OK people I need your help!

The past year for me has been a bit of a dream. I started talking to a guy from work, he got my number and has text me everyday since. At first I was undecided as he had two sides (a really nice side that I have got to know really well) and also a side that he has in work, which I don't particularly like as he can have a bad attitude at times (basically its called showing off in front off his mates!) I am 18, he is 21.

So he texts me a lot, whenever we see each other in work which isn't all that often, as I am only part time we talk and have a laugh and I see his nice side shinin through. He says he really cares about me, and whenever we do talk he always looks at me like stares into my eyes and just smiles.

He asked me on a date around christmas time 2006, I actually turned him down, as I am worried about going into a relationship and I just didn't feel really then, it hurt him a lot apparently, but he never stopped textin me, he asked again in feb and again I said no.

However this past month and a bit, has been really different, his text style changed like now he always says hey babe, or your beautiful or princess etc. and he always looks out for me and protects me. When I see him his face just lights up and I can see his pupils dilating, if we are out socialising with other people from work, he always talks to me and he will put his arm round me and things.

So I have told you the situation I now have some questions...

- does this sound like he is really interested in me?

(it worries me from the fact that he has had about 5 or 6 other relationships with work people in the past, and I think well is playing a number game? But then I think, well maybe not, maybe they didn't work out, and after all he sees a lot of people in work as they will be his friends, and he will get to know them, just as he has don't with me!)

But then I also think... is all the above too false? Could he be a player? But then I think to myself well no, if he didn't like me, would he really come running back to me every time I turn him down?

I know I didn't feel like I wanted to date him, but now I do, but I fear something inside is telling me not to, but then I wonder if that is just anxiety because I do get ver worried and I have never been in a relationship before, therefore I fear I would never be good enough for him.

Please help me!

Okay, Now everybody will have a different opinion on answering your question.

I personally think what do you have to lose. Why not take the risk. You will never really know the outcome, but why not just take that chanch and see where it might go. No guarantees with anything. Just remember that, but say if you decide to go for it. Enjoy the time you may have with each other. No matter how long it may last?

As far as interest, are you sleeping or what. Of course, he is interested in you. Why else would he smile, look at your eyes, light up. If this fact has not hit you yet, your slow to the take.

Hope this helps out, so if you feel like your ready now go for it. I will be cheering you on and hoping for the best. Somebody does not light up, smile, test a lot because they do not like you, they do those things because they are truly interested.

Joe

Thank you joe,

I see hwer you are coming from, and yes I do think he is interested, but as I said I'm a BIGTIME worrier, and it just makes me think like well what if it was an act? But surely he must be otherwise surely he would have got bored and sacked me off, especially after I turned him down? But what I can't understand is that we are the complete opposite for each other! I really like him, but half of me thinks well what are others going to think, especially those in work, work is just a place for to gossip, but then I guess I shouldn't let that bother me, if this is something I want, well we both want, at the end of the day I think I will just have to tell people to mind their own business and stay out of our private lives. Is it normal that although I really like the guy, I'm worried about everything because I have never been in a relationship before?

Yes, it is normal to be worried. Especially when everything is new. Believe me I personally am a worrier myself but soon you will realize that worrying will not change anything no matter what happens. Worry can actually cause you not to get anywhere in life. Take the chanch, and most likely there will be gossip there will be some problems but you know what it is how you and this other person deals with conflict that will matter the most.If you learn how to deal with things together.

To anyone in a similar situation to me.. READ THIS EVEN IF IT TAKES AN HOUR!
I feel a lot more confident now, and I can really see that many of these apply to my situation! So fingers crossed he really is interested and not just messin around!


--Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!
(oh yeah.. you're not "popular" if you've slept with
More than 5 guys.. you're a HOE)

--"Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~
Two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on
The phone.

--Guys may be flirting around all day but before they
Go to sleep, they always think about the girl they
Truly care about.

--Before they call, guys try to plan out a little
About what they're going to say so there aren't awkward
Pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all
And makes it up as he goes.

--Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

--Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

--Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend
Or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the
Let-her-complain-to-you-an
d-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nic
e-you-are
Method.

--A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you
Talk to.

--Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're
Still loved.

--Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

--Guys get jealous easily.

--Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to
Think.

--Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know
what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a
Conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And
He'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess
About it trying to figure it out.

--Guys are good flatterers when courting but they
Usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really
Like.

--Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls
Presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their
Lunch money for a week. But it never works because
Guys are always hungry so they end up asking the
Parents for money anyway.

--Girls are guys' weaknesses.

--Guys are very open about themselves.

--It's good to test a guy first before you trust him.
But don't let him wait too long.

--Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help
From about his problems with you may end up being
Admired by your boyfriend.

--If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs
Someone to listen to him. You don't need to give
Advice.

**--**A usual act that proves that the guy likes you
Is when he teases you.--**--

--Guys love you more than you love them if they are
Serious in your relationships.

--Guys will brag about anything.

--Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls.
We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes
You a whole hell of a lot.

--Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl
Does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy
Think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it
Meant.

--Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys.
Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's
Confused, then we're all confused.

--Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book
For flirting, but no guy can write out a book about
Relationships.

--Try to be as straightforward as possible.

--A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
Too-good-never-been-busted
, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and
Grown up.

--If the guy does something stupid in front of the
Girl, he will think about it for the next couple days
Or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

****No matter how much guys talk about asses and
Boobs, personality is key.

--Guys learn from experience not from the romance
Books that girls read and take as their basis of
Experience.

****Guys worry about the thin line between being
Compassionate and being whipped.

--If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's
Probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

--When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he
Really is. Guys rarely say that.

--When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just
Actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

--Guys don't really have final decisions.

