Ask Me Help Desk - Broken 10 years relationship.. Help!!

My friend and her boyfriend had relationship for 10 years and she has fought a lot with her family to make them accept.. He is 10 years elder to her too.. They were so much in love that even I used to wonder whether somebody can be so involved as they are.. Their marriage got fixed recently, not engaged.. I was so happy for her..

But suddenly the guy withdrew and says that they're not compatible according to astrology, which he had not believed much before.. I felt that he was trying to escape out of this.. But when I spoke to him twice he said that he didn't wanto lose her but since this is what the astrologer says he can't help it.. I tried to convince him n he agreed upon finding a solution.. But later on he completely left her.. I could not speak to him much, due to my limitations.. Moreover he is not my direct friend, I know him only via her..

She is completely shattered and attempted for suicide once.. I'm so scared now.. Angry with him to the core too.. Since we both are in two different places right now, I'm feeling so bad that I'm not even able to console her or help her.. Her cry over the phone made me too cry.. I can understand how badly it pains.. I want him too to suffer.. I have asked her to be brave n not to lose hope.. Is there any advice that I can give her, because she has completely lost faith in love and marriages..

Also is there anything she can do in order to punish him? If it was me, then I'd have put him behind the bars..

No, not good to find ways to punish him. Her mental occupation with punishment will only hurt her, not him. His life without her and her love is his punishment.

If he is so petty and shallow, she is better off without him. I know how much astrology is valued by many in your country, but why is he suddenly convinced this is valuable? I'm thinking he was looking for a way out of the relationship -- more shallowness, more pettiness to use this as his way out instead of being honest with her.

She has been saved from a life of misery with him.

Even I told her the same thing.. he has been saved from him.. If he really wanted to leave her, why didn't he do so at an earlier stage? I don't understand why he played with her emotions, dragged till marriage and then ditched her.. It was so insane.. And I don't think that this would punish him because if he was so concerned about her then he won't have left her.. He is around 35+ and I really don't understand and his explanations are unbelieveable and senseless.. He won't even get a good young girl at this stage.. It sounded so strange to me.. I think he must be really punished by some way or the other..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No, not good to find ways to punish him. Her mental occupation with punishment will only hurt her, not him. His life without her and her love is his punishment.

If he is so petty and shallow, she is better off without him. I know how much astrology is valued by many in your country, but why is he suddenly convinced this is valuable? I'm thinking he was looking for a way out of the relationship -- more shallowness, more pettiness to use this as his way out instead of being honest with her.

She has been saved from a life of misery with him.

Even I told her the same thing.. he has been saved from him.. If he really wanted to leave her, why didn't he do so at an earlier stage? I don't understand why he played with her emotions, dragged till marriage and then ditched her.. It was so insane.. And I don't think that this would punish him because if he was so concerned about her then he won't have left her.. He is around 35+ and I really don't understand and his explanations are unbelieveable and senseless.. He won't even get a good young girl at this stage.. It sounded so strange to me.. I think he must be really punished by some way or the other..

Maybe he has a serious or fatal illness and cannot bear to tell her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Maybe he has a serious or fatal illness and cannot bear to tell her.

But isn't it better to express than hiding.. She is willing to support him whatever his pblm is.. I don't think that's the reason because he kept telling her to wait for some more time.. By the time things will be clear he will let her know.. But how long will that take.. No clue... But finally he left her, saying that she is not of that kind which he wishes to marry!! Now she is devastated and calls me up everyday saying she can't frget him, what to do what to do.. I'm not able to answer her.. I don't have an answer :(

And he has wasted many of her productive years. Shame on him! Is the astrology reading true?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And he has wasted many of her productive years. Shame on him! Is the astrology reading true?

Noway.. I too believe in astrology, but not after a certain extent.. Everything's got a limit.. I believe that in astrology they have solutions too for pblms.. He didn't propose her seeing the horoscope compatibility, nor started the relationship with this.. Now after 10 years, what the heck is he doing... Its so annoying.. What else does a girl need more than this to commit suicide.. Imagine, after informing all your family members that you're getting married to this person whom you loved for 10 years and finally calling off the marriage..