Why? I really don't understand.When I was married to my ex ,our boys were only 2 and 4 .We went through the worst divorce. He was a absend dad.I did everything for my kids I was always there.My ex would be gone for days.We divorced and tried to get back again then I had my daughter years later.Then he was gone again.Now I have 3 kids.I work bought a beautiful home for my kids.I did daycare so I could always be home for my kids.We were extremely close.We went on vacations Went on weekend outing. Things were awesome.Well my oldest is 32 my other son is 30 and my daughter is 21.I did remarry to a very super man,I took us everywhere also.Cruises Bought my kids all cars Believe me we are not rich but we gave the kids everything they needed,He paid for their collage through his VA which my son who is 30 and my daughter used for 3 months until she got pregnant.Well this is were it all starts... Both my sons have been dating cousins,I did'nt agree with my oldest son sleeping with his girlfriend in my home and leaving evidence of his doing so .So he got mad when I told him that was not okay because your sister could walk in and I would not like her to see that .Well he moved out .Never talked to me again.Same thing happened with my other son,he also left and don't talk to me either and he won't let me see my 2 grandchildren,that he has.Then My daughter 21 moves in .I help her she gets evicted from her apartment because her boyfriend don't pay his share.So she came back everything was great.I watched the baby while she went to work .for 3 months.Well my husband and I were going to go out of town for 4 days.I asked her real dad to stay here and if she needed anything at least he would be here,you see now he is a good dad.But the kids only use him if they need something only.Well my daughter thought her boyfriend was going to be able to stay here but I did'nt want him to stay here,Some of the things he's done here before when we were gone were not good.So now my daughter moved out and I can't see the baby either.My question is Why? All my friends I have which some have been for Over 30 years no me and have seen the way I raised my kids.I was a very good mom.My daughter told me once your like a mother tereasa.Not But I do respect people. I was Never a mom who left my kids Never slept around. Help oh and my kids after years have'nt even married their girlfriends.And everyone of my kids are doing Very well financially,Which I am very happy for.I honestly hope for the best for my kids,They would be happy If I was not even around.They all talked together and through it in my face that We kicked them all out not true We bought a home that would be big enough for all of us.Please help me

In my opinion, I think that your kids have taken you for granted. You have gave them everything and you are getting shut out of their lives. But your kids are grown now and what they are doing is their decision and at a point in their lives they will regret what they are doing to you. I applaud you for what you have done for them but it doesn't seem like they have thanked and appreciate all that you have done for them.

Thank you so much for your kind words!

Personally, as a child we tend to forget all our parents do for us. They work hard to put food on the table, try their best to give us what we need. Some times kids just turn a blind eye to all of the hard work you do. For example, when you tell them what to do because you are worried about their well-being. All that they understand from it is, my mom thinks I'm a baby, or my parents don't trust me. At times kids don't understand that that's what they always will be to their parents. I'm not saying that parents don't trust their children I'm only stating that children will always be babies in their parents' eyes. Sometimes, I think that you have to remind yourself how old your kids are now becoming, (as well as a bit rebellious.) Personally, I think that M2125 is right about them not thanking you properly for all that you do. But you need to remember how these kids think. I am sorry if I offended you in any way, that was not my intention. I hope that my advice helped a little bit with your predicament.

-Love yourself and the world will love you. <3
----VioletSkies----

Thanks for your help.You know that no matter what , you do want to protect your kids from any harm . You don't want them to make the wrong choices . All I can say is the best of luck to all 3 of them,if they ever need me I will always be here for them .

I would love to hear more responses on my letter. Should I try to talk with them or just leave them alone? Or how should I approach it. Its good to hear how you young adults going through this to feel about it. And do you kids really miss us parents, do you even think of us... Look forward to hear some good feadback.

I have read your post and my heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you are going through. I am in the very same boat. It seems that more and more children are choosing to be estranged from one parent or both. People think that it must have been something we as parents did, well I am here to say that is not the case anymore. Maibe in extreme cases of abuse, yes, It might be best for a person to distant themselves from a parent, However, it takes absolutely nothing these days for this to happen. It is called the blame game. No one is and ever was a perfect parent. We have All made mistakes, but the parents who spoile their children with gifts, cars, money , seem to have been thrown to the curb like it's trash day everyday. I did this with my children. I bought them cars, paid rents, utilities, food, let them use me because I wasn't thinking straight. The moment I set boudries, My adult children have chose to not see or speak to me ever again. I lost my 7 beautiful grandchildren right along with my 3 grwon adult children. I have grieved for 4 years as If they all died. As hard as I tried, as many tears I cried and for the dozens of I'm sorry's, only gave them more ammunition and more power to be even more munipulitive towards me. I have finally realized, I have to distance myself. Grieving and crying is and will not bring them back. They have to grow up in a big way ! I will always love them, but this hurt and ache in me 24 hours a day , seven days a week will kill me if I don't love myself more then this. Would they care If I died? Maybe, But then it would be too late, So, I am pushing myself harder to have a life before they take mine too soon. Pray and live your life for YOU, if they have any sense at all they will come around eventually... it may take weeks, months or years, but you have to look out for YOU... they aren't. You are not alone.

Oh Debbie,Thank you so much. I feel soooo bad for you! I guess we are going through the same thing. But I'm growing stronger and its very hard to.I go in my daughter and my grandsons room where they stood. I see their clothes still in there the babies clothes that still have tags on,the whole closet is filled with the babies brand new shoes clothes beautiful crib.Its hard to see it everyday. But I have a idea that has really worked for me,I got a journal for each of my grandkids.So when ever I'm thinking of them I write it down.I tell them how much I love them and miss them.And every birthday,holiday I miss I will put a little money in it.Because as you know they won't be around to give them any gifts on those important day.So when they turn 18 then I will give it to them and they will see that all these years they DID have a grandma that loved them very much,but they were taken away from us.But Debbie don't sugar coat it,But don't talk ugle about their parents either.Because you want them to know that you really are a great person and their parents are the one's that have the problem. Take care and hang in there... ;)