So I will make this short. My ex girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago and we've had no contact for 1 month, I was a bit stalkers at first because she never explained why she didn't want to be with me. It was long distance I may add and we only saw each other two weekend a month. Anyway, she text me this evening telling me she was watching something and it reminded her of me. It was weird as I was thinking about the same thing earlier randomly. She wished me luck for my final year at uni. I replied thanking her and told her I had had the same feeling earlier in. She then told me she was watching something else we used to watch and she hopes I don't mind her texting me sometimes. I told her I wasn't happy about it as it was hurting me more and giving me false hope, she said sorry and she wanted to talk because she still thinks and cares about me and she broke up with me because she wants to put her time into things that make her happier. She said she didn't want to be single to mess around and said she is feeling very selfish atm and wants to focus on herself. I accepted that and told her that she shouldn't text me back as I'm moving on and she is making things worse.

Did I do the right thing and any idea why she text me?

I'm sorry about how muddled this is, I'm writing this on my phone.

I do want her back may I add.

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Originally Posted by drumlegend

So I will make this short. My ex girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago and we've had no contact for 1 month, I was a bit stalkers at first because she never explained why she didn't want to be with me. It was long distance I may add and we only saw each other two weekend a month. Anyway, she text me this evening telling me she was watching something and it reminded her of me. It was weird as I was thinking about the same thing earlier randomly. She wished me luck for my final year at uni. I replied thanking her and told her I had had the same feeling earlier in. She then told me she was watching something else we used to watch and she hopes I don't mind her texting me sometimes. I told her I wasn't happy about it as it was hurting me more and giving me false hope, she said sorry and she wanted to talk because she still thinks and cares about me and she broke up with me because she wants to put her time into things that make her happier. She said she didn't want to be single to mess around and said she is feeling very selfish atm and wants to focus on herself. I accepted that and told her that she shouldn't text me back as I'm moving on and she is making things worse.

Did I do the right thing and any idea why she text me?

I'm sorry about how muddled this is, I'm writing this on my phone.

I do want her back may I add.

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Maybe she wants closure. I don't know that it matters much.

It's over.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Maybe she wants closure. I don't know that it matters much.

It's over.

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She ended it with me... It's me who wants closure and she never gave me that.

So I will make this short. My ex girlfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago and we've had no contact for 1 month, I was a bit stalkers at first because she never explained why she didn't want to be with me. It was long distance I may add and we only saw each other two weekend a month. Anyway, she text me this evening telling me she was watching something and it reminded her of me. It was weird as I was thinking about the same thing earlier randomly. She wished me luck for my final year at uni. I replied thanking her and told her I had had the same feeling earlier in. She then told me she was watching something else we used to watch and she hopes I don't mind her texting me sometimes. I told her I wasn't happy about it as it was hurting me more and giving me false hope, she said sorry and she wanted to talk because she still thinks and cares about me and she broke up with me because she wants to put her time into things that make her happier. She said she didn't want to be single to mess around and said she is feeling very selfish atm and wants to focus on herself. I accepted that and told her that she shouldn't text me back as I'm moving on and she is making things worse.

Did I do the right thing and any idea why she text me?

I'm sorry about how muddled this is, I'm writing this on my phone.

You did the right thing.
The person doing the dumping, who isn't in any pain, often forgets that they can't just 'be friends' and can't resist old memories during a lonely moment. It does NOT mean she wants to get back together.
You couldn't have said it better.

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Originally Posted by drumlegend

She ended it with me... It's me who wants closure and she never gave me that.

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You have closure - she doesn't want to see you any more.

What else do you need?

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You have closure - she doesn't want to see you any more.

What else do you need?

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The fact that she never explained why she left me in the first place, it took her 2 months to tell me that she wanted to do things that make her happier. I guess that is enough now. Doesn't explain why she needs closure though, she ended it with me.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

You did the right thing.
The person doing the dumping, who isn't in any pain, often forgets that they can't just 'be friends' and can't resist old memories
during a lonely moment. It does NOT mean she wants to get back together.
You couldn't have said it better.

