Ask Me Help Desk - Threesome with another women

Threesome with another women

Wife and I have been talking about a threesome with another women. She indicated she would do it because I would like it. It would mainly be me watching her with the other women and then me joining in to be with her only. I would not be involved with the other women.

Her comments of will do it for me and another one of Aren't I worried she may like being with a women too much bother me. Does she really like women and has not come out of the closet?

In the heat of passion, you are not going to touch the other woman? What if she touches you first?

I'd be more worried about your intentions than your wife's. This is your idea, right?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

In the heat of passion, you are not going to touch the other woman? What if she touches you first?

I'd be more worried about your intentions than your wife's. This is your idea, right?

My intentions on this are clear. My fantasy is to watch the two of them together. Not to be with another women.

Quote:

Originally Posted by villa1972

My intentions on this are clear. My fantasy is to watch the two of them together. Not to be with another women.

So if this is your idea, why are you suspicious of your wife?

You'd also be suspicious if the third person was male, worrying that your wife wanted to be unfaithful?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So if this is your idea, why are you suspicious of your wife?

You'd also be suspicious if the third person was male, worrying that your wife wanted to be unfaithful?

I wouldn't say I am suspicious of her being unfaithful. I am just curious as to why when we talk about it she always says "Aren't I afraid she will like being with a women too much" Thought some women could shed some light on this comment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by villa1972

I wouldn't say I am suspicious of her being unfaithful. I am just curious as to why when we talk about it she always says "Aren't I afraid she will like being with a women too much" Thought some women could shed some light on this comment.

SHE says this to you? Sounds like she is giving you "the business," teasing you.

Is your relationship able to handle an additional person?

It sounds to me like she isn't really into the idea and is trying to get out of going along with your fantasy by creating uncertainty in your mind.

If she isn't bi-sexual and this isn't her fantasy, then she would be having sex with another woman just to please you. No love. No passion. Using another person and being used as a toy for your pleasure.

How does your wife view sex? To her is it an act of love (even if it is a quickie) or does she see it as bodies satisfying a biological need?

She could be concerned that she may find out that sex isn't always for love and that sex without passion and intimacy can be just as satisfying.

Talk with her and be certain that you aren't putting pressure on her to do something which could damage how she sees the marriage, love, intimacy and you. Be certain you aren't so blinded by what you want that you are ignoring your wife's needs.

Some things are better left as fantasy to talk about and share with your partner instead of acted out. This might be one of them.

Threesomes are something you should have done way before you settled down and married, if you or your wife has sex with another person it will not only hurt you in the end but will also open a door for it to happen over and over again which will lead to cheating or divorce if you love your wife truly id find another way to get kinky with her rather than adding another person to the mix..

Ask her what she means when she says "aren't you worried I'd like being with a women too much?" Is she just teasing, or is there truth to what she's saying? Talk to her and get to the bottom of how she truly feels.

Is she bisexual? It's hard for me to imagine a completely straight women open to having sex with another woman. It's fine if she's bisexual, but what if she really does end up loving it more than she expected? You have to be prepared for that. Will it still be worth it to you if you have jealous feelings afterwards?

If you do it, it might be a great experience. But also be prepared that someone's feelings can get hurt. Especially if you keep doing it, it's impossible for someone not to get hurt eventually.

I would only do it if you BOTH really really REALLY want to! And if you both are prepared to deal with the emotions that can happen afterwards.

I know a couple personally that have had threesomes and do swinging occasionally. They admit they get jealous sometimes but they work through it. They're a very "out there" couple, so I think that's why it works for them.

But I know another couple who did this and they got a divorce over it. The wife was actually the one to convince him to do it and he basically just went along with it. But after a few years he got very resentful and too much damage was done to fix it. I think he should have been honest from the start that he wasn't really into it.

I'm bisexual and me and my husband agree it would be a very bad idea for us! We would never do it. But every couple is different. I think it takes a very out of the box couple or an unconventional lifestyle for it to work out!

Vanessa0420, I agree it's a better idea to try it before being married/ settle down. There's a lot less to risk that way!