My girlfriend wants space, is this the end?
Me and my girlfriend have been going out for coming up to two years now and I have always had a few insecurities as far as trust goes which span back from a previous bad relationship. I also don’t have the greatest of self confidence, I mean I feel so lucky to have found such a beautiful and lovely person but because of this I have always thought that there must be someone better than me because I consider myself out of her league, thinking myself to be just average joe while she is beautiful.
To get to the point, we are both in love with each other but I can sometimes come off as being overly possessive or needy, as I put on the insecurities I have towards her. She has very understood generally in the relationship as she too has had previous bad relationships but she is also a very independent and strong woman and has evolved further than me from her bad experiences, I know she can live without me.
I have dealt a lot with my insecurities generally with help from her so in that respect I am a different person to what I was at the start. We have had our moments before as every relationship does one of these being that once I looked at her messages in her phone, sometime I always hated the thought of but what my insecurities pushed me to do, I found texts from a couple of guys that were basically melting all over her and telling her that she should be with them etc.. Like I said she is very beautiful but she did not reciprocate on these, however it did knock me for six and I regretted doing it, I told her and it did knock her trust with me and the consequences of that resulted in a 2 week break which was during January this year. We recovered from this and carried on having a good relationship again but the effects of those texts left a mark on me.
Now I have never had a problem with her going out with mates and I have never stopped her from doing anything she wanted or even stop her from talking to people including the culprits of the previously mentioned texts. The problem is that I like to keep in touch with her. I also used to question her on what places she’s going to and what people she is with but we spoke about that and I put that in check but I still like to keep in contact, asking her how she is, if she’s having a good time etc... and I mention to her that I’m worried about other guys and stuff before she goes out because my mind goes against me making me create bad scenarios in my head which is worse when I’m on my own. My girlfriend is aware of that and has been very understanding however she is not one to like contact when she is out with mates.
Where it has gone a bit tits up now is when she went out the other night which was 4 days ago. She was out with uni mates in a different city and like I said before, I needed a bit of reassurance and I also told her that I didn't like how she never wants contact from me on nights out and would rather me leave her alone, this caused small bickering but nothing major. Then during the night I text her a couple of times in the space of about 2 hours asking her how she is and if she is having a good time with no reply. Again I sent her another couple of texts asking her how she is etc. but I got no reply for a couple of hours but then got a text saying PLEASE STOP and then a call from her basically saying she can't do it anymore and that she was ending it with me, this obviously ripped through my heart and I was alone and not able to have a proper conversation with her. The next day she comes over to my house and we have a talk which results in both of us in tears and she basically broke up with me. It was a good terms basis and she even gave me a lift to the train station as I was going away and there she was crying and told me she loves me which is why it’s hard and she said she needs space and does not know what she wants. She also said I need to sort my own problems out and see where I’m going wrong which to be honest I do now. Now I just don’t know what’s going to happen and I did tell her that I would be here for her and that I’ve not given up on her and see a future with her so she said if that’s so I need to sort out my problems but she does not know how long she wants space for or even if she’s going to get back with me after so basically I’m left a bit in limbo not knowing what the hell’s going to happen, whether I’m to just give her the space she wants and then she’ll get back with me or if I’m fighting a losing battle and the fate of our relationship is already sealed.
All I know is that I feel like utter and just worry that’s she's going to hitch up with some other guy and leave me pissing in the wind. She is a good person and I am a good person too and she even said she’s not doing it so she can go off and other guys but for me to sort myself out and for her to think about whether she should be with me. Like I said I know she loves me which is the hope that I’m holding onto here but it would be great to here other peoples thoughts and experiences and to just figure out where I’m going wrong and what the to do.
I’m 23 and she’s 27 and I’m now into the 2nd day of this break with no contact what so ever.
Thank you