About two years ago before me and my husband was even engaged. He made a mistake and cheated on me. Well I know it's an old situation, but I forgave him to give him a chance, I told the girl I would forgive her if shed admit it and quit lying and she cussed me out.. I told myself from here on out I won't forgive her unless she apologizes.. and I treated her badly and tortured her.. but now I'm married and about a month ago I said well I need to let go of the old things and move on freshly and I want to forgive her in hopes of letting go I grew tired of the grudges.. but I still feel unaccomplished because her mom makes it hard to forgive,she stares and talks about us like a dog! also cause she thinks her daughter don't make mistakes"now her daughters pregnant so yea she does" .I feel it eatting at me and the only thing that comes to mind is that I actually message her and tell her personally that I do for give her in hopes to feel better then to have something burry deep down of guilt.. Would it be the best thing to do? Should I get rid of the guilt if I go with my gutt and apologize personally? Maybe it can start a new terms cause I know she's pregnant and very much in love and straightened up.. and personally I wouldn't wish her the pain I was put through that happened to me.. I want to wish her the best in life without having to look like I'm disgusted with her now and I finally realize I don't.

Look forgive and forget I've had a lot of grudges and I'm just 13 almost 14 but just forgive her and let it go

You have forgiven her. Why are you chasing after her and pounding it over her head?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You have forgiven her. Why are you chasing after her and pounding it over her head?

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This was back when I was in school.. I didn't forgive her then I made it know I didn't like her.. I don't do it anymore..
Im graduated and married now and I said I need to just let go and I feel like I can't forgive unless I let her know because they don't know I feel that way now and probably will keep doing what they do unless I let them know different that they really don't know me because I only let my anger express in front of them and I'm tired of the anger I feel I will only let go if I tell them her so we can go with our differences..

Here's the funny thing about forgiveness, it's rarely about the other person, it's usually about us.

You don't need to contact her to forgive her and move on with your life. You want to contact her because you expect something from her, which means that you really haven't forgiven her.

Fact is, she probably won't accept your forgiveness any more than she was willing to accept her part in the betrayal. You most likely won't get the closure you obviously need.

If you really want to forgive her so that you can move on, that doesn't require you to contact her. You forgive her in your heart, and you move on with your life.

So ask yourself what you really want, and be honest. Do you want to forgive her and move on, or do you want her to ask for forgiveness and give you the vindication that she didn't give you years ago?