Ask Me Help Desk - Removing name from birth certificate in Kansas

I have a 5 year old daughter, when she was conceived there was a possibility her father was 1 of 2 men. Man "a" signed the birth certificate knowing there was a possibility that she was not his. Man "b" knowingly abandoned her and wanted nothing to do w/ her from the day I told him I was pregnant and he could possibly be the father. When the state went after man "a" for childsupport he req a DNA test, coming back negative. 5 years later the state of Kansas found man "b" and made a court order for a DNA test which came up positive, which now he is required to pay child support. So now I'm in need of 2 answers. I need to remove man "a" off her birth certificate. And man "b" *biofather* is now requesting he gets 50% custody so he doesn't have to pay so much child support. He said, if I allow him to sign his rights over so he doesn't have to pay child support he will not want to be in any part of her life. So he does not want to legitimately see her. Which I was OK with trying to do mediation if he found a mediatior to get her to know her real father. But when I found out his request to see her was not legit, and he just wants to pay less/ or none child support, that raised a concern for her mental, emotional, and overall well being. As a mother the child support does help with her needs, so I do want to continue to receive the child support but I do not want him to see her and try to take advantage of a situation. What can/should I do?

*another little advise, I am in a relationship now that I have been in for 3.5 years, since my Daughter in this case was 1.5 years old. She does look at him as daddy and together man "c" the man I am with now have another child together. So he is that father figure for my 5 year old dauther and the biofather of my 1 year old.*

Quote:

Originally Posted by krouth2

I have a 5 year old daughter, when she was conceived there was a possibility her father was 1 of 2 men. Man "a" signed the birth certificate knowing there was a possibility that she was not his. Man "b" knowingly abandoned her and wanted nothing to do w/ her from the day I told him I was pregnant and he could possibly be the father. When the state went after man "a" for childsupport he req a DNA test, coming back negative. 5 years later the state of Kansas found man "b" and made a court order for a DNA test which came up positive, which now he is required to pay child support. So now I'm in need of 2 answers. I need to remove man "a" off of her birth certificate. and man "b" *biofather* is now requesting he gets 50% custody so he doesnt have to pay so much child support. He said, if I allow him to sign his rights over so he doesnt have to pay child support he will not want to be in any part of her life. So he does not want to legitimately see her. Which I was ok with trying to do mediation if he found a mediatior to get her to know her real father. But when I found out his request to see her was not legit, and he just wants to pay less/ or none child support, that raised a concern for her mental, emotional, and overall well being. As a mother the child support does help with her needs, so I do want to continue to receive the child support but I do not want him to see her and try to take advantage of a situation. What can/should I do?

*another little advise, I am in a relationship now that I have been in for 3.5 years, since my Daughter in this case was 1.5 years old. She does look at him as daddy and together man "c" the man I am with now have another child together. So he is that father figure for my 5 year old dauther and the biofather of my 1 year old.*

The Court which ordered DNA MIGHT order a change in the birth certificate. If not, a motion to make the change has to be filed and an order needs to be issued.

Support and visitation/custody are not related - you can have one and not the other.

The only way the bio father can walk away, give up his rights, however it's phrased, is to have someone else step in and ADOPT the child. It appears you are not married, so that is not going to happen.

Again - the father cannot sign away his rights.

The father is legally entitled to see his child. If you think he is a danger to the child (mentally or physically), then you need to go back to Court and prove it.

I have no idea what advice you are asking for here: "*another little advise, I am in a relationship now that I have been in for 3.5 years, since my Daughter in this case was 1.5 years old. She does look at him as daddy and together man "c" the man I am with now have another child together. So he is that father figure for my 5 year old dauther and the biofather of my 1 year old.*"

Your own statement is a problem: "As a mother the child support does help with her needs, so I do want to continue to receive the child support but I do not want him to see her and try to take advantage of a situation. What can/should I do?"

He was good enough to have sex with; he's good enough to pay child support; he's not good enough to have time with the child. Your own words hurt your argument against him. I'm sure he has better thinks to do than visit with a 5-year old in order to annoy you. The flip side of this is that he missed 5 years bonding with his daughter, watching her grow up, because you didn't know who the father was.

