I am married for 6 months now but unable to have intercourse properly till now.

The problems I faced till now are quite strange. I found her vagina to tight to push my penis in. So I started with the finger I can use two fingers with Her but its still very painful for her.

When we perform oral sex my wife has an orgasm just within minutes and she has no energy left for anything else. (She likes oral sex more then intercourse)

When ever we try intercourse its her pain which stops me from trying to push in.

PS - We both never had sex before marriage

I don't mean to be disrespectful, but are you sure you're putting it in the right hole?

I would go to see a doctor about this. It could be that you haven't penetrated her enough to break her hymen and that is what she is feeling. It could also be that she has a physiological problem that prevents penetration. That is unlikely.

A women's vagina has the capacity to pass a child through, it should be able to fit your penis. Could also be a lack of lube or foreplay that is hindering as well. It is hard to penetrate a woman who is bone dry. Invest in some lube and more time on foreplay.

This is definitely something I would talk to a doctor about, Ensure that there is nothing wrong.

Thanks for the quick reply. Yes I am trying the right hole. We love each other very much and we do foreplay hugs kisses. She is more desperate for sex then me. There is enough lubrication which I can feel through my finger.
Can weakness be also a reason for this. She often complaint about body aches head aches and during her periods she doesn't even work but just do rest.
And also is it normal for a girl to reach orgasm within minutes of oral sex and she has no energy left after climax she just wants to hug me and sleep.

We are seeing doctor but got appointment after 2 weeks.

There really isn't a normal when it comes to a woman and orgasm. That sounds a little quick, but if a proper amount of foreplay is used than that isn't abnormal.

This might be indicitive of more serious problems. I won't speculate but the visit to the doctor should let you know what is going on. Just remember that the doctor has heard it all at this point and to be honest and upfront with the problem. It might be embarrassing but he will help you through.

No, this is not normal and you guys should see a doctor. Especially if she has all those other symptoms. It sounds to me as if it hurt the first time and she is now scared and tenses up. The vaginal muscles are very strong and if she tenses up then it can be painful.

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Originally Posted by momknowsbest

No, this is not normal and you guys should see a doctor. Especially if she has all those other symptoms. It sounds to me as if it hurt the first time and she is now scared and tenses up. The vaginal muscles are very strong and if she tenses up then it can be painful.

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K... OP asked if it was normal for her to orgasm that quickly along with her feeling tired afterwards. That was his question that I am guessing you said no to?

Well, I disagree with your "no". I agree with Craven. "There really isn't a normal."

I am a woman who has had many orgasms from oral. Sometimes it would take a few minutes, and others... a matter of seconds. I was with a lover who could make me orgasm in 25 seconds. Yes. We timed it. Why? Because it became comical. Yes. It IS normal to reach orgasm fast. Now, feeling tired after?. It all depends... How long is your foreplay lasting? How late at night are you pursuing her?

As for the pain? That I would have checked out.

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Originally Posted by momknowsbest

No, this is not normal and you guys should see a doctor. Especially if she has all those other symptoms. It sounds to me as if it hurt the first time and she is now scared and tenses up. The vaginal muscles are very strong and if she tenses up then it can be painful.

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I respectfully disagree. They're both virgins for the first time, and it sounds like the situation was approached in a loving and gentle way.

A previous Ex-Gf of mine had some muscle issues in the pelvic floor area. It was a type of Vulvodynia, specifically Vulvar Vestibulitis. What had happened is that the muscles seized every time anything would penetrate her. The nerve endings would interpret this as pain and not pleasure. No matter how much lube I used it wouldn't help. Through physiothearpy the problem was reasonably corrected, but it never fully healed itself. She wasn't even closed to being considered a virgin at that point.

What is being described here do not follow symptoms of muscular spasms.

Considering the username I would also suggest that the original poster is from a country where sexual health and education isn't taught in school. They have to sort it out on their own. Considering their potential ignorance, it could be as simple as he has not broken her hymen yet. Could be a congential defect in her vaginal canal, which is unlikely.

Her period symptoms, and non-period, show a possible hormonal problem but that is hard ot diagnose with five lines through a post on a anonymous help desk.

I do agree a doctor trip is required but there is no need to scare them.

