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-   -   My partner has gone off sex (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=702938)

  • Sep 18, 2012, 09:14 AM
    dona0318
    My partner has gone off sex
    Hi, would love as much advice as possible please.
    Ive been with my partener for almost 10years. We have 3 children together. They are 8,6 and 9 months. My partner had a vasectomy 8weeks after our youngest was born.
    The problem is that in the last 5 months my partner has gone completely off sex. We spend a lot of time arguing (not just about sex) and he has a very stressful and tiring job so I try to be understanding of this. I have tried lots of different things to get him interested but nothing seems to be working.
    In the beginning of our relationship his sex drive was very high and I turned him down a lot and now he keeps saying that if its OK for me to turn him down it should be OK for him to do the same. Fair point I think, but I feel like he's punishing me.
    He says that he doesn't even want to cuddle me because if he does then I'll expect sex! I don't think this is fair as I'm naturally a very affectionate person.
    I feel very rejected by him and in some ways its making me feel very needy. I don't want to separate from him but don't feel that I can stay in a sexless relationship. I need that connection you get fom making love to someone.
    My partner doesn't seem to have an issue with masturbating. I know he masturbates at least once a day which makes me come to the conclusion that its me he's not interested in rather than he's just gone off sex.
    Any advice is much appreciated. Xxxx
  • Sep 18, 2012, 09:54 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Go out and buy some new, sexy, underwear and don't even mention the word sex or anything sexual from here on. I'll give it a month, at the most, and he'll be begging for it.

    Sometimes too much of a good thing isn't good. Sex, just like anything else, can get very boring. He's probably sick of the thought of it because he's thought of it too much. Try and tone down the sexual atmosphere. Make sex a 'taboo' again; something exciting like it was at first.

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