Hey everyone I was married for five years I have two boys to a previous relationship and my wife has one, we also have a little girl, my wife moved out ten months ago mainly due to the stupid way I was acting, when she went to bed at night I would have went out and smoked weed at a friends house, I was suffering from depression at the time and showed her little affection, she also saw a stupid message I sent a girl on Facebook ( don't no what I was thinking but nothing happened ) I've never cheated on my wife and when she moved out I realised how stupid I had been and completely changed my ways, I got counselling stopped the weed and tried to prove myself and show my wife how much I love her, we started going to marriage guideness counselling together and things where hard but we sorted a lot of things out and things started to look up, in July time we talked about her moving back into together and I was the happiest man in the world, things started to change then she started to blow hot and cold and eventually said she was fighting with her feelings and said she doesn't love me anymore, I've tried everything to show her how much I love her but she is so cold towards me, the kids are all gutted, only a few weeks we where on holidays together and everything was fine, we had other days out as well, the day she told she didn't love me we had went on a long drive and had lunch a real nice easy day where we talked loads, she said she likes spending time with me and still finds me attractive she just doesn't have any love feelings, its now went from that to her never wanting to see me, basically when I keep the kids my my mum will be bringing them to school so she doesn't have to see me, I just can't understand how it has went from us talking about moving back in together to this in a matter of weeks, she wrote me a letter when she moved out saying her marriage and her family where the most important thing in her life I just can't get my head round it please help!

Are you still doing counseling?
It could be she has mixed feelings and does not know if she loves you. How long had you been having problems before she left?
Maybe she has met someone.

No the counseling ended after she said she was having doubts due to the holiday period and she won't go back, I'm starting to think she is seeing someone myself and its killing me, we have always had a hard time with money worries and problems with the kids but we have came threw all that and now we should enjoy being together, she swears blind there is nobody else and I don't think she is the sort to do that but I can't be sure, I wrote her a letter telling her how much I loved her and begged her not to end it because there is so much at stake but she just doesn't seem to care its not like her, she is also unsure of what path to take in her career, she talked about moving house again, she doesn't seem happy to me and all I want to do is help, I've rang her mum and friends to see if they could try and talk to her but that didn't go down well at all

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Originally Posted by porkchop135

no the counseling ended after she said she was having doubts due to the holiday period and she wont go back, im starting to think she is seeing someone myself and its killing me, we have always had a hard time with money worries and problems with the kids but we have came threw all that and now we should enjoy being together, she swears blind there is nobody else and i dont think she is the sort to do that but i can't be sure, i wrote her a letter telling her how much i loved her and begged her not to end it because there is so much at stake but she just dosent seem to care its not like her, she is also unsure of what path to take in her career, she talked about moving house again, she dosent seem happy to me and all i want to do is help, iv rang her mum and friends to see if they could try and talk to her but that didnt go down well at all

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Your love for her does not mean she has love for you - perhaps your past behavior has killed any love she had for you.

My feeling? She's out of the living situation she was in (with you), and she is happier alone.

That's the danger when you pay no attention to a relationship or a partner. At first the partner is devastated, but then she realizes she can survive without you and the drama you bring.

I have an "ex." I see him all the time. I just don't want to be married to him.

The things I did most have been awful for her I no that but she wasn't an angel herself, the problem is she never admits when she in the wrong, the thought of losing her for good is killing me, she is all I think about and I would do anything for her, I've came a long long way the past ten months to try and show her the real me the one she fell in love with, just wish it was enough, I miss her, I miss seeing my daughter every day, my wife knows I would go to the ends of the earth for her and yet she doesn't even want to speak to me

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Originally Posted by porkchop135

the things i did most have been awful for her i no that but she wasnt an angel herself, the problem is she never admits when she in the wrong, the thought of loosing her for good is killing me, she is all i think about and i would do anything for her, iv came a long long way the past ten months to try and show her the real me the one she fell in love with, just wish it was enough, i miss her, i miss seeing my daughter every day, my wife knows i would go to the ends of the earth for her and yet she dosent even want to speak to me

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She sounds like she's been very badly hurt - I think the best you can do is prove you have changed by the way you live. If she needs space, give her space.

I would just like to add that I was married, to a decent man... He was willing to go to counseling when thing became tough. He worked hard at the marriage towards the end... "towards the end". Where was he when I needed him most "durring" the marriage? Your wife may have felt the dame way... I also fell out of love with my ex, just as she did with you. Sometimes that happens. People fall in love and people fall out of love.

Just let her be for now... Don't smother her. She knows you love and care for her. Let her chew on that for a while.