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-   -   I feel like I'm not doing anything to him? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=694990)

  • Aug 18, 2012, 04:23 PM
    Plugsndrugs
    I feel like I'm not doing anything to him?
    I've been dating this guy for a few months and we've had sex once, it was also my first time. He said he really liked the feeling of it and I was beautiful and he loves me but every time I try and get him to have sex with me again he doesn't.
    I know what turns him on and I do my best to stimulate those areas, I kiss, bite and suck his neck and chest like he loves so much, grind myself against him so he can feel how turned on I am and when I notice he isn't getting hard or even trying I try rubbing his member but all he does is smile and kiss me.
    I've given up completely and I'm convinced we will never have sex again, I even got naked for him and all he did was smile, I don't know if I'm a bad partner, if he isn't attracted to me or if there's another girl or guy but I'm so done with trying anymore.
    Is sex like this in all relationships? (this is my first partner)
    And should I talk to him about it or wait for him to make a move on me? (I'm scared of making him feel pressured to have sex with me or uncomfortable about staying flaccid no matter what I do.)
  • Aug 18, 2012, 05:04 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Plugsndrugs View Post
    I've been dating this guy for a few months and we've had sex once, it was also my first time. He said he really liked the feeling of it and I was beautiful and he loves me but every time I try and get him to have sex with me again he doesn't.
    I know what turns him on and I do my best to stimulate those areas, I kiss, bite and suck his neck and chest like he loves so much, grind myself against him so he can feel how turned on I am and when i notice he isn't getting hard or even trying I try rubbing his member but all he does is smile and kiss me.
    I've given up completely and I'm convinced we will never have sex again, I even got naked for him and all he did was smile, I don't know if I'm a bad partner, if he isn't attracted to me or if there's another girl or guy but I'm so done with trying anymore.
    Is sex like this in all relationships? (this is my first partner)
    And should I talk to him about it or wait for him to make a move on me? (I'm scared of making him feel pressured to have sex with me or uncomfortable about staying flaccid no matter what I do.)

    First things first - how old are the two of you?

    Second things second - what type of birth control are you using?
  • Aug 18, 2012, 05:09 PM
    Plugsndrugs
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    First things first - how old are the two of you?

    Second things second - what type of birth control are you using?
    I'm 16 in September and he's 18 next year, I take mercilon (which was originally for regulating my period because it was incredibly irregular) and he used a condom too of course, we're not that stupid aha.
  • Aug 18, 2012, 05:13 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Plugsndrugs View Post
    I'm 16 in September and he's 18 next year, I take mercilon (which was originally for regulating my period because it was incredibly irregular) and he used a condom too of course, we're not that stupid aha.

    No "aha" involved - you would probably be surprised.

    You aren't 16. You are 15. In many States and Countries he has committed legal rape. "aha."
  • Aug 18, 2012, 05:19 PM
    Plugsndrugs
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    No "aha" involved - you would probably be surprised.

    You aren't 16. You are 15. In many States and Countries he has committed legal rape. "aha."
    It's considered consensual rape if my parents decide to press charges against him but our families have been friends for quite a long time and I have a pretty open relationship with my step mom so she's fully aware we've had sex and said as long as I'm being safe and think I'm ready to handle the responsibility in case something goes wrong I can do as I please.
    I've known a few other girls in public schools who got pregnant because they weren't on birth control and I've already told my boyfriend that I don't care how effective birth control is said to be, he needs to use condoms because it's most definitely better safe than sorry.
  • Aug 18, 2012, 05:22 PM
    get8p
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    You aren't 16. You are 15. In many States and Countries he has committed legal rape. "aha."
    Doesn't matter... Had sex xDDD

    No girl, that does not typical. Dude is clearly dumb. This is only problem of his own, so drop him and forget this dummy, find a guy that is not so... frigid, and who will value you.
    Cheers.
    One more thing - for your own future sake - use the damn protection. Trust me you wouldn't like to be one of those 16 'n pregnant -_-
  • Aug 18, 2012, 05:32 PM
    Plugsndrugs
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by get8p View Post
    Doesn't matter... Had sex xDDD

    No girl, that does not typical. Dude is clearly dumb. This is only problem of his own, so drop him and forget this dummy, find a guy that is not so... frigid, and who will value you.
    Cheers.
    One more thing - for your own future sake - use the damn protection. Trust me you wouldn't like to be one of those 16 'n pregnant -_-
    Believe me, I care more about the protection more than the sex (meaning if he wanted to one night but didn't have a condom, sucks to be him.) my sister was a pregnant teen so I'm definitely taking as many pro cautions as I can. :L
  • Aug 18, 2012, 05:54 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Plugsndrugs View Post
    It's considered consensual rape if my parents decide to press charges against him but our families have been friends for quite a long time and I have a pretty open relationship with my step mom so she's fully aware we've had sex and said as long as I'm being safe and think I'm ready to handle the responsibility in case something goes wrong I can do as I please.
    I've known a few other girls in public schools who got pregnant because they weren't on birth control and I've already told my boyfriend that I don't care how effective birth control is said to be, he needs to use condoms because it's most definitely better safe than sorry.

