Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Teens (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=327)
-   -   What should I do when I have a friend like this? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=699827)

  • Sep 6, 2012, 12:29 AM
    Itsmebytheway
    What should I do when I have a friend like this?
    Hi, I have a good friend, she sits beside me in class.. and I need help cause I can't stand it and I don't know what to do. This year a lot of things have happened and I feel like I don't know her anymore.. she got betrayed by all her friends and now I'm her only friend.. I know she's afraid that I might leave her too but she's being kind of selfish.. she doesn't allow me to go with my friends for recess and I don't want to leave her all alone during recess so I accompanied her (plus she doesn't want to join us)she always scolds me and ignore me when she's mad or when I did something that she didn't like. She gets jealous when I'm friendly with other people. One time, she even threw shredded paper at me because I was talking to a new student. She controls me.. I can't even do anything I want or go anywhere because I feel bad for leaving her alone and she doesn't allow me. My classmates secretly tell me that I'm like her dog (I hated it) and they feel bad for me because I told them how she treated me. Am I gossiping? Cause I really want to tell someone about it. Now, I'm not very close to my friends.. what should I do? Thank you.. :)
  • Sep 6, 2012, 12:56 AM
    joypulv
    She doesn't ALLOW you to go with other friends?
    She's not your parent, and you are not a puppet (or a puppy) - tell her to get lost, and tell her why. You obviously are her only friend left, and it's easy to see why. You are going to lose all your other friends. Tell her you won't hang out with her anymore and are going to get your old friends back. Just say it calmly and matter of factly for her own good.
  • Sep 6, 2012, 04:53 AM
    Itsmebytheway
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    She doesn't ALLOW you to go with other friends?
    She's not your parent, and you are not a puppet (or a puppy) - tell her to get lost, and tell her why. You obviously are her only friend left, and it's easy to see why. You are going to lose all your other friends. Tell her you won't hang out with her anymore and are going to get your old friends back. Just say it calmly and matter of factly for her own good.
    The problem is.. I've tried telling her that and she cried o.O.. I know what it feels like to have no one and feel all alone.. it sucks, so yeah.. plus, she's my good friend and classmate. She began acting this way only this year. It was'nt like this last year. And she'll probably going to be in the same class as me next year. But I'll try to talk to her calmly again.. thanks though :)
  • Sep 6, 2012, 05:38 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Itsmebytheway View Post
    The problem is.. i've tried telling her that and she cried o.O.. i know what it feels like to have no one and feel all alone..it sucks, so yeah.. plus, she's my good friend and classmate. She began acting this way only this year. It was'nt like this last year. And she'll probably gonna be in the same class as me next year. But i'll try to talk to her calmly again.. thanks though :)
    It sucks to be alone, but it sucks more to have friends only out of pity.
  • Sep 6, 2012, 07:21 AM
    Itsmebytheway
    I told her just now through text messege cause I think it would be better.. and now she wrote tweets about it.. like "That sad moment when you can feel you and your best friends slowly drifting apart." Im so fustrated.. It's not easy to just say stop being friends you know.. I still want to be friends.. I just want her to change.. I think the reason is because she got betrayed and she just recently broke up with her boyfriend.
  • Sep 6, 2012, 07:37 AM
    joypulv
    Tell her that jealousy is a poison. It is the main reason you are losing your other friends. That way it's not something about her that she can't change - she just has to share you, which is what being friends is all about.
  • Sep 6, 2012, 08:11 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    Stop living though text and tweet and Facebook, get a real life talking in person or at least over the phone where you can hear emotion.

    Stop letting anyone control you
  • Sep 6, 2012, 08:45 AM
    Itsmebytheway
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Stop living though text and tweet and facebook, get a real life talking in person or at least over the phone where you can hear emotion.

    Stop letting anyone control you
    I tried talking to her face to face last time.. but she got angry and cried. If I fb'ed her she wouldn't reply, and I think by talking on the phone she could hang up or I don't know.. so yeah..
  • Sep 6, 2012, 09:05 AM
    Homegirl 50
    She isn't doing any more to you than you allow her to do. She is controlling you because you let her.
    Do what you want, let her have her fit. She'll get over it.
  • Sep 6, 2012, 09:08 PM
    Itsmebytheway
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    She isn't doing any more to you than you allow her to do. She is controlling you because you let her.
    Do what you want, let her have her fit. She'll get over it.
    Okay, I'll try to toughen up.. but its hard cause she helped me a lot and we've gone through a lot together.. Thank you.
  • Sep 6, 2012, 09:48 PM
    advice-queen134
    Just don't let someone control you. I have the problem to of being too nice to mean people sometimes. What I would suggest is try talking to her, tell her you can only be her friend if she lets you be friends with other people. Good luck !
  • Sep 7, 2012, 07:39 AM
    Homegirl 50
    Just because someone has helped you, there is no reason to then let them walk all over you. You say 'thank you' and then live your life.
  • Sep 7, 2012, 10:06 AM
    Itsmebytheway
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by advice-queen134 View Post
    Just don't let someone control you. I have the problem to of being too nice to mean people sometimes. What I would suggest is try talking to her, tell her you can only be her friend if she lets you be friends with other people. Good luck !
    Yeah, everyone tells me I'm "too nice" :(.. I told her that today.. now she wants to join me and my friends for recess but they don't like that idea :( omg thanks though :)
  • Sep 7, 2012, 03:18 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Itsmebytheway View Post
    I tried talking to her face to face last time.. but she got angry and cried. If i fb'ed her she wouldn't reply, and i think by talking on the phone she could hang up or idk.. so yeah..

    If you don't want her to control you stop making excuses and stand up for yourself.

    Adults handle things in an adult manner, and that's face to face.

    If she's your good friend perhaps something else is going on in her life and you are getting the backlash. Have you tried talking to her calmly?
  • Sep 7, 2012, 03:56 PM
    Itsmebytheway
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    If you don't want her to control you stop making excuses and stand up for yourself.

    Adults handle things in an adult manner, and that's face to face.

    If she's your good friend perhaps something else is going on in her life and you are getting the backlash. Have you tried talking to her calmly?
    Okay.. as I've said I've tried talking to her face to face. Yes.. I've talked to her calmly, I'm not the type to yell at someone unless I'm very angry.

    • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:56 PM.