Hi, I'm in my early twenties and have been with my boyfriend, who's over a year older than me, for more than 3yrs and 3 months now. I've definitely felt the difference the past year with the passion in the relationship sexually. The relationship hasn't been totally perfect, we are normal as in, annoy each other every now and again, nothing major. We don't live together and are both going to uni (different ones).
The thing that's getting to me is the lack of romance and passion. There's nothing there. We have talked about this, several times. We have established that as we've been together for a while now the initial 'honemoon' periods over. That romance and passion don't come to him as naturally as they do me. Basically he always says he'd "love to do this and that" and lists off things I'd love but he doesn't follow them through or they aren't attainable. We went on holiday recently with friends (2 singles and another couple) and when we had some time by ourselves I said it might be nice to have a romantic bath together... He seemed really excited, said he'd love that but it never happened, there was always an excuse. Literally nothing happened the whole week, we didn't even go for 1 walk together.
I suggest things and he always manages to wriggle out somehow. Its upsetting me now. He's affectionate with me but he doesn't get erections much anymore. Ive considered stress but he's been off uni since May for summer and works Saturdays. No one he knows is ill... I just don't think its stress.
I'm at a loss and wonder if anyone can shed light on something I may be overlooking please? Is this just the real him now that the honemoon bits over? Thank you if anyone can help :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by flossy13

Hi, im in my early twenties and have been with my bf, who's over a year older than me, for more than 3yrs and 3 months now. I've definately felt the difference the past year with the passion in the relationship sexually. The relationship hasn't been totally perfect, we are normal as in, annoy each other every now and again, nothing major. We don't live together and are both going to uni (different ones).
The thing thats getting to me is the lack of romance and passion. There's nothing there. We have talked about this, several times. We have established that as we've been together for a while now the initial 'honemoon' periods over. That romance and passion don't come to him as naturally as they do me. Basically he always says he'd "love to do this and that" and lists off things I'd love but he doesnt follow them through or they arent attainable. We went on holiday recently with friends (2 singles and another couple) and when we had some time by ourselves I said it might be nice to have a romantic bath together... He seemed really excited, said he'd love that but it never happened, there was always an excuse. Literally nothing happened the whole week, we didnt even go for 1 walk together.
I suggest things and he always manages to wriggle out somehow. Its upsetting me now. He's affectionate with me but he doesnt get erections much anymore. Ive considered stress but he's been off uni since May for summer and works Saturdays. No one he knows is ill... I just dont think its stress.
I'm at a loss and wonder if anyone can shed light on something I may be overlooking please? Is this just the real him now that the honemoon bits over? Thankyou if anyone can help :)

---

You are sexually intimate with him - ask him. Don't confront him. Ask him.

Anything else is a guess. What does "no one he knows is ill" have to do with this? Has he had a physical?

Hi sorry, I mean no one he knows is ill, in the sense that he can't be worrying about anything serious like that. He's healthy, he gives blood and he exercises.

I've asked him in every which way possible, I've been subtle, direct and all between.
It feels he just agrees with things and tells me what he thinks I want to hear. I'd like the truth and not a guessing game. Its eating into myself esteem now, that he's bored of me, and the way I look. Sometimes I don't feel like his girlfriend, just a good friend.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by flossy13

Hi sorry, I mean no one he knows is ill, in the sence that he can't be worrying about anything serious like that. He's healthy, he gives blood and he exercises.

I've asked him in every which way possible, I've been subtle, direct and all inbetween.
It feels he just agrees with things and tells me what he thinks I want to hear. I'd like the truth and not a guessing game. Its eating into my self esteem now, that hes bored of me, and the way I look. Sometimes I dont feel like his gf, just a good friend.

---

Things change, people change. Maybe he is interested in you only as a friend. It's almost impossible to know.