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Do women say things they may not mean ("I love you" I've never connected with anyone like you before" etc... ) because of some kind effect sex has on them? And if so how do you decipher between what they say and what they mean when it comes to matters of the heart after sex?
That is why it is very important to spend quality time with somebody, and get to know somebody as friends first before having a sexual relationship. To truly get to know someone and then you get to know each others true feelings. If things continue and progress and the words and emotions of love develop then you know it is something special then you grow in other areas. That is the problem of today, Many people jump and skip over important steps and then they wonder if it is true love or not.
So to summerize. You should know how she feels about you before having sex, then you will not be wondering this.
Joe
Nothing to add, I ditto Jesushelper's answer which in my opinion was spot on..
When you take your time to get to know someone, you can tell if they are sincere or not. That's why we say GO SLOW! JH is right as it seems people just rush in and skip the necessary steps of getting to know someone before they throw their whole heart into them.
I wudnt personally but I no men that have!! X
Interesting...Quote:
Originally Posted by mrsmoz
If I was a woman and a man said he loved me after sex, I would be very suspicious.
and vice versa to this
I am a man and if a woman told me she loved me after sex, I would be suspicious and confused.
Although I think love and sex are a compatible match, I think that expressions of how you feel about someone in a verbal sense should be out of the bed (so to speak)..
Then again, there are no hard and fast rules just so long as you are 100% sure that what is being said is true and genuine..
The only way to determine this is to go slow and get to know the other person before engaging in physical intimacy.
The odds are that most relationships are going to end.
And 50% of legally committed relationships are going to end.
So, the "L" word (no, not the 7 letter one :-) is often going to be a casualty.
When it pops out after sex, take it for what it is. A nice cherry on the sundae.
But not your full daily nutritional requirement.
Falling in and out of love, and getting our A-- handed to us is a part of life.
Especially a young life... We are supposed to learn lessons as we get older (THEORETICALLY) - but love doesn't have the same rules as anything else in life. It's got all it's own... Which can be great and a 4-star bummer at the same time.
So, what do we do? Well, that's what determines our character I suppose...
We must collect the info we get in life to hopefully get "better" each time. But it's not EZ!
LOVE is something that hopefully you'll feel out of the bedroom in equal parts to in the bedroom. But nature has given us a biological imperative to "fall in love" and man does it feel good... it feels even better when we're intimate. So, how do we stack the odds in our favor?
LIVE, LOVE AND... LEARN. And try to ask yourself some tough questions BEFORE you've had sex and are saying "I love you" and basically forgetting what, if any concerns, you had about the person before you stripped 'em naked. Things CHANGE after that - unless you never see them again...
The truth is if you are real friends first (respect and helpeful friends) that "Love word" may mean something more. When it's sighed after sex, i would say it is not to be taken all the way to heart, until it can be said with sincerity outside the bedroom.
Ok, I hope the odds for ALL of us are getting better. This forum should be helping right? :-)
PS - that was my 69th post. Kind of ironic on a relationship forum, don't ya think :-)
Love and sex are two different things. It's amazing how many people sleep with someone and then are surprised it didn't mean anything to the other person. I don't think you can trust what anyone says unless it's backed up by action over a period. Saying something once and then following up once isn't trust but if a person says something and consistentently backs it up or acts consistent over time then they can be taken at there word.
Women have a tendency to confuse love with sex - more so than a man. So yes, sex may have an "effect" of sorts that may lead them to say things they really don't mean. As far as "deciphering" between what they mean and what they say, remember that actions speak louder than words.
Mostly men replying here apart from"i wudnt personally but I no men that hav!!!!!!!! x"
Which I agree with, I don't know any girl(and I have lots and lots of varying kinds of female friends) who would say that without meaning it.
What happened after that? Why do you ask this actual question?
What is the whole situation here? Is she already in a relationship?
Quote:
Originally Posted by rol
It's a long story, I've posted it as a different question. She basically said a lot to lead me on but then when it came time to make a choice she betrayed me.
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