Funny Bumper Stickers About Men
- All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
- Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
- Grow your own dope, plant a man.
- All men are idiots... I married their king.
- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
CIA Job
A college graduate applied for a job at the Central Intelligence Agency. Together with several other applicants, he was given a sealed envelope and told to take it to the fourth floor.
As soon as the young man was alone, he stepped into an empty hallway and opened the packet. Inside, a message read: "You're our kind of person. Report to the fifth floor."
The Perfect Job
- My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn't concentrate.
- After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it... mainly because it was a so-so job.
- Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn't have the thyme.
- Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
- I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
- I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
- Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
- Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
- So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
- After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
- I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
- My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
- I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
- My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
