Ask Me Help Desk - Why my wife did get mad at me for masturbation?

Why my wife did get mad at me for masturbation?

I just got caught. She walked in the bedroom while I was doing it. We haven't had sex about 2 weeks. Before that we had sex once a week. I tried to have a sex but she didn't feel like it. So I masturbated. When she saw me her face was like that's so gross. And I finished and tried to talked to her are you mad. She never answered and locked me out of bedroom and still doesn't open the door.

So the reason you two aren't having sex is because she doesn't feel like it?

How old are you both? Also, how long has that been going on? Sexless life I mean.

Masturbation is apart of life... I could see her getting upset because she DOES want sex, and you are choosing masturbation over that. It doesn't seem to be the case, according to you... So, please, more details.

Whoa! What? She didn't want to have sex and now she's mad because you masturbated? How old is she, 18?

I masturbate every single day, and I can tell you that my husband and I don't have sex 7 days a week.

Masturbation is a healthy part of any sexual beings life. It's not a bad thing. Why does she not understand that?

How are things going when you two do have sex? Does she lay there waiting for it to be over? If she's this sensitive about masturbation, I'd venture to say that the sex isn't that great.

You two need to talk about sex, and a lot of other things. Sounds to me like she's very young, or very uneducated about sex. So talk to her, and then teach her that self pleasure is not a bad thing. In fact, you can self pleasure during sex. It's a good thing. She needs to learn that. Not only for your sake, but mostly for her own sake.

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Originally Posted by Enigma1999

So the reason you two aren't having sex is because she doesn't feel like it?

How old are you both? Also, how long has that been going on? Sexless life I mean.

Masturbation is apart of life.... I could see her getting upset because seh DOES want sex, and you are choosing masturbation over that. It doesn't seem to be the case, according to you... So, please, more details.

I'm 23. My wife 19. She has been sick nowadays. She said masturbation makes her feel bad. Because she can't please me. That's why she got mad

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calvinseok

I'm 23. My wife 19. She has been sick nowadays. She said masturbation makes her feel bad. Because she can't please me. That's why she got mad

She's 19. Not a surprise.

She has no idea how her body works, or how yours works. She's a kid.

I'm not at all surprised to find out that she's only 19. That's what I expected.

She won't be able to, nor is she responsible to "please" you until she can please herself and learn what sex is all about, how her body, and yours, works.

She's mad because she's a kid, and she doesn't understand. So explain it to her. Self pleasure is a huge deal. If she can't touch herself, can't bring herself pleasure, then she has no hope of getting you there, or telling you how to get her there.

Sex isn't something you're instantly good at. It's something that's learned, something that's taught. You two are married, so explore together. If she isn't willing to learn all aspects of sex, you're both screwed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calvinseok

I'm 23. My wife 19. She has been sick nowadays. She said masturbation makes her feel bad. Because she can't please me. That's why she got mad

If you don't mind... what illness does she have?

And yes, Alty is correct, she is only 19, so therefore she doesn't understand the masturbation is healthy AND normal.

Now, if you're like me, who chooses to stay at home on a Friday night to masturbate ten times in a row... THEN you might have a problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

If you don't mind...what illness does she have?

And yes, Alty is correct, she is only 19, so therefore she doesn't understand the masturbation is healthy AND normal.

Now, if you're like me, who chooses to stay at home on a Friday night to masturbate ten times in a row.....THEN you might have a problem.

Tease! Next Friday I'll be picturing that, and I'm not even gay, or bi, still... Oi! Tease! ;)

Now I have to ask, because I missed it. Illness?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

Now, if you're like me, who chooses to stay at home on a Friday night to masturbate ten times in a row.....THEN you might have a problem.

Thanks... NOW I have to clean my computer screen and keyboad now that I spewed Pepsi all over it...

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Thanks...NOW I have to clean my computer screen and keyboad now that I spewed Pepsi all over it.....

Good thing it was only pepsi. ;)

I was at work... it couldn't be a beer.

Yeah I know what you was hinting at however.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Yeah I know what you was hinting at however.

Yes... coffee...

Could have been something else sticky all over the screen and keyboard.

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Originally Posted by tkrussell

Could have been something else sticky all over the screen and keyboard.

That's what I assumed they meant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Thats what I assumed they meant.

Wonder what they're talking about?

Anyway - if masturbation takes the place of "real live sex," I have a problem. If it's in addition to OR one partner isn't in the mood, I don't have a problem.

But I see a young woman, not feeling well (possibly pregnant - ?), uncertain about herself, "not in the mood," walking in on her husband masturbating and all of her feelings and concerns and thoughts of inadequacy flooding over her. I honestly can.

And to the OP - isn't there a lock on your bathroom door? I have no problem with masturbating. I think it's a private activity, however, particularly when/if the partner has health issues.

I've posted this before - my late husband was an invalid for a very long period. He knew I masturbated. I knew it would make him feel inadequate on many levels. I respected his feelings AND I locked the door.

Quote:

I just got caught. She walked in the bedroom while I was doing it. We haven't had sex about 2 weeks. Before that we had sex once a week. I tried to have a sex but she didn't feel like it. So I masturbated. When she saw me her face was like that's so gross. And I finished and tried to talked to her are you mad. She never answered and locked me out of bedroom and still doesn't open the door.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calvinseok

I'm 23. My wife 19. She has been sick nowadays. She said masturbation makes her feel bad. Cuz she can't please me. That's why she got mad

Let's see. Your wife has been sick and hasn't felt like having sex. So you decide to masturbate. I don't have an issue up until that point. I do find it interesting that you chose to masturbate in the bedroom where she could walk in at any moment. Were you trying to get 'caught'? Was there a thought of her walking in and wanting to join you?

Do you normally masturbate? Did she know you masturbated before this?

I have absolutely no problem with masturbation. I feel both partners should explore their own bodies, thoughts and needs. However, I do believe that if one partner is ill or recovering from an illness that some discretion should be used.