I have custody of my daughter who is starting to single handedly destroy my everyday life with problem after problem. Can I make my ex take her? We have joint custody of our kids, he has primary of my son (16)and I have primary of my daughter (12). He says he will take her but has to wait for a bigger apartment to open up. Can I force that now? What are my options. I cannot live with her any longer.

Such a loving parent, can't wait to get rid of their child.

No there is nothing you can do NOW. You can file in court to amend the current custody order, giving the other parent custody of both, but he can object.
Of course you will owe child support when he takes custody of both. So it all needs to go though the courts anyway.

How exactly is this child ruining your life ?

You can make a large apartment that's not available now open up sooner?

Where do you expect her to sleep? On the couch?