I have a daughter in law that absolutely does not like me. It is not because of anything I am doing to her, it is the fact she does not like that way I raised my son, that I am over weight, that (as she describes) I walk around thinking I know everything. She is trying to alienate me from my son and granddaughter. My daughter in law is from Thailand and my son is Caucasian and in the military. When I first met her, I thought so highly of her until she came to the states(from Guam) for the first time and they stayed (son on leave) with my husband and I. My daughter in law did not like, as she puts it, my demands. All I wanted her to do is not put a lot of water on the granite tops and on furniture. I politely asked her to not and told her the reason. After that, it all went down hill. She stayed in bedroom 90% of the time. My son told us throughout the months(they have been married now for 3 years) that she absolutely dislikes us. When we go over to their house, she is so cold toward us. My son tells me she makes rude remarks about my weight; he tried to give his daughter a cookie, and my daughter in law went bullistic and told him do you our daughter to get fat like your mom? This is what I am contending with. I just do not want to hear anything that comes out of our daughter in law's mouth anymore. What is the best way to handle all of this? I need some good sound advice.

Thanks for listening,
Bridget

Talking is always best you need to tell each other everything this could be hard but you need to get everything out and let her know what you think.Its good that she doesn't try and separate your son from you guys so its not to serious yet my mother in law is very rude and alwaysseens as though she doesn't want me around I want her to just tell me what the problem is I am thinking its because it seems as though I have stolen her son away from her or something anyway you need to tell each other what's up and don't ask your son to take sides if he is happy in the relationship then you don't want to mess with that Goodluck

I would invite my son out to lunch, just the two of you, and tell him what you are feeling. Let him know how highly you thought of your daughter in law when you first met her. Explain that she became upset with you when you told her how to care for your granite countertops and your furniture, when you only had the best intentions. Tell him how she makes you feel since that time. He may not realize how this all started, but he should hear it from you. Knowing how hurtful she can be, maybe he can speak with her. I'm not saying she is wrong and you are right. What I am saying is that a truce needs to be called so you can develop a relationship with your granddaughter. Hopefully, your son can find out what exactly went wrong and work on helping you two get along for the sake of the baby.