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-   -   My boyfriend & I use to have sex on a pretty regular basis. We are both age 32 (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=700097)

  • Sep 7, 2012, 03:23 AM
    Christinahicks5
    My boyfriend & I use to have sex on a pretty regular basis. We are both age 32
    My boyfriend and I are both 32yo. In the beginning of the relationship sex was fairly frequent but it has gotten to a much slower pace to where we will go 2 weeks without any. It has really taken a toll on myself esteem as of lately. I know he sneaks & watches porn which I have told him many times before I could careless if he watches it. I have even suggested watching it together & he says no. He says there is nothing wrong with watching porn as that's what guys do but he swears up & down that he doesn't masturbate which also doesn't bother me even if he did. I have noticed that when we do have sex he finishes really quickly & after he says he's embarrassed because he went so quickly. I reassured him that I have no complaints about the length of time before he ejaculates & that I just want to have sex. He also doesn't kiss me at all during sex. I'm also not allowed to talk dirty or send him sexy pics as he says it's not ladylike & he's not into that kind of stuff. I'm on the verge of breaking up with him or cheating on him because I just don't know how much more I can take! He says it's due to stress but I don't buy that considering he has no problem watching porn. What do I do? I am very must in love with this man but I do have needs that need to be taken care of! We also use to cuddle every single night & now when I try to cuddle him he pushes my away & says my skin against his is to hot & makes him hot, when before him & I cuddled every night at his request. I have seriously been thinking lately that he's just not interested in me anymore but is afraid to break it off & look Ike the bad guy. He has even for the past 3 months been very moody & quick to jump down my throat about everything. I told himtwo at I thought about the whole him being afraid to break up & be the bad guy & he says I am being ridiculous & that he loves my with all his heart.
  • Sep 7, 2012, 04:04 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    I believe that, if you're not happy talk to them and if it does nothing, leave. Why stay in a relationship that's not only unhappy, but isn't going to change. You've got to do what makes you happy. No sense in living life always upset about the person you're with when you can do something about it.
  • Sep 8, 2012, 04:42 AM
    JennaC
    I've been in a situation similar to this, but just based mainly on the premature ejaculation part. If he's not willing to put in the effort to satisfy you sexually, make you feel sexy, and appreciate you, then why continue seeing him? Seems like you're more of a convenient warm body for him to pay attention to when it suits him, and then watch porn when he doesn't feel like putting in the effort to be a decent boyfriend.

    Also, when a guy has told me in the past "You're being ridiculous", it's usually the opposite. His behavior speaks volumes; he is being self-centered and doesn't care about your needs. This is not a relationship. I suggest you put your foot down and talk to him, and if he doesn't want to work on your sex life, then leave. I can assure you that there's probably more wrong with him (self-esteem/confidence issues) that's affecting the relationship.
  • Sep 8, 2012, 07:28 PM
    Jimmy78
    The best thing I can tell you is talk about the problem, if it doesn't change then its time to go. Don't be like me and stay around wishing things will change. If you think sex every two weeks is bad try once every month or two months. I think sex is a deal breaker, no sex no relationship that's just me.
  • Sep 8, 2012, 08:09 PM
    LadySam
    Has your boyfriend had a good check up lately?
    While 32 is young, health problems are not unheard of at a youger age.
    And there are plenty of health issues that can affect sexual drive and ability.
    I would urge him to get a good physical before I ditched the relationship or cheated, once you've done that you can't take it back.
  • Sep 9, 2012, 05:53 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    First you tell him, sex is not always to be just the way he wants, he has to also agree to allow it the way you want, if that includes talking dirty and role playing go for it.

    He can either agree to take turns in how it goes, or you know he is just selfish.

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