I was 18+ when I met someone who was in the same Bach class. Seemed very innocent guy, and I liked his behavior and attitude and all. He liked me as well and started conversations and shared everything with each other like we were dedicated to each other.

A time came when we departed for our higher studies. I felt same love as before and he also. But meantime he was more engaged with his friends and not giving time as before. Gradually it seems like our love life is deteriorating day by day but I felt love for him same as ever. He tried to conceal so many things from me even if I urged for the matter not to be concealed if you love me. Meantime studies were over and came back to my home town for job and I was doing well for about a month. There were certain ups and down in our relationship but the whole is that we love each other.

A disaster, a calamity or I could say a misery rushed into my life. I was kidnapped by my own teacher and his gang and raped. Narrow escaped and back to my home. Then informed police and case filed. Now the case is hanging in court.

Discussed the matter with my boyfriend telephonically. I was totally like a living dead but my boyfriend did not came to meet. Doesn't matters if he supports me by any mean by telephonic talk or by mail or by message. For about a few months he loved me so much but after while what happened to him he became reciprocal. As he talk to me but as he is supposed to talk as he don't want to talk to me anymore.

Our 7 years relationship is coming to an end after the case. The case has been hanging on for 1+ year. Now I have been left alone without him I could not live my life. How my only 'love' will come back to my life.

Come on, friend. Move up. Tomorrow is another day.You'll have a better future.

If he bails on during theis unfortunate situtation, then he is not man enough for you. It seems, to me, that when the going got tough, he got out fast.

This may have been too much for him to handle, which in the end, you don't want someone who won't stick it out with you during tough times.

I'm sorry these things happened to you.

If he really loved you, he would stand by you no matter what, I assume you live in a culture that expects or requires someone to be a virgin ( at least the girls, they guys oare free to do all they want)

If he will not be there with you and support you, you are better off finding someone new, and you will.

Why has it taken 7 years as boyfriend, why were you not married long ago

Thanks to consider!
Of course I wanted to marry ma boyfrnd in between or ever.. He says we can't get married because of difference in our casts. But I don't think if love is there these diffrences do not matter. But I do not wanted to compell him to marry me because he is the only son of his parents and they have a lot of expectations from him. For the initial 5 years we both were not finished with our degrees. In between I ask many times to sort out the problm and to convince our parents... But his reply does not satisfy my questions.
Any how because I still love him and can not cansider any other to came into my life. I could do every possibility for our marriege but if he don't want how could I? Now for a couple of week he is totallty disconnected from conversations.

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

If he really loved you, he would stand by you no matter what, I assume you live in a culture that expects or requires someone to be a virgin ( at least the girls, they guys oare free to do all they want)

If he will not be there with you and support you, you are better off finding someone new, and you will.

Why has it taken 7 years as boyfriend, why were you not married long ago

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Thanks a lot for consideration! You may please refer to the previous answer immediate after your answer as my reply for your suggestion.

Sorry you had to go through such a calamity to find out he can never be husband material, but it seems he never was thrilled with the idea of marriage any way and its time to move beyond him. You have wasted enough time, faith, and love on this fellow and I hope you heal from all this negativity and find a better path to happiness.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Sorry you had to go thru such a calamity to find out he can never be husband material, but it seems he never was thrilled with the idea of marriage any way and its time to move beyond him. You have wasted enough time, faith, and love on this fellow and I hope you heal from all this negativity and find a better path to happiness.

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Thanks a lot to heed towards d cry..
But how could I manage to forget d 7 or even more years relationship. Okay I could manage if he clarifies all d reason behind and I can live my whole life wihout him but I can't digest his rudeness. I said you are always free to explain his problm I can face d truth.. But he always admits he loves me. Then what can I do?

If you leave him alone and begin to rebuild a life that makes you happy without him, eventually you can put all this behind you.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

If you leave him alone and begin to rebuild a life that makes you happy without him, eventually you can put all this behind you.

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Okay.. I'll put all things apart and try to revive my life. Hope all your suggestions I could keep in my mind. Thanks a lot.

Many men are just too selfish to be tender to a woman who was raped. They blame her (location, dress, teasing, not fighting back enough) and/or they see her as damaged goods afterwards. Who needs a man like that? Try to see him in a new light. I'm very sorry this has happened to you. There are countless others. Maybe you can help them? Maybe you can start a self help talk group, and help each other.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

Many men are just too selfish to be tender to a woman who was raped. They blame her (location, dress, teasing, not fighting back enough) and/or they see her as damaged goods afterwards. Who needs a man like that? Try to see him in a new light. I'm very sorry this has happened to you. There are countless others. Maybe you can help them? Maybe you can start a self help talk group, and help each other.

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Thanks..
Saying about... damaged good... seemed how true!
Really.. u are absolutely right!

Its very tough to live afterwards.. and want to delete d tough times from my life.

I hope you can be angry with him, disgusted. Even pity him and all the men in the world like him. Be angry at first to get the hurt out, and try to let it evolve towards pity, because anger destroys yourself.

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Originally Posted by Manju Deepti

Thanks..
Saying about...damaged good...seemed how true!
Really..u are absolutely right!

Its very tough to live afterwards..and want to delete d tough times from my life.

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I'm not sure that the rape isn't an excuse for him to become distant - there already were "caste" problems, apparently.

I was the adult victim of rape. I have no idea why it becomes an issue for the male partner, but it does. I found my husband had a great deal of difficulty talking about my rape - he said it made him feel helpless, like he should have protected me more (I never saw it coming, he wasn't there, what could he have done anyway from a distance). I went to counseling WITH him. He didn't feel it asked for it, deserved it, didn't blame me - but he had difficulty. He didn't distance himself, he just was uneasy. I needed medical treatment, stitches, and he was almost afraid to touch me for a long time.

I wouldn't write this guy off without finding out exactly where the problem lies - caste, rape, the relationship ran its natural course, whatever it is.