No my no wasn't to is it normal to orgasm quickly- my no was to should it hurt to have sex. It should not hurt to have sex. Having an orgasm quickly is very common and therefore normal.

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

What is being described here do not follow symptoms of muscular spasms.

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I disagree. I think it could definitely be pelvic floor muscle spasms. I had the same problem/ symptoms as the OP's wife. It was too painful for my husband to penetrate me. I was so tight he literally couldn't push his penis in. It took me 6 months of pelvic floor physical therapy to be able to have sex. I don't see why the OP wife isn't in the same situation as I was, or your ex girlfriend.

Of course it could be something else, but muscular spasms, vulvar vestibulitis, vulvadynia is worth looking into.

In my experience though, it's hard to find a gynecologist that is really knowledgeable about those type of problems. It took me a long time to find one. But they can always rule out other problems like infections, endometriosis, cancer, etc.

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Originally Posted by greentree30

I disagree. I think it could definitely be pelvic floor muscle spasms. I had the same problem/ symptoms as the OP's wife. It was too painful for my husband to penetrate me. I was so tight he literally couldn't push his penis in. It took me 6 months of pelvic floor physical therapy to be able to have sex. I don't see why the OP wife isn't in the same situation as I was, or your ex girlfriend.

Of course it could be something else, but muscular spasms, vulvar vestibulitis, vulvadynia is worth looking into.

In my experience though, it's hard to find a gynecologist that is really knowledgeable about those type of problems. It took me a long time to find one. But they can always rule out other problems like infections, endometriosis, cancer, etc.

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I reason I would shy away from this is that the onset is after the woman has had intercourse several times. It just doesn't sound like anything has gotten started here. IT could be, but I highly doubt it. But then again I am not a MD, I have just taken a few biology courses in University.

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

I reason I would shy away from this is that the onset is after the woman has had intercourse several times. It just doesn't sound like anything has gotten started here. IT could be, but I highly doubt it. But then again I am not a MD, I have just taken a few biology courses in University.

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Does your ex girlfriend know why she got Vulvar Vestibulitis?

I had never had intercourse in my life when I started to get symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction/ pudendal neuralgia. I had to have nerve blocks and physical therapy before I was able to lose my virginity.

From what I understand there's many different reasons you can get vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitis, pelvic floor dysfunction etc. The reason my doctor thinks I have it is because I did gymnastics all the time for most of my childhood and teenage years. I squeezed my whole body every time I tumbled/ did tricks (especially my pelvis and butt). And I bent my back constantly which can cause damage, but I never got back pain until my 20's. Since my back is unstable (I have fractures) my pelvis has to make up for the lack of support by tightening up/ spasming.

I think it's more rare to get it so early in life (like me) so most women have already had sex by the time they get symptoms. But I don't think whether you have had sex or not makes a difference. Of course I'm not an expert but I've had the condition for 7 years and I've seen several doctors and physical therapists who specialize in this condition. I actually moved across the country to get the best treatment I could because my symptoms were so bad for years (I'm much better now).

A few different ways you can get it is from cycling a lot (puts pressure on the nerves), working out alot/ sports, childbirth, chronic UTI infections, accidents where you fall on your butt /pelvis/ back, having to sit all day for several years/ decades, plus anatomy can play a big role in it. But it's extremely rare to begin with, so most people never get it from these things.

Sorry so long, I went into so much detail in case I can help the OP or someone else reading this that has similar symptoms.

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Originally Posted by greentree30

Does your ex girlfriend know why she got Vulvar Vestibulitis?

I had never had intercourse in my life when I started to get symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction/ pudendal neuralgia. I had to have nerve blocks and physical therapy before I was able to lose my virginity.

From what I understand there's many different reasons you can get vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitis, pelvic floor dysfunction etc. The reason my doctor thinks I have it is because I did gymnastics all the time for most of my childhood and teenage years. I squeezed my whole body every time I tumbled/ did tricks (especially my pelvis and butt). And I bent my back constantly which can cause damage, but I never got back pain until my 20's. Since my back is unstable (I have fractures) my pelvis has to make up for the lack of support by tightening up/ spasming.

