Freshman in high school with best friend problems, any advice?
I just started my freshman year of high school with my best friend since 5th grade. We've gone to the same schools our whole lives. My best friend, let's call her Kayla, has an older sister one grade above us. Kayla is your typical outgoing, loud-mouthed(in a good way), lovable 15 year old. For some reason it's super easy to make friends with her. I am the complete and utter opposite. I'm quiet, shy, very much an introvert and I can only talk to people that talk to me first. Kayla seems to fit right into the high school scene, she's got friends literally freaking everywhere she goes. I don't have half as many friends as her. Since her sister is a sophomore, all the upperclassmen LOVE her. They talk to her, mess with her and treat her like they'd treat one of their own really good friends. And she just eats it up. She does the same right back to them. All the while I'm sitting next to her completely left out. There are a couple of instances where she's talking to a guy I've liked for a while and she just completely rubs it in my face. She knows that I like him, yet she still talks to him and messes with him RIGHT in front of me. Then she tells me all about their conversations when I wasn't there, she doesn't leave out a single detail. I understand that it's her life and she can do whatever the hell she wants, but I just feel like I'm losing her as a friend. She only talks to me when she has no one else to talk to. She even told me that. Albeit it may have been in a joking manner... Whatever. I feel like she doesn't cherish our friendship nearly as much as I do. I get her gifts and write her letters telling her how much she means to me. In return? Nothing. I'm just her confession booth. She tells me whatever the hell is going on in her life but doesn't spend a second to listen to what's going on in mine. She's popular. I'm not. What should I do? She probably won't care if I stop being her friend, but she won't know how much its hurting me. She doesn't even know anything is wrong. I love her, but at the same time hate her for her ignorance. I can't just keep pretending everything is all fine and dandy. I don't know if I'm overreacting, or over evaluting the situation, or if I'm just being a whiny hormonal teenager. I don't know what to do anymore. She says she loves me, but she doesn't show it.