The other day my sister in law invited me for dinner at her place and she had some things there that make me think that she had a baby shower. And I asked her did you had a baby shower and she smiled and looked at me and said Yes. I said OK. I didn't said or asked any thing. Except pictures and she said she don't have pics, her friend has all of them. I said OK. Its sound very rude to me and I was very disturbed. Why she didn't invite me or didn't event mentioned about her baby shower. I think we have good relationship. She sometimes say rude things to me like your daughters look like your husband she mentioned this couple of time but I didn't get her point then one day she told me when I had a gathering at my house in front of my friend that one of my friend was saying that you are not beautiful but your daughters are very cute. I was surprised and thought she is immature. I didn't replied to her and gave her a confusing look and then I start talking to my friend. I am very confused why is she doing these type of things. She also lied to me and my mother in law for no reason. My husband is not bother by these things. May be he is just ignoring it I don't know. But ? I am pissed.

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Originally Posted by Anna246

The other day my sister in law invited me for dinner at her place and she had some things there that make me think that she had a baby shower. and i asked her did you had a baby shower and she smiled and looked at me and said Yes. i said OK. i didn't said or asked any thing. except pictures and she said she don't have pics, her friend has all of them. i said ok. its sound very rude to me and i was very disturbed. Why she didn't invite me or didn't event mentioned about her baby shower. I think we have good relationship. she sometimes say rude things to me like your daughters look like your husband she mentioned this couple of time but i didn't get her point then one day she told me when i had a gathering at my house in front of my friend that one of my friend was saying that you are not beautiful but your daughters are very cute. I was surprised and thought she is immature. I didn't replied to her and gave her a confusing look and then i start talking to my friend. I am very confused why is she doing these type of things. she also lied to me and my mother in law for no reason. My husband is not bother by these things. May be he is just ignoring it i don't know. but ? I am pissed.

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Who was the baby shower for? Someone you know?

She's doing these things because she knows they bother you and she can get under your skin.

I'd stop reacting and I'd ignore her.

I also would be happy I wasn't invited to the shower.

For herself. She had baby last night.

She gave herself a baby shower?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

She gave herself a baby shower?

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No, one of her frd did that. But I think they ask you if you want to invite some one or not. My frds gave me a baby shower and they ask me if I want to invite some one from my family/ friends or not.

Both my baby showers were surprises. I wasn't told of either one, and therefore didn't have any say who to invite. My friends did their best, but some people were left off the list.

It doesn't sound like the two of you have a good relationship. But, if that's the case then why invite you to dinner?

Maybe she didn't have a say who to invite to this shower. Maybe there was a limit for the amount of people she could have, and she didn't have room to invite everyone.

Why not tell her how you feel about this. Whatever she says, don't let this affect how you feel about the baby. Get a nice gift, congratulate her, and try to build a better relationship with her. Ignore her rude comments, shower her with kindness, and see if that works. :)

No one consulted me before giving me bridal or baby showers.

Have you given her a baby gift?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

No one consulted me before giving me bridal or baby showers.

Have you given her a baby gift?

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I am going to visit her tonight after work and give her $500. And card and balloon. She got her baby last night around 11:30 PM. So I amplanning to go today.

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Originally Posted by Anna246

i am going to visit her tonight and give her $500. and card and balloon.

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I wish someone would have invited you to MY baby shower! Nice gift!

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Originally Posted by Anna246

i am going to visit her tonight after work and give her $500. and card and balloon. she got her baby last night arround 11:30 PM. so i amplanning to go today.

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I'll be your sister- in -law. Come on over. :)

That's very generous.

I would not take offense to being excluded from the baby shower unless the new baby's other aunts were invited. It is not unusual or inappropriate for a guest list to be limited to a certain social group such as people from work, close friends of the person honored, neighbors or just family. It's not unusual either to limit to just one side of the family. Also, these things are sometimes a surprise, in which case the new mother would not have been involved in coming up with the guest list.

I would, however, be very offended by nasty remarks about you. It is not offensive to point out that the children look like their father - people commonly will say things like, "she looks just like Josh at that age, or wow - she's really starting to look like you but I see her dad in her, too". These are just benign observations and not meant as a slight to either parent. It's entirely different, however, to point anyone out as being more attractive than anyone else.

I had a nasty sister in law (I'm divorced and not dealing with her is the silver lining of that bad experience). She often said disparaging, rude things about me and I just called her on it, every time that it was done in my presence. I'd just say things like, "wow, that was a really nasty thing to say - having lunch with you is like being under sniper fire". She never changed but I had a lot of laughs over what I came up with to put her in her place, and also got a lot of support by putting it out there that I thought she was being a jerk. It doesn't have to be witty or funny - turn the table on her by saying something not even meant to be funny like, "you know, Karen, just so you don't embarass yourself again by making such a thoughtless remark, it's really not socially acceptable to call people unattractive to their face. It's considered rude and hurtful."

