Ask Me Help Desk - Bf lasts too long during sex

But what I should really say is that he prolongs sex.
He will get into it, really fast, and as soon as he feels like he wants to he will slow down and speed up again.
It's like he is excercising.
It's not that I don't like sex, I love sex with him but only when it's in reasonable timing. He lasts for 90mins and upwards.
After a while it becomes unbearable, I'm no longer in the mood, I'm tired, exhausted and sore!
When he finishes I am so relieved.

I did ask indiscreetly once if he could wrap it up and he said I just don't want to stop. I just want to keep going. And that he enjoys not being a one minute man. And whilst that is lovely, I doubt he knows how much it annoys me.
He thinks he is doing me a favour.

It is especially bad when u aren't in the mood- he gets me in the mood- then goes for 2 hours.
I know I'm moaning and people will tell me to quit it, but it's really hard to withstand. I enjoy quickies with him.
So how do I tell him nicely? Every time I think of bringing up the subject I imagine how Hurt he will be :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keironkeller

But what I should really say is that he prolongs sex.
He will get into it, really fast, and as soon as he feels like he wants to he will slow down and speed up again.
It's like he is excercising.
It's not that I dont like sex, I love sex with him but only when it's in reasonable timing. He lasts for 90mins and upwards.
After a while it becomes unbearable, I'm no longer in the mood, I'm tired, exhausted and sore!!
When he finishes I am so relieved.

I did ask indiscreetly once if he could wrap it up and he said I just don't want to stop. I just want to keep going. And that he enjoys not being a one minute man. And whilst that is lovely, I doubt he knows how much it annoys me.
He thinks he is doing me a favour.

It is especially bad when u aren't in the mood- he gets me in the mood- then goes for 2 hours.
I know I'm moaning and people will tell me to quit it, but it's really hard to withstand. I enjoy quickies with him.
So how do I tell him nicely? Everytime I think of bringing up the subject I imagine how Hurt he will be :(

I don't know why he'd be hurt if you have honest concerns about the length of time he remains erect. If it's "especially bad," then you need to tell him. If it's painful you need to tell him.

If you are having sex you should be able to talk to him about sex.

You really need to be honest with him.

I could see if he was trying to please you first through sex.

It almost seems that he might take it the wrong way no matter how you tell him. Try to be as diplomatic as you can. If you aren't enjoying it, then you need to let him know that.

I for one, DO like when my lover takes his time. BUT, when I say that, I mean different postions and a lot of foreplay involved. You are saying that he is in an "upright" position for 90 minutes, so I can see how that would get to be tiresome, and perhaps even boring.

So, you should let him know.

There is a major difference between making love and stroking one's own ego. He appears to be doing more of the latter and less of the former.

Time to work on communications. You need to tell him the truth. He seems to think it is all about his control. It isn't. It is about listening to your partner's needs and finding what works for both of you.

Sit down with him when you are both fully clothed and not in the bedroom. Explain to him that you are finding it more difficult to get in the mood for sex. That you are beginning to feel like it is all about his needs and you need for him to think about yours. If he is abruptly changing tempo when he feels like it, then you can't do much more than lie there. Does he want an unresponsive partner?

I think you need to discuss with him what his concept of making love is. Explain to him what you prefer. You might put it terms of 'every woman is different and this is what really turns me on.' If he refuses to work with you, then you might have a better idea of how selfish he can be when it comes to his wants and needs.

If his ego is bruised, let him know that stamina isn't what makes a great lover. Working with your partner is a lot more pleasurable than acting like a piston in an engine.

If you talk about the issue, you should be able to find a compromise such as changing positions or stopping for a few to concentrate on another aspect of love making.

Good luck.

Thanks for your reply. I will try talking to him, although I'm sure his ego will be bruised for days.
Your right, he focuses way too much on stamina rather than anything else. I wouldn't say he's being selfish either, just... He's always trying to prove something, guess he does it sexually. Although he doesn't need to.
Thanks again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

There is a major difference between making love and stroking one's own ego. He appears to be doing more of the latter and less of the former.

Time to work on communications. You need to tell him the truth. He seems to think it is all about his control. It isn't. It is about listening to your partner's needs and finding what works for both of you.

Sit down with him when you are both fully clothed and not in the bedroom. Explain to him that you are finding it more difficult to get in the mood for sex. That you are beginning to feel like it is all about his needs and you need for him to think about yours. If he is abruptly changing tempo when he feels like it, then you can't do much more than lie there. Does he want an unresponsive partner?

I think you need to discuss with him what his concept of making love is. Explain to him what you prefer. You might put it terms of 'every woman is different and this is what really turns me on.' If he refuses to work with you, then you might have a better idea of how selfish he can be when it comes to his wants and needs.

If his ego is bruised, let him know that stamina isn't what makes a great lover. Working with your partner is a lot more pleasurable than acting like a piston in an engine.

If you talk about the issue, you should be able to find a compromise such as changing positions or stopping for a few to concentrate on another aspect of love making.

Good luck.

All we can say is talk to him. As for his ego, it's a compromise. You want this, he wants that, make sure he knows that. Don't lead him to believe its this way or no way. That will bruise his ego.

More info... she seems to have a guilt complex regarding sex too... plays into this as well.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ex-697719.html

Yes because your answer was most helpful.
Cat answered the q so it's fine.

QUOTE=smoothy;3252888]More info... she seems to have a guilt complex regarding sex too... plays into this as well.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ex-697719.html[/QUOTE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keironkeller

Yes because your answer was most helpful.
Cat answered the q so it's fine.

QUOTE=smoothy;3252888]More info...she seems to have a guilt complex regarding sex too....plays into this as well.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ex-697719.html

All I did was post a link to YOUR OWN statements.

And they ARE very relivent because they involve the same topic and same person.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

All I did was post a link to YOUR OWN statements.

And they ARE very relivent because they involve the same topic and same person.

Agreed!