I have recently been accused of having an affair with my friends long time on again off again boyfriend. My sister in law called my husband and told him that she had heard this from someone that she works with come to find out that was a lie. She heard it from this mans ex wife. I am now losing my husband because his sister did not know how to drop it and has my husband brain washed that I am lying to him. I don't know how to prove my innocence because I did not do anything in the first place. He states that he has phone records to prove that I have been talking to this other man but what he does not realize is that my friends phone is in this mans name. He asked me if I have ever been around this man and I admitted to being around him on different occasions but it has always been in public places. He has began to curse me and tell me I am a liar. He filed for a divorce on me and has threatened that if I don't do what he wants in the divorce he will prove me unfit and will take full custody of our 3 year old. This has gotten so bad that the ex wife has even showed up at my home and stated that my husbands sister gave her my address, but when I question him and he ask his sister of course she states she did not do anything and I am making things up. A little background on the sister her husband had an affair on her 3 years ago she filed for a divorce against him but then stopped it when she got pregnant with their 3rd child. I just need help on what I can do to prove my innocence because they are dragging my name through the mud. [

Your story sounds kind of shady to me. So you're calling a friend, who's phone is owned by a man with whom you are accused of having an affair? Why would this guy pay for your friend's phone? Why doesn't she have her phone in her own name?

Secondly, you've been in this man's company without your husband being included or told the truth about who you're spending time with. Whether it's in a public place means nothing. I can assure you if I met my neighbor's husband for lunch in a restaurant in full view of the general public, my neighbor would still not consider it to be OK. It's a dishonest thing to do.

I think your husband is right to file for divorce and you would do well to be honest with yourself about whether hanging out with people behind his back is appropriate. I am not married but when I was, my husband knew who I saw and hung around with - it was part of our normal daily conversation. If I ever felt like not telling him I was going to see or talk to someone, that would have been clear indication that I had no business seeing nor talking to that person.

I don't think I was real clear about what I meant by in public places. I did not have lunch with this man or anything like that what I meant by it was at town functions and retail stores we were not together I ran into him and sometimes he is with his girlfriend. The phone thing not everyone has the credit to get their own phone in there name and many boyfriends and girlfriend, husbands and wives share phone accounts. I have not hung out with this guy and would not ever hang out with a guy without my husband present that is just me. I value my family more than to let some friend ruin that. My father would cheat on my mother and I saw what it did to my family as a little girl. I would never do that to my children.

There is no way to prove this, perhaps lie detectors for you and the man?

But you hire an attorney, stop talking to your soon to be ex and don't listen to his threats, unless you are a unfit mother he can not prove it,

Even cheating does not make you unfit

You don't have to 'do what he wants in the divorce' to most likely keep 50/50 custody of your child. You would have to be alcoholic or doing drugs, have a criminal history, or have taken off. Just get a lawyer ASAP because he sounds like he will lie as much as he can (even if you are lying about this affair - I'm not going to judge on that). Salt away whatever cash you can too, and make sure you have copies of all important documents in the house.