My partner is having pain during intercoarse, she is 56 years old and in menopas , she says it feels to tight . And I am average size in length and gerth. She has not been with anybody for a long time. She tells me it feels like I am stretching her out and the pain is too much . We can only get about half of me in before we give up do to pain on her part . We go very slowly . And use lots of lube.and have tried many different positions. It does not feel overly tight on my end.just a little snug / but no pain. Should we see a dr. for tests on something more ?

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about the problem. It is likely that due to your partner's going through menopause at this time that it has something to do with her vaginal tightness. I would recommend her going to a gyno and checking out what the problem is. It SOUNDS LIKE (not a diagnosis and should not be taken as such) vaginismus, which is where the PC muscles contract and make the vagina so tight that it's nearly impossible to have intercourse:

"Peri-menopausal and menopausal vaginismus, often due to a drying of the vulvar and vaginal tissues as a result of reduced estrogen, may occur as a result of 'micro-tears' first causing sexual pain then leading to vaginismus".

Source:Pacik, Peter (2010). "When Sex Seems Impossible. Stories of Vaginismus & How You Can Achieve Intimacy." Manchester, NH: Odyne. pp. 8–16.

Good luck and all the best.