Okay, I stand at 5"1, 135 pounds. Im not fat but its true that I could loose a few pounds. My boyfriend of 2 years started to tell me to do squats. He seemed to say it playfully at first. I assumed he was just telling me to fill my day up because I'm working only part time.

Then suddenly it wasn't playful anymore.

He became so persistent and then even angry because I brushed the request off. Finally I confronted him seriously about it and he flat out said he wanted me to loose weight. He was not mean about it and gave me the "it's for yourself speech" but I was devastated.

And here is why: I HAVE NOT GAINED WEIGHT SINCE WE MET.

That's what bothers me. Had I gained weight since we started dating I could at least understand it a bit. I don't understand why he suddenly wants to change my appearance, what's wrong with the girl he chose 2 years ago. If my body hasn't changed then what about him has changed?

What makes me ashamed even further is that I agreed to work out but when I do I'm just in a bad mood. All that runs through my head is him basically telling me I'm fat. I feel weak for giving into such a superficial demand. What has promted my boyfriend to suddenly want to change the way I look?

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Originally Posted by lp1990

Okay, I stand at 5"1, 135 pounds. Im not fat but its true that I could loose a few pounds. My boyfriend of 2 years started to tell me to do squats. He seemed to say it playfully at first. I assumed he was just telling me to fill my day up because I'm working only part time.

Then suddenly it wasn't playful anymore.

He became so persistent and then even angry because I brushed the request off. Finally I confronted him seriously about it and he flat out said he wanted me to loose weight. He was not mean about it and gave me the "it's for yourself speech" but I was devastated.

And here is why: I HAVE NOT GAINED WEIGHT SINCE WE MET.

That's what bothers me. Had I gained weight since we started dating I could at least understand it a bit. I don't understand why he suddenly wants to change my apperance, what's wrong with the girl he chose 2 years ago. If my body hasn't changed then what about him has changed?

What makes me ashamed even further is that I agreed to work out but when I do I'm just in a bad mood. All that runs through my head is him basically telling me im fat. I feel weak for giving into such a superficial demand. What has promted my boyfriend to suddenly want to change the way I look?

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The only person who knows why your boyfriend has changed is your boyfriend - sit him down and ask him why, if nothing has changed, his attitude has changed.

It's possible he's looking for an "out" and this is the one he has chosen.

If you resent him and are working out to make him happy you are making a mistake - but I'm sure you know this.

I agree, he may want to find a reason to blame YOU for him wanting to break up.

Perhaps someone he knows died of a heart attack

Perhaps one of his friends said something and he is very self conscience

Unless you ask him and talk to him, you will never know

There could be so many reasons. Maybe one of his friends recently got a new girlfriend that your boyfriend finds attractive and he is jealous. Maybe he has a new attractive co-worker. More often than not being with the same person for a long period one or both people will start to fantasize about other people that perhaps they see in there daily lives. Not necessarily focusing on one individual but anyone who maybe a bit skinnier, or may have a nicer figure, or is just a different person. Men always think about getting some "strange" (sex with a stranger). That is just the way men are. If a man says that's not true, he is lying. Men aren't picky they just want what they don't have. If a man is with a skinny girl he will fantasize about a bigger girl, if a man is with a bigger girl he will fantasize about a skinny girl, etc. etc. I doubt the issue just popped up out of nowhere. I'm sure he has been thinking about it for a while and just got around to saying something recently. Wish there was something I could suggest to do, but it's a tough spot. Good Luck

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

The only person who knows why your boyfriend has changed is your boyfriend - sit him down and ask him why, if nothing has changed, his attitude has changed.

It's possible he's looking for an "out" and this is the one he has chosen.

If you resent him and are working out to make him happy you are making a mistake - but I'm sure you know this.

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I did ask him what changed and his answer was and I quote "What's changed is I want you to loose weight." which ony served to make me more upset.

I think he should be happy with the way you are. That's just my opinion. You can't change someone just because its what "they want". I say tell him if he's not happy with the way you are then leave and find someone who will fit his "criteria". There's nothing wrong with you. The lord made you just the way you are for a reason.

He looks as good as the day you two met (and always will)?

And if you lose this weight he wants you to lose, then you will be perfect and he won't try to get you to make any other changes?

Well think about this way, he believes that you have the potential to be really really attractive when you lose some weight, try it! Its all for the better anyway, if he dumps you still you are already more attractive :)

You said he gave you the "it's for yourself" speech. That makes me wonder if he's maybe not worried so much about your appearance as about your health. Could that be a possibility? You said that when you talked to him he said he wants you to lose weight, but that doesn't reveal the reason why he suddenly wants you to lose weight. The "why" is key here.

Just don't be affected so much by this, workout and realize its really for you whatever happens right. I can even help you I am a personal trainer I can give you free advise and stuff

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Originally Posted by stanmatt

just dont be affected so much by this, workout and realize its really for you whatever happens right. I can even help you i am a personal trainer i can give you free advise and stuff

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To do the right thing for the wrong reason is pointless and self depreciating.

Change her weight for him and what will he want next?

Maybe he'll want her to be taller.

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Originally Posted by lp1990

I did ask him what changed and his answer was and I quote "What's changed is I want you to loose weight." which ony served to make me more upset.

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You should be upset because this is but the first step to domination, and control.

Lose weight for yourself and be happy doing it not because he told you