I really have been messing up my life pretty bad with lying. I've been with this great guy for years and I see myself with him forever but I just always have to bend the truth or just leave out certain things to make it better for me, but the real truth always comes out and I always feel like the biggest scum of the earth in the end, but then always try to make excuses as to why its not really my fault or why it happened the way it did. I feel like there's something wrong with me and I can't connect with other people and that I'm so different, I think sometimes I don't live in reality and that if I just don't think about it, it will go away and be forgotten about, and feel like I've messed up so bad I need to leave because what I'm doing to my boyfriend is so beyond repair, I just can't keep doing this to him, I'm 27 and never been on my own, and I'm scared to leave I just love him so much and feel like I've taken so much of his life from him, has anyone ever been in this situation?

You've been lying like this your whole life haven't you? For as long as you can remember? From the way you put it, it almost sounds like you are a Compulsive Liar. You can have a look at what it is on the link below. It tells you everything you need to know about Compulsive and Pathological Liars. If you feel as if you are a compulsive liar, then maybe a therapist could be in your future. Lying can be an addiction, just like any other and can be very hard to kick.

http://www.addictions.net/id272.html

I read the article and it seems to fit me... the only thing is that I do feel bad after I do it, or maybe its after they find out that I lied I feel bad? I think it might be the latter... I canr believe how much I messed up my life, but more importantly how much I've done to my boyfriend, how much I've messed him up; it breaks my heart to see what I've done to him and I know he has loved me with all his heart for so long and I just crapped all over it and I seem to do that with any type of relationship I've had with anyone I'm just so mean to people and I push them away but keep doing the same thing over and over, how do people live their lives hurting people all the time? I am just so flabbergasted at how I turned out like this.

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Originally Posted by soolost

I read the article and it seems to fit me...the only thing is that I do feel bad after I do it, or maybe its after they find out that I lied I feel bad? I think it might be the latter... I canr believe how much I messed up my life, but more importantly how much I've done to my boyfriend, how much I've messed him up; it breaks my heart to see what I've done to him and I know he has loved me with all his heart for so long and I just crapped all over it and I seem to do that with any type of relationship I've had with anyone I'm just so mean to people and I push them away but keep doing the same thing over and over, how do people live their lives hurting people all the time? I am just so flabbergasted at how I turned out like this.

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No I agree, you do show remorse for your lies, it's shown by your decision to come here for help. That website does tread a little on "Sociopaths" which is where you would be categorized if you didn't have remorse. I do think you are a"Compulsive Liar", It's apparent at the frequency of your lies, as you've described.

I don't think everything is lost just yet though. At least you know something is wrong. Many people will go a lifetime before realizing they have a problem. I do, however, suggest finding a therapist or a psychiatrist and further investigate this. I think a professional is in order to help diagnose and deal with this issue.

I wish you the best of luck!

I think personal and couples counseling would be the best thing for you. What country do you live in?