So I'm happily in a long term relationship with my girlfriend and we love each other. At the beginning, I had a crush on her friend I guess, it was just slight flirting, nothing much really. However, my GF is extremely jealous and I know that. So recently, being an idiot, I thought to myself, "what if I thought of her friend when I'm kissing (etc.) her, and she finds out? She would for sure get really really mad". Even though I know 100% that I got no feelings for her friend whatsoever, I have now "paired" the thought of her friend with kissing my girlfriend. So every time I kiss my GF now, I tell myself "do not think of her friend", but low and behold, I think of her friend. Its really really annoying and I'm afraid to tell me GF, I know she will go crazy, and this is driving me crazy. HELP.

The only reason why you would think of her friend while kissing your girlfriend is maybe because you have feelings for her?

You say you don't, but are you sure?

It would be one thing to think of her once, but to think of her quite a bit in the act...

No. This is a case of classical conditioning+"dont think of the pink elephant". I really need some advise on how to rid this connection.
Please don't tell me who I love and who I don't love. I know I have no feelings for anyone else other then my GF.

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Originally Posted by drivingmecrazy1

No. This is a case of classical conditioning+"dont think of the pink elephant". I really need some advise on how to rid this connection.
Please dont tell me who i love and who i dont love. I know I have no feelings for anyone else other then my GF.

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Now now, there is no reason to be rude to me. I was simply asking you a question. I was only trying to help by knowing more information.

Here is a link regarding classical conditioning that may help you out. I know you know what classical conditioning is, it just goes into more depth on how to change your thought process.

Classical Conditioning

There really is no way to "rid" the connection... right away that is, unless you preform a lobotomy, in which I am using sarcasm. However, there IS a way to change your thought process, by conditioning your brain to think of other things instead of your girlfriend's friend.

I hope this helps.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by drivingmecrazy1

No. This is a case of classical conditioning+"dont think of the pink elephant". I really need some advise on how to rid this connection.
Please dont tell me who i love and who i dont love. I know I have no feelings for anyone else other then my GF.

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The people on the website donate their time to help. You'd do well to respect that.

Kissing your girlfriend and thinking of her friend when you initially had a crush on her? That means you have feelings for your girlfriends friend, whether you realize it or not. You can't dictate how the members of this site answer your question. You're the one having problems, if you knew how to deal with it and knew what was wrong you wouldn't be here asking.

I wouldn't freak out on those fantasies, and I would never tell my girl friend about them either. Chances are they will fade in time.