I am 24 years old Indian lady who has been married for 5 years. Ours is a love arranged marriage in a sense tat I had to struggle to convince my parents and relatives to agree to the marriage. Also my husband is 12 years elder to me. We have 2 and a half years old daughter.My problem is our marriage is falling apart.
During courtship, he was a loving and understanding man but now he has become another person altogether.He doesn't like me to go for work, as he is bothered about our daughter. He wants me to stay at home, even got excuses for that by saying" you are not only a mother who stays at home". I spend the whole day at home with our kid,since he leaves at 5:45am and comes back late in the evening/nite. When home he hardly speaks to me and doesnot involve me in any decision-making. He prefers watching T.V after he retunrs home but he do play with our kid before bed. Hardly one or two hrs he is at home before he sleeps. Now a days I noticed that he loves to go out and spend time with his cousins who are more like his best friends, and they do have their own secrets and fun too. Recently, what bothers me too much is he started going to dancing bars. I am not able to tolerate the thought of him enjoying the dance of those semi nude beautiful girls! When I try to talk to him about our problems, he simply walks away or accuses me of being a whiner and give a big lecture of how stupid wives are in a sense that we are not understanding them also shouts at me for being doubtful. There were so many times he humiliates me in public and even in front of my own people. He acknowledges that our marriage is falling apart but does not want us to work on it; in fact even if we had decided on something, he will not follow and will have million excuses too for breaking a promise! Now a days, I started arguing and crying in front of him, but these doesn't made any changes. I feel very alone in my own sufferings. Sometimes I entertain drastic thoughts, now a days it is getting worse! I have friends to talk about but I don't like nyone to label him as a bad guy. I was in madly in love with him, but not anymore... infact I still love him. I am deeply troubled by my inability to reach out to him. The sad thing is I cannot go back home nw since my parents were not happy about our marrige in the first place. I am afraid that they will say, "We told you so..." To make things worse, I am brought up in a very loving environment with lots of loving people around me. Now all I want is to convince him that I love him and I need his commitment and support to make our relationship work. What should I do?