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We are looking for a mother to be who is looking to give up her baby for adoption. We would like to adopt and would like it private as we have adopted through agencies before and found that most only care for the money they make. We would like to do it privately with just lawyers.
That's very noble of you. My husband and his siblings were adopted by wonderful parents. However, this isn't the place to be looking, if that's what you were thinking.
We can give you advice though.
This is of course not a adoption site, but it is a great thing. I was adopted and adopted one of my boys.
Good luck.
Please remember that your costs are probably going to be nearly the same with a private adoption as with one through an agency--at least, if you do it fairly and respecting the needs of the birth family.
You need to pay for not only YOUR lawyer, but the lawyers representing the birthmother, the birthfather, and the Guardian ad Litem for the baby. You need to cover as many medical expenses for the birth and pregnancy as are not covered by the birthmother's insurance. You need to pay for counseling for the birthparents, both before they make their final decision, and then ongoing after they have chosen you as their child's parents. You need to make sure that the adoption agreement is fair to ALL parties, and that you are somehow accountable if you do not.
Private adoptions are great--if you're the adoptive parents. Agency adoptions are better if you're the birthparents, because they make sure that you get the things you don't know to ask for (like counseling) and provide services long after your child is gone (counseling, support groups, etc).
I think agencies make a lot less than most adoptive parents think they do, because so much of the money charged in an adoption is to help the birthparents with legal and medical fees, and with counseling and other grief services.
I respect your decision to go with a private adoption---but do you really think that going on the internet and posting that you want to take someone's baby from them is the best way to do it? Most women that choose adoption are mothers who love their child but just do not have the emotional, mental, and/or financial means to care for their child at this point in their life. Choosing adoption was the absolute hardest thing I EVER did, and I live with the fallout from that choice to this day. Since most women don't go thinking "well, I should be informed about my rights because someday I will choose adoption", an agency is where many turn to GET that guidance. And there are at least two reputable non-profit adoption agencies: Lutheran Social Services and Catholic Charities--who are not about making money from adoption.
Because I am on the side of adoption that is often misunderstood, I see nothing noble about adopting unless it is an older child out of foster care. Choosing to adopt an infant is no more noble than choosing to give birth to an infant.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamalooking
I'm probably being harsh (again) but I find this somewhat chilling.
Advertising on the Internet for a mother-to-be?
I have friends who have adopted and saw the steps they were required to take, including psych evaluations. Those agencies were definitely not there "only for the money."
Another good point--and another reason why birthparents choose agencies more often.Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
The ONLY time I see a private adoption being beneficial to all parties is if all parties knew each other BEFORE the adoption situation.
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