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-   -   Break up hell. Please_help_me. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=69646)

  • Mar 7, 2007, 08:41 AM
    -rach-
    Break up hell. Please_help_me.
    I broke up with my boyfriend four months ago and still love him. He is over me. We were both going out with other people but I wasn't really into my new boyfriend because I was totally into my ex. I ended up sleeping with my ex twice while we were dating our new other halfs. I just split up with the new one but my ex told his new girlfriend that we slept together while they were going out and now everyone knows. They aren't talking. Thing is, everyone at college hates me now and people are constantly ing behind my back. No-one is angry with him. Thing is, he's the one who keeps on asking for it and I'm the one who turned him down in the end. He totally used me cause he knew I still loved him. I know what I did was wrong and I've never regretted anything so much. But how can I make everyone not hate me anymore and how can I get over him? He still keeps asking for sex.
    Please help, no one will talk to me so I have no one to turn to.
    Thank you
  • Mar 7, 2007, 08:48 AM
    talaniman
    If the lesson was learned then move on by staying busy building a life you enjoy with new friends and activities and above all tell him you want nothing to do with him at all and sever all ties and communications. Use the time to work on your own healing and happiness and leave the rest behind you as you move forward. Not easy I know, but very necessary.
  • Mar 7, 2007, 08:54 AM
    Synnen
    If everyone is THAT upset with you, it sounds like your ex is spreading rumors about you. Whether they are true or not, don't let people get to you. Approach the people you'd still like to be friends with, and ignore everyone else.

    Above all--GET RID OF THE EX FOR GOOD!

    If he loved you, he wouldn't do this to you. Can you really love someone who treats you so badly? Or are you just missing the relationship you had?

    My advice is to concentrate on school, make some new friends that aren't associated with the people around your ex, and move on.
  • Mar 7, 2007, 09:27 AM
    valinors_sorrow
    You are being offered some really big lessons in life just now. Ones like:

    1. Not keeping your honor above all else really can make a big mess.
    2. You can't force people to respect you after you helped create a mess that questions your honor.
    3. Your ex may have issued the invitation but you accepted, that is your part in it.
    4. You may have been used but it was with your permission.
    5. Being an adult means you are responsible for everything you think, feel or do.

    The only way out of this is to accept your part in it, change how you conduct your relationships and let those who don't see the new and improved you go by the wayside. It is not an easy lesson but I assure you its really worth learning. Integrity opens doors you didn't even know were there.

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