Hey all, I need your expert opinions or thoughts on my current situation.

A little background information about my relationship.

I'm 24 (I have a 2 year old son), and have been dating this girl (she's 18) for the last 7 months. I met her when she was 17 (about a week before her 18th birthday), she was 4.5 months pregnant with someone else's child. She had a beautiful baby girl 3 months ago, who I treat and take care of as she is biologically mine even though she isn't (unfortunately). My girlfriend and I both love our little family we have, as well as each other.

Now here is why I'm posting here, the last 2 months have been filled with stress and depression, for me and for her. I have been out of work for almost a year (have been working through a temp agency) so I randomly worked for a few weeks here and there, then not at all for awhile, so that alone was frustrating. With that being said, me being financially stressed, I couldn't afford anything for my son or myself (that is/was a huge cause of my depression), my parents constantly on my case for getting a FT job, as well as my girlfriend and I arguing the last couple months. It has been rough. I knew I was depressed but I really didn't want to admit it. I did though, and I went to talk to my doctor, I do have mild depression, and he recommended medication, but I refused, I said I think ill be able to get over it. It was a situational depression of that makes sense. I finally got a job I've been waiting for, making a large amount of money. So my depression has already started to fade. As for my girlfriend she has been diagnosed with severe anxiety side way before we met, as well as depression. She also has mild Aspergers syndrome, and with her having a child and being a new parent she has also got Post Partum Depression (she is an excellent mother and I am VERY proud of her, so there is no need to worry about abuse or anything negative toward our/her baby girl) she also had a hard time admitting to her PPD (Post Partum Depression) but I am happy she did. I'm trying my best to help her, but it doesn't seem to be enough. She has gone to talk with a nurse from a hospital about it, and she told me that the nurse didn't help at all. So she doesn't think anyone can help her with it, so I told her to contact her doctor, she's going to.

Sorry for such a long "question", I have a lot to say, and I want to give as much detail as possible so you can give me a decent answer.

Back to why I'm here, we have been arguing a lot lately, mainly about stupid things I bring up (old Facebook messages from people, saying sexual things about her, and a few other messages) mainly its.just me being insecure and jealous I suppose. I take full responsibility for causing 99% of the arguments, I've apologized and it seems like we've moved on a bit.

She left me about 2 weeks ago (we were only split up for a week) because she wanted to work on ourselves separately, rather than donut as a couple, as you can imagine it was really hard dealing with that but I persevered, stayed strong and she realized that it was a mistake, however before we officially got back together, I told her to think about it, because if she wanted space or time to take it now, because if we split up again I might not stick around and she reassured me she wanted us together forever and that she truly loved me and wanted to work on us as a couple. 2 is better than one kind of thing.

So we got back together on the 8th of Aug, and its been pretty good, she seemed to show some positive improvements on her depression, and I have as well. Things were going great up until 3 days ago. We got into another fight, this time it being her fault completely (that's what I think anyway). She wanted to watch a TV show that I didn't want to watch so I asked her nicely to record it (she had a DVR) and she said "NO! Just go on your phone" in a really rude voice, so I was like no I don't want to I want to spend time with you, then she replied with "pffft that's a first" (I constantly want to spend time with her, I'm the one who always makes plans to go over to her house), so I got a little angry but I didn't get angry toward her, I just grabbed a cigarette and went outside to calm down. So after being out there for 20 minutes, I asked her to just come sit on the bench swing she has to look at the stars with me and she said "No, I'm to lazy" so I said w/e. Stayed out there for another 5 minutes and went back inside. I sat down beside her and tried to kindly tell her the way she was acting was rude and she was kind of being a little bit of a (that was the first time I've ever used that word with her) she got super pissed off n told me I was rude, and instantly said "IM GOING TO BED", I got up packed my bag, and said bye n left her house, didn't give her a hug or kiss or say I love you I just left because I felt like she didn't care about me at all, she was showing no interest in me. (I realize that wasn't the best thing to do, bit I couldn't take it I just needed to leave). Anyway I got home, messaged her and apologized, said I was in the wrong and shouldn't have called her a because she really isn't one, and I explained to her that the way she was acting wasn't fair, and she said she didn't want to talk (which is like every time I try to bring up a serious conversation) so she went to sleep. I hung out with her the next day, and she told me that she is afraid of commitment and physical contact. (Which is new news to me, she has always said she wants us forever and she loves when I touch her, massage, rub her neck/back/legs, hold hands, etc nothing sexual) she also told me that I smother her. (I'm very affectionate, loving and caring) so she has asked me to stop touching her as often, stop being as affectionate, to stop coming over as often and to stop messaging her so much.

She has basically asked me to stop doing everything that I love and look for in a relationship, which she offered but has now suddenly changed.

I have agreed to try my best to stop doing those things as much, it is very hard but I'm willing to try. I do love her and her daughter VERY VERY much, she is actually the first person I've really truly loved. I feel so connected to her, its hard to explain.

Again I apologize for such a long message/question, but what are your thoughts or opinions on what I should do it what do you think is right or wrong. Am I stupid? LOL what do you think about this situation?

PS- I'm sorry if there is typos, I'm using my cell phone.

