My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We knew each other before we ever started dating so it is not like a fling. We have lived together for 2 1/2 out of the 3 years. When we first moved in together we screwed like bunnies. At the time he was unemployed. However, once he got a full time job the sex started declining in amount and length. This was attributed by him to be caused by over tiredness. That excuse was plausible and seem true, but he has continued to decline after having his job for over two years now. I would think that two years would be enough time to adjust and get back into having sex at least once a week. Right now it has been 4 weeks and 4 days. And we have had several lengthy breaks from having sex like this one. I am wondering if he really could be that tired or if there is something else going on there. Why can he come home from work and then do nothing until bedtime aside from eating and showering, and then stay up watching TV, but won't come to bed 1 hour earlier to have sex. He is off every weekend and still nothing. What am I doing wrong.

Yes he really could be tired. Exhaustion is really a libido killer. If his job is a physically or mentally straining job than it is completely likely.

I think you need to have a bit of a discussion with him. It could be that you've gotten into a rut and need to figure out how to get out of it. It is hard to say what is happening here.

Having a lot of sex together in the beginning is normal but that's because it's the honeymoon period. It could be that his libido is naturally low as well. Has he been to a doctor recently? Does he smoke/pot/alcohol/the like?

Gee two or more years into a relationship after the lust wears off and sex slows down... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, that part sounds normal.

WHen he was unemployed and nothing to do he had lots of time and energy for sex because he had nothing productive to do... but then he got a job and a life and he's tires and doesn't have as much time and energy now... hhmmmmmmmmmm also sounds normal.

I agree that your sex life slowing down after being together for a while and after he started a job sounds normal. It makes sense that after a long day at work, he might be just too tired.

However, 4 weeks plus seems like a very long time to go without sex. Also, you mention that nothing happens on the weekends either when I presume (correct me if he's busy on the weekends as well) he should be able to get sufficient rest.

So, if his lack of desire/ability to have sex is not related to any health problems, I have a couple of thoughts. If you think the problem is that your bedroom activities have become a bit too routine, spice things up a bit (try new positions, dirty talk, sexy lingerie, etc. ). If you feel that he simply doesn't have the energy and that's killing his desire (whereas you seem to have both energy and desire) perhaps suggest positions in which you can do most of the movement and save him some effort. Also, if you're comfortable with it, I might suggest you offer to service him manually or orally (without the expectation of sex to remove any stress or pressure) in order to give his libido a jump start. Such an act would not require energy expenditure on his part and allowing him to see you as a sexual being that is aroused by him might boost his arousal for you in turn. Just a thought.

You sir are a you could have been less rude with your message

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Originally Posted by brekeith

you sir are a you could have been less rude with your message

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Gee... who is the touchy one here... I didn't see ANYONE being RUDE in this thread...

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Originally Posted by brekeith

you sir are a you could have been less rude with your message

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You pointed out that Smoothy was, in your opinion, being rude but didn't answer my questions.

This makes me curious how much you really want to fix this problem.

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

You pointed out that Smoothy was, in your opinion, being rude but didn't answer my questions.

This makes me curious how much you really want to fix this problem.

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Agreed! Please answer the questions provided. It will only help us help you.