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Thank you, it just gives me false hope when she texts me, makes me think there is still something there and she ruined my weekend. I travelled back to see my family to get away and she had to text. I had her on my mind all weekend and I wanted to text her so so much and I stopped myself but she tested me. It's things like that that make me think that we are somehow connected. I know that sounds silly.

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Originally Posted by drumlegend

Thank you, it just gives me false hope when she texts me, makes me think there is still something there and she ruined my weekend. I travelled back to see my family to get away and she had to text. I had her on my mind all weekend and I wanted to text her so so much and I stopped myself but she tested me. It's things like that that make me think that we are somehow connected. I know that sounds silly.

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Texted*

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Originally Posted by drumlegend

The fact that she never explained why she left me in the first place, it took her 2 months to tell me that she wanted to do things that make her happier. I guess that is enough now. Doesn't explain why she needs closure though, she ended it with me.

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She doesn't owe you an explanation - "I'm done with the relationship is usually enough."

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

She doesn't owe you an explanation - "I'm done with the relationship is usually enough."

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I clearly didn't explain the whole situation. She did owe me that after the way she treated me near the end. She even admitted she has been a . You seem to be being a bit biased her even though she is doing the wrong thing by texting me when I'm healing?

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Originally Posted by drumlegend

I clearly didn't explain the whole situation. She did owe me that after the way she treated me near the end. She even admitted she has been a . You seem to be being a bit biased her even though she is doing the wrong thing by texting me when I'm healing?

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She has been a bi*ch

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Originally Posted by drumlegend

I clearly didn't explain the whole situation. She did owe me that after the way she treated me near the end. She even admitted she has been a . You seem to be being a bit biased her even though she is doing the wrong thing by texting me when I'm healing?

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I'm not biased at all. If you don't want to hear from her, delete her texts without reading them.

No - she doesn't owe you an explanation. One would certainly be nice - but "owe" you? I don't think so.

If you want to heal stop having any contact with her - as long as she can play you, she will.

There is never really closure in break ups, one side seldom tells the truth and are either being too nice or too mean when they tell you about it.

You need to walk away.

Stop opening her text, just delelte and forget.

Technically, no, she doesn't owe you an explanation. Sure, it would be nice if you could get one but that isn't how it usually works.

You handled this well though. Telling her to stop contacting you because it hurts you was perfectly fine and even the sensible thing to do.

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Originally Posted by odinn7

Technically, no, she doesn't owe you an explanation. Sure, it would be nice if you could get one but that isn't how it usually works.

You handled this well though. Telling her to stop contacting you because it hurts you was perfectly fine and even the sensible thing to do.

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Thank you, I told her in the past to only text me if she wanted me back so I was a bit hurt when she text me then. I do want her back but I know that's probably not going to happen.

You need to be ANGRY that she texted you. I know that's hard to do when you are still in love, but think of how selfish she's being. Not only was she perhaps a little lonely, but she also might have been wanting to get a little jolt of suffering on your part. Testing you to see how much pain you are in or not. UGH, who needs it? Who needs to be toyed with? If she wants you back she has to say 'I want you back.' For all intents and purposes, you MUST assume that she doesn't want you back. And the odds are against it anyway.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

You need to be ANGRY that she texted you. I know that's hard to do when you are still in love, but think of how selfish she's being. Not only was she perhaps a little lonely, but she also might have been wanting to get a little jolt of suffering on your part. Testing you to see how much pain you are in or not. UGH, who needs it? Who needs to be toyed with? If she wants you back she has to say 'I want you back.' For all intents and purposes, you MUST assume that she doesn't want you back. And the odds are against it anyway.

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I am angry at her for doing it, I don't want to be played a fool. I told her that the only reason that she should text me is if she wants me back. I won't show her that I'm angry ever though and I won't beg her, I won't even suggest we get back together. If she ever did want me back then she can do the running.

You are Doing The Right Thing.
And you sound like you understand it all too.
It's never easy though.

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Originally Posted by joypulv

You are Doing The Right Thing.
And you sound like you understand it all too.
It's never easy though.

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Thank you for your help :-)