Ask Me Help Desk - I want my ex back

We dated for 9 months, broke up for 5 and then we've kind of been really close still. I love him so much with all my heart and I can't see myself being with anybody else, I've known him for about 2 and a half years. I've tried to get over him but nothings worked. I love him and he says that he loves me too. He even calls me his wife, but the thing is that we're not officially dating. Its like, when no1's around we do everything that couples do, hold hands, kiss, have sex and stuff. But he kind of doesn't want people knowing. Especially his best friend. He doesn't mind me telling my best friend or my family though. My family love him and his family loves me. Its almost like a match made in heaven, its just, I can't call him mine. I can't say he's my boyfriend. But that's the thing I want more than anything else. Sometimes I think maybe its because he's ashamed of me. I don't know what to do. I want him to want me badly. I want him to be mine again. I've tried asking him before but he says it may ruin the relationship we have rite now. What should I do

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Originally Posted by cocoanemo

we dated for 9 months, broke up for 5 and then we've kinda been really close still. i love him so much with all my heart and i can't see myself being with anybody else, i've known him for about 2 and a half years. i've tried to get over him but nothings worked. i love him and he says that he loves me too. he even calls me his wife, but the thing is that we're not officially dating. Its like, wen no1's around we do everything that couples do, hold hands, kiss, have sex and stuff. but he kinda doesnt want people knowing. especially his best friend. he doesnt mind me tellin my best friend or my family though. my family love him and his family loves me. its almost like a match made in heaven, its just, i can't call him mine. I can't say he's my boyfriend. But thats the thing i want more than anything else. Sometimes i think maybe its because he's ashamed of me. i dont know wat to do. i want him to want me badly. i want him to be mine again. i've tried askin him b4 but he says it may ruin the relationship we have rite now. wat should i do

Clearly it sounds as if he's hiding you. Either get him to come commit, or stop giving it up. He could be dating someone else or like you said ashamed of you. Why else could you not tell anyone, or be seen doing things like that. I would not let him use you. You sound like a good person, and he should respect you.

Sure sounds like your still together, even though the secret lover game is a mystery to me. If it bothers you, why haven't you expressed those feelings, and why are you going along with it? Ain't that much love in the world that can make you live in the closet!! This doesn't sound like a healthy, nurturing relationship at all. You need to reevaluate your own values and self respect.