Ask Me Help Desk - My boyfriend is telling me I'm ugly, what do I do?

I am in a relationship for three and half years. Today I got a fight with him and he told me that I am very ugly that he would vomit. He told me to see myself in the mirror and I would too vomit to see myself.

I'm very depressed, a year back I caught him having an affair with a girl, but he has broken up with her, but before breaking up with her completely he kept lying to me for 8 months. Finally when I decided to leave him he promised me that he will never be with that girl anymore. That part is over now but he's always shouting at me for no reasons.

Our family too know each other and they are ready for the marriage also, but his behaviour is getting worse day by day. Whenever we are out he's keep checking on every beautiful girl passing nearby. What do I do? I am a medical student by profession and he's with his family business. PLEASE HELPPPPPPP ANYONE:((

You want help? I can help you but I know you're not going to listen to me... here's what you do... leave him.

He is disrespecting you and you are allowing him to do it. He is not going to just stop doing it. It will get worse and it will become harder to deal with.

Leave him now. He sounds like a sack of crap anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by odinn7

You want help? I can help you but I know you're not going to listen to me....here's what you do...leave him.

He is disrespecting you and you are allowing him to do it. He is not going to just stop doing it. It will get worse and it will become harder to deal with.

L:eave him now. He sounds like a sack of crap anyway.

Well thanks odinn for your rply but yeah your right any way..

He is just saying that because he couldn't friggin think of a come back! That's what every boyfriend does! But I don't think you should say sorry. Wait for him to come to you, unless you did something horrible to him as well.

Oh heeeell no. This guy cheated on you, manipulated you into getting back together with him by lying about what he was willing to offer, and now he's calling you ugly? Nuh-uh. I don't care how long you've been with him or what kind of attachment you think you have to him, this sort of behavior is borderline, if not overtly, abusive, and you need to dump his sorry butt and walk away. And never turn back. He is NOT worth the amount of time, emotion, and effort you're going to put into trying to make this relationship work. He has crapped on your trust, disrespected you, and crapped on your self-esteem, too. Nope. Not worth it. You deserve better, and you will find better- the first step away from him is the first step toward a better future and a better guy. Don't care what you say about how you met or how your families know each other or how you think you love him or how you're afraid you won't find anyone else, this guy is NOT worth your time, period. Run away and never, ever look back. Good riddance to him and mercy to the poor girl he ends up with.

What he is doing is wearing you down, i.e. you are ugly, so that you will think no other man would possibly want you. That is called controlling behavior.

Men who control this way, have only one purpose. To keep what they have because you are a constant in their life, and live another life at the same time.

The more you are put down, and made to feel responsible for their behavior, the more likely it is his behavior will become increasingly worse, and you will feel lucky to have him regardless. Why? Because he is working on convincing you that you are worthless, and he is worth more because of it.

You can't win.

GET OUT! Regardless if this is an arranged marriage, my understanding is that you have the final say. Before you totally lose yourself in pleasing this man and putting up with his behavior toward you, sit your parents down, and tell them exactly what you have said here.

If they still insist you marry him, be strong enough to say no. Move on with your life and enjoy your independence and the great future ahead of you with your medical degree. If and when someone should cross your path that is 100 percent the opposite of what this jerk is, then by all means make an intelligent decision about a life with him.

You can do much better. Step up, and do it.

You think its bad now, wait until you marry the creep and it gets worse. You have wasted 3 years already, so why waste the rest of your life? Why do you even tolerate such crap from him?

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenNeedsHelp

He is just saying that because he couldn't friggin think of a come back! That's what every boyfriend does! But I don't think you should say sorry. Wait for him to come to you, unless you did something horrible to him as well.

This thread is over a year old but I wanted to address this new comment.

No, it's not what every boyfriend does. Where the hell did you get that idea? Maybe your boyfriend does it to you but that doesn't mean they all do it and it certainly doesn't make any of this treatment right.