    Where are you that you can legally consent to sex at 15? You CANNOT legal consent below certain ages, which are:

    Alabama - 16; Alaska - 16; Arizona - 18; Arkansas - 16; California - 18; Colorado - 17; Connecticut - 16; D.C. - 16; Delaware - 18; Florida - 18; Georgia - 16; Hawaii - 16; Idaho - 18; Illinois - 17; Indiana - 16; Iowa - 16; Kansas - 16; Kentucky - 16; Louisiana - 17; Maine - 16; Maryland - 16; Massachusetts - 16; Michigan - 16; Minnesota - 16; Mississippi - 16; Missouri - 17; Montana - 16; Nebraska - 17; Nevada - 16; New Hampshire - 16; New Jersey - 16; New Mexico - 17; New York - 17; North Carolina - 16; North Dakota - - 18; Ohio - - 16; Oklahoma - 16; Oregon - 18; Pennsylvania - 16; Rhode Island - 16; South Carolina - 16; South Dakota - 16; Tennessee - 18; Texas - 17; Utah - 18; Vermont - 16; Virginia - 18; Washington - 16.

    The age in Canada is 16.

    Below these ages it is LEGAL rape.

    I'm rather startled that your stepmother has no problems with you having sex and attempting to seduce an apparently unwilling partner, particularly when there's already been a pregnant teen in your family.

    You're so desperate that you got naked and rubbed against a "guy" who is apparently unwilling or unable to have sex with you? Where's yourself respect?
  • Aug 18, 2012, 06:12 PM
    Plugsndrugs
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Where are you that you can legally consent to sex at 15? You CANNOT legal consent below certain ages, which are:

    Alabama - 16; Alaska - 16; Arizona - 18; Arkansas - 16; California - 18; Colorado - 17; Connecticut - 16; D.C. - 16; Delaware - 18; Florida - 18; Georgia - 16; Hawaii - 16; Idaho - 18; Illinois - 17; Indiana - 16; Iowa - 16; Kansas - 16; Kentucky - 16; Louisiana - 17; Maine - 16; Maryland - 16; Massachusetts - 16; Michigan - 16; Minnesota - 16; Mississippi - 16; Missouri - 17; Montana - 16; Nebraska - 17; Nevada - 16; New Hampshire - 16; New Jersey - 16; New Mexico - 17; New York - 17; North Carolina - 16; North Dakota - - 18; Ohio - - 16; Oklahoma - 16; Oregon - 18; Pennsylvania - 16; Rhode Island - 16; South Carolina - 16; South Dakota - 16; Tennessee - 18; Texas - 17; Utah - 18; Vermont - 16; Virginia - 18; Washington - 16.

    The age in Canada is 16.

    Below these ages it is LEGAL rape.

    I'm rather startled that your stepmother has no problems with you having sex and attempting to seduce an apparently unwilling partner, particularly when there's already been a pregnant teen in your family.

    You're so desperate that you got naked and rubbed against a "guy" who is apparently unwilling or unable to have sex with you? Where's your self respect?
    I'm sixteen in two months, we had sex for the first time last month after dating for three months and having a semi relationship two months prior.
    I've had two step mothers actually, the first one had her daughter come home pregnant at 19, which is technically classed as a teen pregnancy. It's been nearly ten years since their divorce so she doesn't have any authority in my life anymore. However, my current step mother has a teenaged son whom has also had sex multiple times while being safe so she doesn't see anything wrong with it.
    I should have put a little more detail into the post, basically what I forgot to add was that my boyfriend had wanted to have sex multiple times, these aren't random acts caused by a wonky teenaged libido. The nakedly rubbing against his was technically half naked because I still had my underwear on, it was lead up to by a series of prior things. He just can't get hard whenever we both want to.
    As for the self respect comment, I have plenty; the only person I have ever acted this way for is my boyfriend. There are a lot of irresponsible teenagers who have had sex before the age of 15 or 16 with multiple partners and I don't plan on giving myself out to just anybody I meet.
  • Aug 18, 2012, 06:38 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Plugsndrugs View Post
    I'm sixteen in two months, we had sex for the first time last month after dating for three months and having a semi relationship two months prior.
    I've had two step mothers actually, the first one had her daughter come home pregnant at 19, which is technically classed as a teen pregnancy. It's been nearly ten years since their divorce so she doesn't have any authority in my life anymore. However, my current step mother has a teenaged son whom has also had sex multiple times while being safe so she doesn't see anything wrong with it.
    I should have put a little more detail into the post, basically what I forgot to add in was that my boyfriend had wanted to have sex multiple times, these aren't random acts caused by a wonky teenaged libido. The nakedly rubbing against his was technically half naked because I still had my underwear on, it was lead up to by a series of prior things. He just can't get hard whenever we both want to.
    As for the self respect comment, I have plenty; the only person I have ever acted this way for is my boyfriend. There are a lot of irresponsible teenagers who have had sex before the age of 15 or 16 with multiple partners and I don't plan on giving myself out to just anybody I meet.

    You're just not getting it so I'm going to give up - you cannot give consent below the age of consent. Your boyfriend has committed legal rape. Oh, I see, naked means not naked.

    Good luck.
  • Aug 18, 2012, 06:41 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Plugsndrugs View Post
    There are a lot of irresponsible teenagers who have had sex before the age of 15 or 16 with multiple partners and I don't plan on giving myself out to just anybody I meet.
    "Irresponsible teenagers" also means having sex and taking the risk of getting pregnant.

    "Irresponsible teenagers" are also those under the legal age of consent who have sex.
  • Aug 19, 2012, 05:33 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    "Irresponsible teenagers" also means having sex and taking the risk of getting pregnant.

    "Irresponsible teenagers" are also those under the legal age of consent who have sex.

    I also think irresponsible is seeing the law with your own eyes and responding with, "My stepmother {who very obviously is not an Attorney} says it's okay." Maybe both the boyfriend and the stepmother should be in jail.

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