My partner and I were living in together for a couple of months now his not sweet even before,but I thought its because he is tired every time we meet. but now we share same bed but if I wasn't cruddle him he wudnt cruddle me.. I don't know what is inside his mind,I know he appriciate me being here in the house but he never told me he love me,he is so different.I want our relationship to work well what will I do? one more thing he has a son frm his ex.more often they talk I understand why they need to talk but everythime it happends I'm jealous and I pity myself because I know I can't have my own child.I love my partner that's why I did my best to understand him,but I need him too,how will I tell him that I'm here and I need him?

It appears he's just not an affectionate person and you knew this from the start. You may have to learn to deal with it if you can't leave him because I doubt he'll ever change.

Many men aren't affectionate and demonstrative of feelings. You aren't married, don't have children, maybe you should think about this relationship lasting or not. If you like everything else about him, try to accept the fact that he seems to love you, and find a full life outside of what you have with him - friends, family, hobbies, courses, jobs, new skills. Having a full life gives you more to talk about when you are with him, makes you more interesting, and helps you not dwell on affection as much.
As for cuddling... there's nothing wrong with being the one who snuggles in for sleep. If he isn't showing interest in sex, it probably has nothing to do with you, but things like financial worries or stress from work.

I know he is not an affectionate person but I do assume he will change bcoz I lead the way,sometimes I really wanted to hug him and kiss him before he go to work but I hold on to what I want to do because he might be mad if I do it.. now I really had this negative thoughts towards him which I know he wudnt do but what if he did?. I really love him and leaving him is not a solution,how can I let him know I have needs and I need him...

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Originally Posted by joypulv

Many men aren't affectionate and demonstrative of feelings. You aren't married, don't have children, maybe you should think about this relationship lasting or not. If you like everything else about him, try to accept the fact that he seems to love you, and find a full life outside of what you have with him - friends, family, hobbies, courses, jobs, new skills. Having a full life gives you more to talk about when you are with him, makes you more interesting, and helps you not dwell on affection as much.
As for cuddling... there's nothing wrong with being the one who snuggles in for sleep. If he isn't showing interest in sex, it probably has nothing to do with you, but things like financial worries or stress from work.

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Money and work is not a problem to him...

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Originally Posted by mheg

how can i let him know i have needs and i need him...

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You need to communicate with him, communication is key in a relationship. Don't expect him to change though, so if leaving isn't a solution then you're going to have to put up with him not being affectionate.

Negative thoughts, as in you suspect that he is involved or just interested in another woman, perhaps his ex? Or that he will just break up with you and make you leave?

What I'm worried about is your desperation. Wanting to hug and kiss before he goes to work is asking too much. If you start getting needy and clinging and suspicious, he is going to get more withdrawn. You could be bringing this all on yourself. If he won't sit down and talk about affection with you (not in bed, some other quiet time when you can control your emotions), then you really do need to think about moving out and finding someone new.
There's something about how you write that makes you sound like you just wait for him all day, and don't have a life.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

Negative thoughts, as in you suspect that he is involved or just interested in another woman, perhaps his ex? Or that he will just break up with you and make you leave?

What I'm worried about is your desperation. Wanting to hug and kiss before he goes to work is asking too much. If you start getting needy and clinging and suspicious, he is going to get more withdrawn. You could be bringing this all on yourself. If he won't sit down and talk about affection with you (not in bed, some other quiet time when you can control your emotions), then you really do need to think about moving out and finding someone new.
There's something about how you write that makes you sound like you just wait for him all day, and don't have a life.

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Yes I give up my work just to be here all because he wants me to be here and take care of him,and I think this is the right time for us to live together since getting merried is not in our plans.. im not bored being alone in the house but I more missed him,we talk about this many times and he said I should learn how to read between the line.. what does he mean?. I know he love me bcoz even at his work place he used to call me many times a day just to know I'm OK... and he share to me what ever happens at work... we are OK but yeah this past few days I am being needy and clingy..

No, I do not see this as a good relationship, a women should not be giving up her work but should still have her own life and friends, I see this more of his controlling you and isolating you from others.

And what is there to take care of, he is grown and he goes to work.

But you are dreaming that you will change him, in fact it is you being changed by him. And we shouldnot go into a relationship expecting someone to change

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

No, I do not see this as a good relationship, a women should not be giving up her work but should still have her own life and friends, I see this more of his controling you and isolating you from others.

And what is there to take care of, he is grown and he goes to work.

But you are dreaming that you will change him, in fact it is you being changed by him. And we shouldnot go into a relationship expecting someone to change

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Hi actaully his not controlling me when he suggest what if we stay togeher here in his place for us to get more closer I thihk about it 1st,but his house is far from where I stay and where I work so when I agreed to move in here I need to give up my work too. but still he incourage me to find a new job here since ill be staying here as long as I want,and for me to not being so bored during the day couse I stay in the house alone while he is at his work... im looking forward to that...

Thanks you to all the people out there who help me answer some of my questions, it help me yeah, I will talk to him again about this issue... thanks everyone and god blessed us all:)