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I would like your advice.
I have been friends this this friend for many years for the last 5 years we are best friends but now there Is a problem. I am falling in love with him. I asked if he felt the same way for me. Every time we met to hang out he says to me that he just wants to be best friends and I don’t want to make any mistakes. This is very confusing to me so I am very frustrated I don’t know what to do.
What do I need to do to prove that I am the one for him? Help!!
You can't prove anything. If he doesn't want to be with you then he doesn't want to be with you. I'd try to put away your feelings or you're going to ruin that friendship.
I rather ruin the friendship I don't deserve thisQuote:
Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace
He doesn't want to be exclusive, or commit to you so don't chase him as there is nothing to prove at all. If all he wants is a best friend, and hang out buddy and you don't, then you leave him alone.
Sorry. You are in love, he is not.
Then you've answered your own question.Quote:
Originally Posted by ramonety
Quote:
I would like your advice.
I have been friends this this friend for many years for the last 5 years we are best friends but now there Is a problem. I am falling in love with him. I asked if he felt the same way for me. Every time we met to hang out he says to me that he just wants to be best friends and I don’t want to make any mistakes. This is very confusing to me so I am very frustrated I don’t know what to do.
What do I need to do to prove that I am the one for him? Help!!
May I ask how old you both are? Is he seeing anyone?Quote:
Originally Posted by ramonety
What do you not deserve? To be treated like a best friend? From what you have said he wants to be best friends. You want more. If you cannot accept what he has to give you, let the friendship go. You've stopped being his friend.
If you push wanting to be romantically involved with him, it will get to the point where he won't be coming over and he won't be hanging out. He might even say something that you don't want to hear such as 'I think of you like a sister.' Or has he said those words?
How much effort are you putting into this friendship? Do you spend any energy on meeting other males and developing other relationships? Do you love him or is he available and attentive? Does 'loving' him even if he doesn't return the feeling fill a void in your life? Is it safer to have feelings for him than it is to find someone else to 'date'?
The only confusion seems to be in your mind and maybe your heart. Be certain you aren't adding stress to a great friendship because you are misinterpreting your emotions.
You need to seriously get over the idea that you don't 'deserve' to be treated as just a friend when you have fallen in love. Unless we are reading this wrong, and what you mean is that you don't deserve to suffer by being cajoled into remaining friends when you can't stand the pain - if he is doing that, he isn't being fair. Unfortunately it is then your job to force yourself to stay away from him.
The notion of 'proving love' is an archaic one that entailed feats of valor or bringing the woman's family a lion you killed, or waiting chastely for years while the man went off to war or to sea. And so on... those days are gone, except in cultures where a dowry is expected. You don't prove feelings other than by saying them. If they are turned down, you move on.
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