I just recently went through a long drawn out nasty divorce. My boyfriend and I agreed that we would wait to have sex until after my divorce was final. Well it is final and for some reason that I am unaware of he still does not want to have sex. I don't know how to come out and ask him why he won't. So confused!

Sometimes things are better left unsaid. Show him. Be the initiator :)

Unless of course he is not a sexual person in general... I know this always works for me ;)

I have tried so many times and it seems as if he has some kind of super strong will power to just turn the mood off like the flick of a switch, but has no other problems with me in the bedroom. It almost seems as though he has some kind of issue of commitment like he doesn't want to go to that level and end up hurt again like he has in the past. We have been together now 4 years and we know pretty much everything about each other. Am I reading into this too much? Should I leave well enough alone for now and take it 1 day at a time and see what happens?

Well it seems you've been playing this day by day for awhile and it's not gotten far.

Have you ever discussed this with him before? Is he aware you're ready?

You're really going to have to come right out and ask him... discuss this with him openly or you may be wondering for years.

You have been dating this guy for four years and no sex?

That's what I was wondering too, Homegirl... Also, how can you have just recently gone through a divorce while you were dating someone else for 4 years already? So I'm assuming you met your current boyfriend just after you separated and it took close to 4 years for the divorce to finalise?

You've been with him 4 years and don't know how to ask him why he does not want to have sex?
Just ask him!
Maybe he's getting it elsewhere

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Maybe he's getting it elsewhere

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I would be if I had to wait 4 yrs. Just sayin'