Well for starters she was being rude. The "she also told me that I smother her. (I'm very affectionate, loveing and caring) so she has asked me to stop touching her as often, stop being as affectionate, to stop coming over as often and to stop messaging her so much." part is sort of understandable. It's a very good thing to be loving and caring but there are times (esspecially for women) when we feel as though we don't want to be so touchy with other people and sort of want others to just back off, and it makes sense with her because she's still technically a teen because she's 18. Plus she had a kid (hormons play a part in this). But I do have to say that it was Extremely rude of her not to DVR her show and she denied your offer to sit with you outside in such a manner is outrageous. Saying, "No, I'm to lazy" is not very mature. She should have said " No thank you, I would like to watch this" but then again she should have recorded it in the first place. Her behavior could also be from her depression (she could be feeling down and she may not notice her rudeness and not want to admit to it, she probably just feels run down or blue. Just offer some comfort and if she doesn't want it give her a little room. Stay be her side but don't cling to it. When walking offer to hold her hand don't just grab it, she might notice your thinking of her feelings and your not trying to "smother" her.) Give her strong encouragement and don't dwell on the past. Try not to bring up old arguments or old problems, they always lead to new ones. Whatever happens just try to forgive and forget, it's the best solution for any problem. :) Also, about the texting thing don't text her all the time leave it to were there are some days were you send 1 or 2 texts that are simple yet sweet and have other days when she might be in a good mood, to have a nice long conversation about something you thought was funny or mabe she has something she likes to talk about. Just be there to listen to her and I'm sure she will do the same! :) Relationships are built on trust, love, agreement, understanding, listening, (but those are only the good things) all relationships are going to have problems and hurdles you need to jump over but not always by yourself. Its best to jump them together. Well, I hope I helped a little bit? If not, that's OK. I hope everything turns out all right for you guys! (sorry for typing so much) :p

Here is the short version of a long answer. Where is your kid in all this? Your priority isn't your girlfriend and her daughter, its you and your son. Do you want your son growing up in this situation? Your girlfriend has some mental health issues and only she can be the one to see the doctor and address her problems. If she wants to be with you, she will have to take personal responsibility and grow up a little. As you have both decided to take a break from each other, use it wisely. I think once you date someone a bit more mature, (ie someone your own age) then you might get a better perspective on your problems. Even if you end up back together, until you both grow up a little bit (ie being nosy and worrying about fb posts instead of being secure in your relationship) you will continue to have these same problems. You need to put your son first, you second and everyone else after that. Your sone needs a smart, strong, well balanced father in his life more than he needs a depressed anxiety ridden teen age mom. Best of luck.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...me-537009.html

Sounds to me like you chose another female like the last female, and gotten attached pretty fast for a 7 month thing, and as young as this one is, you are simply moving this to fast, so of course like the other relationship, this one too will crash and burn.

Back off and stop trying so hard to make a family so quickly. She has issues and a lot of other things on her mind, and you have not yet developed the skill of patience to deal with all she needs.

If indeed you could see things objectively, it was a bad idea to latch onto this vulnerable female who was pregnant already, and expect she would be ready to be a great partner in the first place. You better back off and get a more reasonable expectation for this female, because you sure cannot help her, you don't have the skills, and you sure can't make her help herself.

Hell, you barely get along so be single guy, and don't latch onto any female for a while. You want a healthy adult relationship? Then you both better be happy healthy adults. She was not when you got with her, is not now, and has a long way to go to be a happy healthy adult. So do you. You sorely need to make better choices.

Now what happened to the baby mama?

Thanks for the replies guys, I am trying to give her more alone time. It is hard because since day one she's always said she wants me there everyday, so this is just a big change but I'm willing to try my best, that's all I can do right. Things will work.out its just hard for me but I know I can do it.

As far as my priority, I know my son is and always will be, I never said he wasn't. He doesn't live with me, he lives with my ex. I get him every weekend and when I do I play and spend all my time with him, so I don't talk much with my girlfriend unless he naps or is sleeping at night.

During the week I don't have him so that's why I really enjoy being with my girlfriend and our beautiful daughter. They are my family too.

Thanks for commenting again on this question too talaniman, I appreciate what you have to say, however I was single for just about a year and I decided that I would give another relationship a shot, I tried dating, met a few interesting people but no one worth my time, until I met this girl. She is very special to me and I do want her forever. I realize she may be young but that's OK, I realize she has her own problems and I'm OK with taking on this challenge to help her and do whatever I can to see her happy, she deserves that. I plan on taking a step back, making her not feel smothered, and slowing things back down I have no issue with that it was just a surprise change, because she told me when we first started dating that she really enjoyed that, so I was just who I am, but now she feels differently and that's hurts but I'm OK with dealing with that. So thank you for your input.

As far as my ex (baby mama) I left her because she was not treating me well, this was shortly after I made that first question. Things didn't work out, I realized how manipulative she was and I decoded I could do hell of a lot better. Which I have most definitely found. Like I said I was single for a year trying to figure out what I wanted and to spend time with my son and just get my life on track. I am happy with the girl I am with, we've had a few problems here and there but we are strong so I know we can do this.

She is actually a great partner, responsible and mature. Sometimes she acts immature but so do I, who doesn't sometimes. Anyway I do plan on working to make our relationship work, I do love this girl with all my heart.

Again thanks guys, anyone else have opinions? Would still like to hear what other people think