Just half hour back at University campus, I asked guy for match box. He handed me over with a tight lip, after he got it back from previous borrower. I could not light it in a single stick so I asked for it again. He frustratingly gave it to me and said "you can keep it" I was shocked at his behaviour and just thanked him peacefully while returning. I am in class right now and not able to deal with it.
Ps: its not every time I go around asking match sticks or lighter. I have my own and expensive one, just that I left it at my apartment today.

It's just a matchbox. He probably figured you needed it more than he did. It's not like they're expensive. Don't worry about it.

The way he said it apparently showed dis-respect, insult and sarcasm. I feel like keeping half a dozen matches for needy people like me.

It was being nice, and it is a match box. The fact you are even giving this a second though worries me. Do you often worry about unimportant things ? Have other non realistic worries ?

But a couple simple issues.
Always carry yours
Or how about stop smoking, since it is a nasty habit

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Originally Posted by colorblind

The way he said it apparently showed dis-respect, insult and sarcasm. I feel like keeping half a dozen matches for needy people like me.

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He probably felt inconvenienced that he had to pull out the matches twice, and instead of putting them away and having to take them out a third time, decided to just let you have them.

I don't know that I'd call that disrespect. Rude maybe, but then he may feel the same way about someone asking him for a match twice within minutes.

I don't understand why this is a big deal. Is this a friend of yours?

Maybe he was in the middle of a conversation with someone? Maybe you weren't the second borrower, but the third or fourth? Maybe his father died yesterday or his girlfriend dumped him?
The words humiliation, dis-respect, insult, and sarcasm simply do not apply.
This is so trivial that I think you may have a serious need to examine your life and how you relate to people. You are giving yourself too much importance.

I once needed change for a dollar for a parking meter and asked people walking by on the street. They all ran by me looking annoyed. Turns out I was in an area of a lot of panhandlers. Before you get all concerned about how you are being treated, look at the situation.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by colorblind

The way he said it apparently showed dis-respect, insult and sarcasm. I feel like keeping half a dozen matches for needy people like me.

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Why is this so important to you? It seems like a very small incident in what is a busy World.

Do you often feel disrespected, insulted, like people are using sarcasm when dealing with you?

EDIT: I do note that you have had issues with feeling "ashamed" of your weight (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/weight...ds-692507.html) and feelings that people were "picking" on you - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...er-466885.html

Yeah... I feel so.. I don't know but in past a year and a half I feel I have become far more sensitive beyond acceptable limits. I have no balls remained within me even to go and say HI to the gal I have been staring (and even she) her since more than 8 months now. I feel like a loser, contradictory to what I was a couple of years back. For my juniors n all friends I was a champ.. confident handsome fun loving guy. They still feel the same about me and wonder I must be rocking all over my new university. But I am all down inside, all worn out. The last time I felt better when I foul-mouthed a friend-enemy classmate. Am I just overtaking myself or what the hell is wrong with me? Before doing anything I see myself from the World's point of view and need to fit in good. I don't know why the **** I am doing that. I hope you get it, I am just writing what's coming to my mind for me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by colorblind

yeah...I feel so..I dont know but in past a year and a half I feel I have become far more sensitive beyond acceptable limits. I have no balls remained within me even to go and say HI to the gal I have been staring (and even she) her since more than 8 months now. I feel like a loser, contradictory to what I was a couple of years back. For my juniors n all friends I was a champ..confident handsome fun loving guy. They still feel the same about me and wonder I must be rocking all over my new university. But I am all down inside, all worn out. The last time I felt better when I foul-mouthed a friend-enemy classmate. Am I just overtaking myself or what the hell is wrong with me? Before doing anything I see myself from the World's point of view and need to fit in good. I dont know why the **** I am doing that. I hope you get it, I am just writing whats coming to my mind for me.

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I'm wondering if you have some sort of depression. There are, of course, all sorts of medications involved and it's an illness in some cases, just like anything else. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

Have you discussed your feelings with any type of trained professional - perhaps an advisor, a Physician?

Most Universities have a psychological help available for their students. University is a stressful time, and many kids feel the pinch.

Why not see about making an appointment with the schools psychologist?

You probably caught him at a bad time and he was annoyed to be asked three times to loan something by strangers. I wouldn't worry about it. He had the option to refuse your request and he chose to honor it and then give you the box of matches.

I understand his feelings. I work in a major city and take the train into the city then walk about a half a mile from the station to my office, reversing the trip to go home in the evening. There are at least 5 people each way, every single day, asking me for things. One guy shakes a cup of change in my face every single day, twice a day. I often have people approach me at lunch, too, asking if I can spare money for them to get lunch, or if I have a cigarette or lighter and it's just incessant. Often I will be on my cell phone and they think nothing of interupting me.

I sometimes give people money but many of these folks make a career out of pan handling - they've done it for years and my feeling is that if they can stand on the street collecting money, they could stand in a booth and collect money for movie tickets or parking; they could stand at a counter in a store and take money for lottery tickets and cigarettes; they could park cars, carry bags - lots of jobs. So, I get annoyed.

This guy could have felt as I often do, and meant nothing rude toward you.