I think it's more rare to get it so early in life (like me) so most women have already had sex by the time they get symptoms. But I don't think whether you have had sex or not makes a difference. Of course I'm not an expert but I've had the condition for 7 years and I've seen several doctors and physical therapists who specialize in this condition. I actually moved across the country to get the best treatment I could because my symptoms were so bad for years (I'm much better now).

A few different ways you can get it is from cycling alot (puts pressure on the nerves), working out alot/ sports, childbirth, chronic UTI infections, accidents where you fall on your butt /pelvis/ back, having to sit all day for several years/ decades, plus anatomy can play a big role in it. But it's extremely rare to begin with, so most people never get it from these things.

Sorry so long, I went into so much detail in case I can help the OP or someone else reading this that has similar symptoms.

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You know, I don't mind reading lengthy posts when they are interesting and valid. In your case, you made many valid points here. Great advice! I only hope that OP returns to read it. Perhaps it will help.

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Originally Posted by greentree30

Does your ex girlfriend know why she got Vulvar Vestibulitis?

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It was a gradual onset. We never really figured it out. We had a greatish sex life for a year or so than it started to wane. After a few months you couldn't get a finger in without hurting. I did some research and from what I can surmise it was a hormonal imbalance caused by the birth control, nuvaring (Who wants to play a new version of ring toss? :-D), and her already messed up hormones due to her thyroid condition. Toss in random doctors who tended to grapeshot solutions and various drugs. It is the Canadian system, if you don't have a family doctor than you use walk in clinics and see a multitude of doctors that may or may not care about the long term prognosis but more about quick treatment of what they see.

The things is that she had a lot of sex before the symptoms set in. She was also 28ish at the time. Which I would consider relatively young. She had a physical job, walked a lot watering plants, but not strenuous in the smacking of the crotch on things. She didn't play sports. Have major trauma or the like. There is no physical reason.

So near as I can gather this caused the muscles and nerves in her vaginal canal to respond differently than they should. Physical therapy improved the problem but didn't cure it. Everything ended before I knew if there was a positive outcome. Understandably I don't talk to her much, she's not pleased that had to enforce legal boundaries on her.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by greentree30

A few different ways you can get it is from cycling alot (puts pressure on the nerves), working out alot/ sports, childbirth, chronic UTI infections, accidents where you fall on your butt /pelvis/ back, having to sit all day for several years/ decades, plus anatomy can play a big role in it. But it's extremely rare to begin with, so most people never get it from these things.

Sorry so long, I went into so much detail in case I can help the OP or someone else reading this that has similar symptoms.

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I agree that this is a possibility, but I still believe it is unlikely.

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

It was a gradual onset. We never really figured it out. We had a greatish sex life for a year or so than it started to wane. After a few months you couldn't get a finger in without hurting. I did some research and from what I can surmise it was a hormonal imbalance caused by the birth control, nuvaring (Who wants to play a new version of ring toss? :-D), and her already messed up hormones due to her thyroid condition. Toss in random doctors who tended to grapeshot solutions and various drugs. It is the Canadian system, if you don't have a family doctor than you use walk in clinics and see a multitude of doctors that may or may not care about the long term prognosis but more about quick treatment of what they see.

The things is that she had a lot of sex before the symptoms set in. She was also 28ish at the time. Which I would consider relatively young. She had a physical job, walked a lot watering plants, but not strenuous in the smacking of the crotch on things. She didn't play sports. Have major trauma or the like. There is no physical reason.

So near as I can gather this caused the muscles and nerves in her vaginal canal to respond differently than they should. Physical therapy improved the problem but didn't cure it. Everything ended before I knew if there was a positive outcome. Understandably I don't talk to her much, she's not pleased that had to enforce legal boundaries on her.



I agree that this is a possibility, but I still believe it is unlikely.

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It does sound like the nuvaring did it! That sucks.

You know, I took a drug when I was 19 for acne (accutane), and my physical therapist told me she had other patients that took that drug and now have pelvic pain. I have no clue whether it played a role in my pain or not. It did have crazy side effects (my bones started cracking a lot ever since taking it). It felt like it dried up my whole body! I wish I never took it. It's crazy what some drugs can do to our body. :-/