone. You didn't love him, so be a supportive friend if he needs you, not his girlfriend.
  • Oct 20, 2012, 08:12 PM
    talaniman
    I think you acknowledge you tried, and gave him a chance and for whatever reason it didn't work, you leave him alone and heal your wounds without each other. Maybe later you can be friends, but for now its to miserable for you both.

    Break ups happen, and they are hard. But it will get better. It was hard I know, but you did what you had to do for yourself.

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