That's sad on all sides.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

The Court which ordered DNA MIGHT order a change in the birth certificate. If not, a motion to make the change has to be filed and an order needs to be issued.

Support and visitation/custody are not related - you can have one and not the other.

The only way the bio father can walk away, give up his rights, however it's phrased, is to have someone else step in and ADOPT the child. It appears you are not married, so that is not going to happen.

Again - the father cannot sign away his rights.

The father is legally entitled to see his child. If you think he is a danger to the child (mentally or physically), then you need to go back to Court and prove it.

I have no idea what advice you are asking for here: "*another little advise, I am in a relationship now that I have been in for 3.5 years, since my Daughter in this case was 1.5 years old. She does look at him as daddy and together man "c" the man I am with now have another child together. So he is that father figure for my 5 year old dauther and the biofather of my 1 year old.*"

Your own statement is a problem: "As a mother the child support does help with her needs, so I do want to continue to receive the child support but I do not want him to see her and try to take advantage of a situation. What can/should I do?"

He was good enough to have sex with; he's good enough to pay child support; he's not good enough to have time with the child. Your own words hurt your argument against him. I'm sure he has better thinks to do than visit with a 5-year old in order to annoy you. The flip side of this is that he missed 5 years bonding with his daughter, watching her grow up, because you didn't know who the father was.

That's sad on all sides.

I totally understand where you would think that. But he knew allll along from the day I was pregnant that there was a possibility that he could be the father, he changed his number, moved, and changed jobs... unreachable... I sent him multiple e-mails and pictures of her growing up and only response I got back from him was "leave me alone." And I have text messages from him since support has been ordered that he doesn't want a relationship w/ her, but if he has to "pay for her" then he's going to get 50% or more custody so he doesn't have to pay child support. I told both men that I was pregnant and there was a possibility that they could be the father. As far as my statement goes, I had originally agreed to do family mediation with him and her so she could get to know him if he found a mediator, as she is 5 and doesn't know him, so mentally, and emotionally it would be too confusing with out a mediatior, as she has known my youngests child's father as "daddy" for 3.5 years. Mind you once we spoke about family mediation, he agreed, then refused to follow through. That is why I say I want to protect her mentally and emotionally as he does not genuinely want to see her, he doesn't want to pay child support.

Quote:

Originally Posted by krouth2

I totally understand where you would think that. But he knew allll along from the day I was pregnant that there was a possibility that he could be the father, he changed his number, moved, and changed jobs... unreachable... I sent him multiple e-mails and pictures of her growing up and only response I got back from him was "leave me alone." And I have text messages from him since support has been ordered that he doesnt want a relationship w/ her, but if he has to "pay for her" then he's going to get 50% or more custody so he doesnt have to pay child support. I told both men that I was pregnant and there was a possibility that they could be the father. As far as my statement goes, I had originally agreed to do family mediation with him and her so she could get to know him if he found a mediator, as she is 5 and doesnt know him, so mentally, and emotionally it would be too confusing with out a mediatior, as she has known my youngests childs father as "daddy" for 3.5 years. Mind you once we spoke about family mediation, he agreed, then refused to follow through. That is why I say I want to protect her mentally and emotionally as he does not genuinely want to see her, he doesnt want to pay child support.

If this is true then both you and the man who signed the birth certificate committed fraud.

Paying support does not "entitle" him to 50% custody - for that matter, it doesn't "entitle" him to visitation.

He cannot sign off his rights. Legally, no, he cannot.

Does he have Court ordered visitation now? If not, do nothing. If he does, go to Court and prove he's a danger to the child. PROVE it.

OK, lets make this simple. Child support and custody visitation are separate. If he files for custody and visitation you have to prove he is only doing so to limit support.

But the bottom line is he is the father. Whatever he did before, will be considered by the court, but it may not be enough to eliminate custody/visitation. If the child is school age then the only way 50/50 will work is if he lives in the same school district. A court will not allow her to split schools.

As for the name change, if all parties agree this should be a simple order of the court to the agency that issues certificates.