Don't know what to do, need advice.
Please bare with me. I'm new here. Ok so I've been seeing this girl for about 9 months give or take. She has been pursuing me for a quite a while. We have history together and I used to mess around with this girl years ago. Known her for about 11 years because we used to work together. She came into the picture again last year. As I said before she was pursuing me hard but I kept rejecting, in a polite way. I finally gave in last year in December and made the first move. Heading into the new year it was on and off a little because of me. I was very hesitant and didn't want to make any rash decisions.
Before her, I was single for 7 years, by choice. We finally really hit it off in February to March. Going out a lot, intimate etc etc. It was really intense but we were so into each other. She has two kids by the way, 8 &7. Baby daddy is a "dead beat". She told me about her past ex's and how she's been hurt in the past and her last ex being manipulative, verbally abusive and always accusing her of things that were not true. He was very controlling. She has major trust issues especially with her sister who, years ago, had a baby with her ex boyfriend while they were together at the time. She doesn't trust. We were spending a lot of time together almost everyday but we weren't in a relationship. She has told me that she puts me in a different category and that she trusts me more than any other ex because she knows me.
She even spoke about a future with me at one point. Well one day, something happened, back in June, that took a turn. We had a talk and she hit me with "I wanna slow things down". She says she doesn't want to be in a relationship and she doesn't want to feel like she's in one for many reasons. She's majoring in psychology, she has two kids that she's raising alone and she's always been in a relationship and needs a break from that. I asked her if there is any other guy that she's interested in and she said no there's no one else. She just can't be in a relationship right now.
I asked if she still has feelings for me and she said yes. I also asked her that if she wants to see other people let me know, but I won't be here for that. I'm not interested in seeing other people(I'm 31 by the way and she's 28), but if she wants to do that then that's her choice, but I won't be here for that and I'll go my way. She says there's no one else. She just wants to take things slow and not rush things. She doesn't want to mess this up. She believes its sometimes too good to be true and I mean a lot to her so she "doesn't know how to handle that sometimes". She says she doesn't want to lose me and doesn't want me out of her life at all. She also said that in the end, the person who she does end up with she would love for him to be me. I agreed to slow things down. But since then, she's been calling me a lot. She always calls. We talk everyday and I see her on weekends etc. We slowed down on the intimate part. But she's always looking for me, always calling, always texting. Sort of like a friendship thing. We talk almost the whole day about everything. She also told me once that she wants her husband to be her best friend. Now the thing is this and I'm sorry for the long post, but, we're in September and this happened back in June. I'm slowly falling for this girl. And I don't know how to tell her because I don't want to scare her away or have her think or pressure her into a relationship. I'm not really looking for one now as well because I want to get situated as well. I'm going back to school. But I'm falling for this girl and I don't know if she feels the same(in which I doubt). Should I tell her or keep it in and wait a little longer? I really care about this girl. I don't know what to do and this is eating me inside. Help?