I am the only sister in law and family member who lives here, she don't know many people here is US. She just moved here in last November. I am sure, her neighbor knows that she only has one family member that live here and can come to the baby shower. I don't think that she invited too many people. Yes you are right it is very unethical to say something like that on some one face. She might have some type of jealousy or some people like to annoy other people, I am not saying any thing to her I don't like to hurt people and by saying nasty things she is showing me her real face that is not beautiful!

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Originally Posted by Anna246

I am the only sister in law and family member who lives here, she don't know many people here is US. she just moved here in last November. I am sure, her neighbor knows that she only has one family member that live here and can come to the baby shower. i don't think that she invited too many people. Yes you are right it is very unethical to say something like that on some one face. She might have some type of jealousy or some people like to annoy other people, i am not saying any thing to her I don't like to hurt people and by saying nasty things she is showing me her real face that is not beautiful!!

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I learned a very long time ago to respond like this - when people make an inappropriate comment about anyone I know, about me, I look them straight in the face and say, "Why would you say that? (or ask that?)" That always ends the conversation

If they do say, "It was a joke" I say, "It's not funny."

Shuts them up every time.

So, we went to meet my sister in law's new baby on Sunday. And I took one soft Toy as we already gave her $500 Gift. I thought it would be nice if I give her some toy as we are going to her place. I am working mom I have two daughters one is 5 and other is 1.5 years old. MY sister in law served us Cake and while eating the cake I mentioned that I have headache and just realized that I forgot to eat lunch today. As I cleaned my house today and washed and polished my car I am feeling so tired. She mind it and her hubby fight with me over the fone :S I didn't see anything wrong with it if I mentioned that I am hungry :S . He said you supposed to bring lunch for us on your father death we brought lunch for you and you complained that you were hungry. I was surprised by his comment. We gave them first night dinner and soup/broth for 4 days. Is it that bad if I said that I am hungry and having headache. He said your attitude was so cold, but when I reached their house after hugging her wife I took baby from her, loved her and she slept in my arms. But he was not satisfied , then I said him if you want to fight there is so many things to fight over, then I complaint about his and his wife attitude, he get so mad and said that it happened 6 year ago, I know you never forgive people. And hung up on me. If he was right he should explain me, I never mentioned that thing before he never said sorry to me. Then how come he want that people forgive him or forget his things. I think no one forget such things.

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Originally Posted by Anna246

So, we went to meet my sister in law’s new baby on Sunday. And I took one soft Toy as we already gave her $500 Gift. I thought it would be nice if I give her some toy as we are going to her place. I am working mom I have two daughters one is 5 and other is 1.5 years old. MY sister in law served us Cake and while eating the cake I mentioned that I have headache and just realized that I forgot to eat lunch today. As I cleaned my house today and washed and polished my car I am feeling so tired. She mind it and her hubby fight with me over the fone :S I didn’t see anything wrong with it if I mentioned that I am hungry :S . he said you supposed to bring lunch for us on your father death we brought lunch for you and you complained that you were hungry. I was surprised by his comment. We gave them first night dinner and soup/broth for 4 days. Is it that bad if I said that I am hungry and having headache. He said your attitude was so cold, but when I reached their house after hugging her wife I took baby from her, loved her and she slept in my arms. but he was not satisfied , then i said him if you want to fight there is so many things to fight over, then I complaint about his and his wife attitude, he get so mad and said that it happened 6 year ago, i know you never forgive people. and hung up on me. if he was right he should explain me, I never mentioned that thing before he never said sorry to me. then how come he want that people forgive him or forget his things. i think no one forget such things.

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I think everybody is acting like a child. Why do you even try to be family and/or friends with these people?

"If he ws right he should explain me"? I don't think he owes you an explanation. Why do you keep arguing with him. They obviously think you're a chronic complainer, that's very clear.

So stay away from them!

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Originally Posted by Anna246

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What does this mean?

Saying you didn't eat lunch and were hungry while being served cake IS petty, it IS spoiling for a fight, it IS a thinly veiled rebuke for not being invited to the shower. It is absolutely silly to be home washing your car and cleaning and not grab some lunch. It is so contrived that I just automatically think 'this person wants to fight.' It's also in how and when you say it, and we weren't there, but just hearing this says to me that you two need to stay away from each other - perhaps you are too much alike.

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Originally Posted by Anna246

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It means she thought better of it and "removed" what she posted (which was insulting, as I recall).

I'll never understand why this is an option. It tells a lot more about the OP than it says about any of "us" who have responded.

No wonder the "in-law" is unhappy. Apparently the "in law" has known her for years and doesn't like her.

It took me 5 minutes.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

It means she thought better of it and "removed" what she posted (which was insulting, as I recall).

I'll never understand why this is an option. It tells a lot more about the OP than it says about any of "us" who have responded.

No wonder the "in-law" is unhappy. Apparently the "in law" has known her for years and doesn't like her.

It took me 5 minutes.

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I'm beginning to see the SIL's point of view as well. THe OP (original poster) is not polite, very rude, and does her best to cause fights.

No wonder she wasn't invited to the baby shower. Also, that explains the $500 gift. She's trying to buy a conscience because she knows she's in the wrong.