We have been dating for a few months and at first the sex was everyday and now its weekly at best. I've asked her if there was anything that I could do or say to make her want me and the reply is I'm just tired or something along those lines. I need help BAD! Someone please help me!

How old are the two of you?

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Originally Posted by J_9

How old are the two of you?

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I'm 28 and she's 24.

Take a step back and look at the big picture. What is her life like? Is she stressed, exhausted, on any medications, etc. Does she have any time to herself? Is she distracted by all that life is throwing at her? It could even be that she has normal periods of a lower libido because of hormone fluctuations. This may be her 'normal' and the first few weeks/months were out of the ordinary for her.

She probably is tired if that is what she is telling you. Have you asked her why she is tired? 'Tired' can be mental as well as physical condition. There are a lot of factors it can cover such as stress at work, or freaking out over getting a paper done for school, or trying to get a weeks worth of dishes and laundry clean in two hours.

She may also being feeling pressured to have sex if you are constantly trying to make her want you sexually. Pressure is one of the biggest libido limiters. If applied heavily enough for long enough it can kill a libido.

You should be mature enough to understand that sex everyday at the beginning of a relationship usually doesn't last very long. Life has a habit of getting in the way. Once a week or so may be all that she is capable of giving you right now.

What are your expectations in doing things together? How realistic are those expectations? Do you expect sex to be a part of every encounter or are you trying to get to know her as a whole person and not just her body? Keep in mind that 'wanting' to do something is different than 'expecting' it to happen.

Do you spend time together getting to know each other's likes, dislikes, personality traits, friends, etc. Do you show her affection and intimacy without expecting it to turn into sex?

If she is starting to pull away it may be as an unconscious reaction to feeling like all you want is sex. I am not saying that is all you want, but her perception may be very different than how you want her to see you and the relationship. Talk with her and listen to her. Accept that if you want a relationship with her, you may have to deal with less frequent sex than you started with. Or are you wanting to build a relationship with her based on more than sexual attraction? Something for you to think over and be honest with her and yourself about.

Good luck.