All right so I have been dating this one guy for going on 5 years now. We started as a long distance relationship and as time has gone on we have fixed that. He has now moved to my town to be closer to me and friends he gained from all the time he spent down here to be with me. Were were broken up for a short period and he even lived with me and my roommates for about 3 months. I love him greatly and enjoy spending time with him but there is one major problem. We have no intimacy, and have been together so long it feels like we have slipped in to that rut where normal people stop having as much sex... but we never had it! The amount of intimacy in our relationship is minuscule at best. Holding hands and making out.. some groping but nothing really over that. And its him who is stopping it. In the past he was more wiggly and saying no but as time has gone on he had gotten more serious about it grabbing my hand and taking it away a little roughly at times when I try to push the issue. His reasons have changed over time starting at "were at my parent's house" "I'm not ready""your walls are too thin at your apartment" "my roommate is in the other room" and a bunch of other things in between. We have even talked about me getting on the pill, though I don't know why we need it for oral sex or less, but I'm up for it... I'm just worried that its not going to change anything. I have tried to talk to him about the issue but he masterfully avoids answering to the point I don't want to talk about it anymore.

ANYWAY

Advice?

BTW I am 22 and he is 23

'when I try to push the issue.'

The time to talk about this is not when you are trying to get intimate. Find a quiet time when no one is around and you are both clothed and not in a bedroom, and tell him you need to talk about this part of your relationship, why he does not or cannot move into a new stage of closeness. Let him talk (if he will) and even wait for him to talk if he finds it difficult. You could even start by asking him about his family, his childhood, just get him to talk about anything and hope something comes out - it could be trauma, it could be confusion about his desires (he might be gay but not want to be, or he might have strange desires and not like that either), or it could be strict upbringing, who knows but him? Find out as delicately as you can.

Here's the problem... you met him on the internet... odds are that's because he was too much of a loser to get a real woman that lived nearby... and now you are beginning to see the myriad of cracks not could never see online. That kept all the real local girls away from him. A normal guy would have gone at it in the hallway (a small exaggeration) and not cared about all the lame excuses (and they are lame) he's been feeding you.

Sorry, hear this story all too often... and the basics are almost always the same.

The fact that he doesn't want to talk about is a definite red flag. Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Without it, the relationship is bound to fail.

Perhaps you need to reassess your situation.

Oh and, I had roommates too at one point. Didn't stop my lover from indulding my flesh.

Tell him to get over it. Tell him to just cover your mouth when you cry out his name...

... just saying..