--If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It
Doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know
Something's up.

--If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is
Never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's
Probably jealous and likes you.

--When a guy looks at you for longer than a second,
He's definitely thinking something.

--Guys like femininity not feebleness.

--Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

--A guy has more problems than you can see with your
Naked eyes.

--Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up
Easily.

--Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear
Perfume. Just not too much.

--Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about
Guys.

--Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even
More.

--Guys really think that girls are strange and have
Unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but
Somehow are drawn even more to them.

--A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a
Girl's mind for a day.

--No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's
Just too stubborn to admit it.

--Not all guys are s. Just because ONE is a
Jackass doesn't mean he represents ALL of us.

--We don't like girls who are too skinny.

--We love it when girls talk about there boobs.

--Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your
Getting into before making out with a guy... like
Wheather it's a one time deal or not...

--Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to
Talk to.. it may not seem right but trust me they will
Start opening up like books after you just ask them
Questions about their lives and unoticable tell them
About yours...

--When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you
Sexually

--Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the
Ribs..

--Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it
.. it means that he really likes you or his neck really
Hurts...

--Guys will test the waters to see how far they can
Get with you. Even if he doesn't intend to it will
Happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and
He will respect that... after you let him know a couple
Times.

--When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to
Be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with
You as much as possible.

OK. I think he does like you and have an interest I you because you have turned him down twice and he is still persistent. He is starting to pay more attention to you as a person and includes you in social conversations. You said you were afraid of getting into a serious relationship with him, but this guy seems to really like you so I guess one date wouldn't really hurt much. I say go for it girl.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by boyissues

ok people i need your help!

the past year for me has been a bit of a dream. i started talking to a guy from work, he got my number and has text me everyday since. at first i was undecided as he had two sides (a really nice side that i have got to know really well) and also a side that he has in work, which i don't particularly like as he can hav a bad attitude at times (basically its called showing off in front off his mates!) i am 18, he is 21.

so he texts me a lot, whenever we see each other in work which isnt all that often, as i am only part time we talk and have a laugh and i see his nice side shinin through. he says he really cares about me, and whenever we do talk he always looks at me like stares into my eyes and just smiles.

he asked me on a date around christmas time 2006, i actually turned him down, as i am worried about going into a relationship and i just didnt feel realy then, it hurt him a lot apparently, but he never stopped textin me, he asked again in feb and again i said no.

however this past month and a bit, has jus been really different, his text style changed like now he always says hey babe, or ur beautiful or princess etc. and he always looks out for me and protects me. when i see him his face just lights up and i can see his pupils dilating, if we are out socialising with other people from work, he always talks to me and he will put his arm round me and things.

so i have told you the situation i now have some questions...

- does this sound like he is really interested in me?

(it worries me from the fact that he has had about 5 or 6 other relationships with work people in the past, and i think well is playing a number game? but then i think, well maybe not, maybe they jus didnt work out, and afterall he sees a lot of people in work as they will be his friends, and he will get to know them, just as he has dont with me!)

but then i also think... is all the above too false? could he be a player? but then i think to myself well no, if he didnt like me, would he really come running back to me everytime i turn him down?

i know i didnt feel like i wanted to date him, but now i do, but i fear something inside is telling me not to, but then i wonder if that is just anxiety because i do get ver worried and i have never been in a relationship before, therefore i fear i would never be good enough for him.

please help me!

---

Youask him out! It will delight him! And boost his confidence! He ,may not ask u again because u knocked him twice but this time YOU pluck up the confidence and do it ! Good luck to the both of you!

Thanks so much for your helps guyes, you have really boosted my confidence!
He knows full well I like him, and I think I've made that obvious from the start, the fact he came running back.
I have a few more questions for anyone to answer if that is OK...

1. he has started sending me all these really sweet texts full of compliments, and I never know what to say back usually I say "awww thank u" but does anyone know of anything I could say to him, such as what to call a lad, as he always calls me baby or babe, or beebee or something.

2. last night I went to his for the first time, with 4 other lads, and they were playing on the computer, and me and him were sat on his bed, he kept trying to get closer to me, and at one stage I'm sure he managed to twist his body round so his legs were touching my back, he then kept tapping my shoulder. Is getting close and trying to touch (in a non sexual way) another sign he could like me?

3. is it true that opposites attract? And even though I have heard this saying, do you reckon they can be successful together? As I don't just want to attract!

Thanks again, I really appreciate all this help, as I do not really have anyone to talk to about all this!

My biggest concern is that you already have seen his two sides - beware of that - it could well come into play as your relationship progresses.

This is a big worry to me, and I feel this is partly the reason I am so undecided, but could he really show so much interest in me and treat me so well for a year and then show a different side in a relationship? Is this something I could talk to him about if we were to have an open conversation with each other.. which would have to be done anyway? But is that something I could ask without being seen as being out of order? Too many people judge him from his other side, however I feel deep down that this is just a show, and that he is too heavily influenced by the music he listens to, I feel that I have got to know his real side, but could that be an act for me?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by boyissues

could he really show so much interest in me and treat me so well for a year and then show a different side in a relationship?

---

Of course he could. It's the thrill of the chase, wanting what he can't have and all the rest of it. I think he's a player and you're right to be reluctant. Of course, your reluctance just makes him want it all the more.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by boyissues

i feel that i have got to know his real side, but could that be an act for me?

---

You bet it could. I'd put the odds at about 80/20 that's exacxtly what it is.

He Wants 2 Go Out With Ya But If He Starts Touching U In A Way U Don't Want Then!! keep Away!! He Just Wants 2 Show His Love 4 U. Ask Him Out Good Luck!