Me and my boyfriend have been together.for three years now.. The.first year was great.. Then he.went into hanging with.his.friends and leaving me till 3 in the morn. Then one day on a superbowl Sunday... He and I had.gotten into a.drunken argument and.it.turned ugly! I left him for a month.. And I was great doing my.own thing living.life for me and my son. Then I seen him again.. And slowly we started to talk then secretly meet.. Then.got back together.. I.love this man with everything I have.. Lately he had been talking wrong.to me calling me names.. Then said sorry he thinks he is.bi polar and says.stuff without.thinking and can't stop... He recently just put his hands on me again. I want and need to leave. But I.love him... I know I need to leave.. But I can't I.have.no.where.to.go and we signed a lease and moved.in with each other a week ago.. This was supposed to be our happy home :(

Love is blind, but it doesn't have to be stupid too. Not saying you're stupid for staying, but sometimes the reasons we stay really don't make a lot of sense.

Can I ask why you love this man? What is it about him that you love? Do those things outweigh how he treats you? What about your son, does he abuse your son too?

Love isn't enough. A dog will love an owner even if it beats him, but the dog doesn't have the option to leave. You have the option. Don't you think you deserve love and respect?

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Originally Posted by Alty

Love is blind, but it doesn't have to be stupid too. Not saying you're stupid for staying, but sometimes the reasons we stay really don't make a lot of sense.

Can I ask why you love this man? What is it about him that you love? Do those things outweigh how he treats you? What about your son, does he abuse your son too?

Love isn't enough. A dog will love an owner even if it beats him, but the dog doesn't have the option to leave. You have the option. Don't you think you deserve love and respect?

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I love him. Because I have had a bad child hood growing up between both parents.. And also.. He is the only.ine who gets me and sticks around.. And no.he has never talked.down or.hit my.son he loves him with a passion and I think that captures my heart the most... I know I deserve better.. Its easier said then done. Im very attractive.24 year old. I know there are others out there.. But I Don't KNOW WHY I STAY. Its frusterating!. & killing me on the inside.. Like for instance. He kicked me out.last.night I jave no where to go.. I pack my things today which was our who our whole house.. He gets mad says if.im.not put.by the time he gets.home he.isnthrowing my stuff out an.. For some reason I unpacked everything... And cooked him dinner.. Its 1 in the am here. He isn't home. My son is.with my mom for the night.. And I'm staying.my best to stay awake.. Dun no.what to.expect very sleepy and scared. My plan is to.stay with him till I find myself and then leave after I.better myself.. Sorry for all the typos I'm so tired. And hate my touch screen!

I had a bad childhood too. Not my parents, but others that made my life a living hell. Do you think you deserve to be treated badly because you were treated badly as a child?

I can tell you that I met a wonderful man, because I finally learned to love myself, and not always go after men that I knew would only treat me the way I expected to be treated. I met that wonderful man when I was 19, and we've now been together for 22 years.

By staying, you're allowing this to happen. I understand times are tough, money is tight, you're scared to be alone. But staying just because you can't afford to leave, that's no excuse. There are homeless shelters, there is help available if you really want to leave. You're choosing to stay. Once you realize that, then maybe you'll see this situation for what it is.

He gets you and sticks around, and he doesn't beat your child, even though he claims to be bi-polar and not able to control his moods. Seems like you're the only one he can't control them with, because you're the only one he wishes to control.

You need help, more help than we can offer you on this site. I hope things go well tonight and he doesn't beat you too severely when he gets home. Personally, I would already have my bags packed, and I'd be going to your mothers house where your son already is.

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Originally Posted by Alty

I had a bad childhood too. Not my parents, but others that made my life a living hell. Do you think you deserve to be treated badly because you were treated badly as a child?

I can tell you that I met a wonderful man, because I finally learned to love myself, and not always go after men that I knew would only treat me the way I expected to be treated. I met that wonderful man when I was 19, and we've now been together for 22 years.

By staying, you're allowing this to happen. I understand times are tough, money is tight, you're scared to be alone. But staying just because you can't afford to leave, that's no excuse. There are homeless shelters, there is help available if you really want to leave. You're choosing to stay. Once you realize that, then maybe you'll see this situation for what it is.

He gets you and sticks around, and he doesn't beat your child, even though he claims to be bi-polar and not able to control his moods. Seems like you're the only one he can't control them with, because you're the only one he wishes to control.

You need help, more help than we can offer you on this site. I hope things go well tonight and he doesn't beat you too severely when he gets home. Personally, I would already have my bags packed, and I'd be going to your mothers house where your son already is.

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Hearing your advice. Im leaving.now to my.moms. Thank you

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Originally Posted by Jenncm1

hearing ur advice. Im leaving.now to my.moms. Thank you

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You're more than welcome, and I'm so glad you're making this decision. Please let me know that you're safe, and that you're doing okay. If you need to talk, I'm here, as well as many others on this site.

Stay safe.

I think you love being in a relationship and you're attracted to him. This is not love though and you need to move on because your love for your child should require you to demand more for yourself. If your child is a daughter, being in an abusive relationship is what you will teach her to do. If your chidl is a son, being in an abusive relationship is what you are teaching him to do.

The alcohol is also a problem. Once you're a parent, you really need to get yourself in a place in life where drinking to get drunk or being around people who do is a thing of the past. A glass of wine with your friends - no problem. A beer at a cookout - fine. But drinking to the point of name-calling and abusiveness? Not ever OK.

I would recommend you get counseling for yourself and learn how to improve your life circumstances on your own, without the help of any man. When you work through the pain of your childhood and have a clear vision of what life can be that's positive, you will attract the right guy and won't have to try to change him or tolerate this kind of behavior.

Many abusive people can be very charming, and they can also be very needed and make others feel worthwhile because they need you so completely. This is not really love though. Love feels safe, secure, reliable - it's not without passion but it's not ALL passion, either. Good luck to you but please don't stay with this guy - he's bad news for you, and he's stopping the right man from finding you.

It's not love. Just because he sticks around doesn't mean that it's worth him beating you. Even though he doesn't touch your son, he could potentially blow up one day and hurt him. Even if he doesn't, you're putting your son through a traumatic period in his life when he witnesses or knows that you're being hurt by your boyfriend. People who grow up in this sort of environment often develop serious issues and even gravitate towards abusive partners or become abusers themselves. Don't subject your son to this sort of person.

Abuse rarely disappears. It only escalades. So for the sake of your son and you, please leave. A lease doesn't mean you have to continue taking his abuse. Leave and go to a friend's or a family member's home.

Always remember, you deserve a life that is free from abuse and manipulation. You are worth so much more than you think you are. Wish you and your son all the best.